Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Church Of The Habs


Start Of The Third
Originally uploaded by *Bundy*
Whenever someone asks me what my religion is, I always answer with, "The Montreal Canadiens."

Of course that isn't completely accurate but the most successful NHL team is like a religion to me and the members of my immediate family. In fact, just recently I had a chance to visit my church (the Bell Centre) and take in a three period sermon on the ice.

As a life long Habs fans, my father and I had never seen the Canadiens play in Montreal. We never had a chance to see a game at the old Forum and until this occasion we'd never been to the new home to the winning-est team in NHL history.

We'd seen the Habs play in Toronto at Maple Leaf Gardens and the Air Canada Centre and we've even been to some Montreal games in Tampa Bay, the home of the Lightning.

But this was a special treat to finally watch our beloved Canadiens on home ice. It was a quick trip overall as we spent less than 24-hours in La Belle Province arriving by train. It was very cold as well which made walking around and seeing the city very difficult. I guess we'll have to visit again when the weather is nicer.

This trip however was all about seeing the Habs and the Bell Centre. Our hotel was only a block away so we ventured down early in the afternoon and braved the cold long enough to look at all of the plaques, statues, retired numbers and various other Canadiens items outside.

Later in the evening we returned to enjoy the game which was very entertaining even though Montreal lost to Carolina. Just being in the rink with the stands empty prior to the game was a special moment of quiet reflection. But to experience the atmosphere of a sold out Bell Centre with the NHL's most emotional, knowledgeable and boisterous fans was something to see and hear.

Being able to experience this with my dad was something special and even though the whole trip cost a pretty penny it was well worth it and I'd love to go again in the future. Preferably to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

It's A Royal Party


Grab your royal purple swim trunks and your crown jewels and get ready for a regal party like you’ve never seen before.

Queen Elizabeth is celebrating 60 years on the throne. That’s a long time! I know how much time I’ve languished on the throne during my almost 44 years spent in this world and my butt gets numb just thinking about it.

I’m still waiting for my invite to arrive in the mail but I can just picture the blowout that’s planned at Buckingham Palace for Her Royal Majesty in honour of this rare occasion. Heck, only once in the history of Canada have we had the opportunity to celebrate a previous Diamond Jubilee and I know none of you were invited to that shindig. In 1897, Queen Victoria proved that if you sit on the throne long enough and your legs don’t lose all sensation, you can reach this miraculous milestone.

While the celebrations among the Commonwealth countries will be extensive, the private party for family and close friends is the one I’m more interested in. I can just imagine what might transpire around the backyard palace pool this summer.

The Queen will no doubt have on her smoking hot red two-piece as she spreads out on a chaise lounge chair poolside. Her crown is safely perched on a table nearby as servants continually bring her martini’s and David Beckham rubs suntan lotion on her back while wearing only his signature briefs.

Over at the barbecue Prince Phillip has some mysterious meat on a spit rotating over the heat. With a scotch in one hand and a basting brush in the other as he shares a story with Prince Andrew who feigns interest while watching his daughters, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, as they search for one of the Queen’s missing corgis.

Prince Harry emerges from the pool change room adjusting his swimming trunks and still inside I can see a topless Pippa Middleton attempting to quickly compose herself before her sister arrives. Harry gets a high five from his father Prince Charles as they saunter over to the bar. Charles can be overheard saying, “Well done old boy. Like father like son.

At the bar, Charles and Harry are greeted by Victoria Beckham and Camilla who have been discussing how beautiful Posh Spice is. Camilla, not realizing that Victoria in fact is Posh Spice, thinks it’s uncanny how much Victoria looks like her.

Suddenly security is called and swiftly two of the Royal Guards pounce on an intruder found lurking in the bushes. In no time at all, Sarah Ferguson is escorted from the palace grounds kicking and screaming something about wanting to be relevant again.

A splash is heard as Pippa finally emerged and cannonballs into the pool with the intent to clean the filth off her body and the guilt from her mind. Her bikini top immediately rips loose on impact with the water. Nobody notices because they’ve all seen it before. Well, actually Princess Anne noticed because she was standing next to the pool and was splashed and doesn’t look happy about it. She angrily storms off and hops on a horse and goes for a ride.

While Elton John plays the piano in close proximity and sings “Kiss the Bride”, he’s interrupted by the sound of a British Navy rescue helicopter as it lands on the helipad in the backyard. Prince William and Kate step out with gifts in hand for the Queen. Kate looks amazing in her bikini. I ask Prince Edward and Sophie if Kate’s lost weight again. They inform me that she is getting thinner which is odd since she’s 4 months pregnant.

William shouts out, “Let’s get this party started, the chosen ones in da house bitches.”  Harry rushes over and whispers something in Will’s ear whose response was, “way to go bro!” Now proclaiming that she’s starving, Kate goes over to the food table, breaks off half a cracker, eats it and then complains about eating too much.

By this point I’ve seen enough. I walk over to the Queen and congratulate her on her Diamond Jubilee one more time, then my date, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and I jump in our limo and head to a local pub to party with real people.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Greatest Super Bowl Performance

Today is Super Bowl XLVI between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots and I couldn't care less about it. That's not to say I'm not a football fan because I am but I'm not a fan of the Giants or Pats. My NFL teams of choice are the Chicago Bears and the Washington Redskins and they didn't even make the playoffs this year.

Now I do plan to watch the game because it's still the biggest game of the year, even if it might not be the best game of the year. But this isn't about football. For me as a music fan, the real spectacle and highlight usually comes at half time when in recent times the entertainment is provided by well known musical acts.

Some years are better than others and this year it's Madonna performing. I don't hate Madonna but I just don't see her as the right choice for the Super Bowl. But I'll watch it and make my assessment later. Maybe she'll surprise me.

To me the great entertainers of past Super Bowls were acts that own stadium shows. Bands like The Who, Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band, Prince and Michael Jackson.

When it comes down the worst performances, I can't help but single out the Black Eyed Peas, Christina Aguilera, Toni Braxton, Enrique Iglesias, Patti Labelle, Elvis Presto and the Winter Wonderland salute. Do a Google search for some of those performances if you don't believe me.

For me though, the absolute best and my most favourite performance at the Super Bowl came in 2002 at Super Bowl XXXVI when U2 took to the stage and not only gave a great performance but also an amazing tribute to all of the people who lost their lives during the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Watching the seemingly endless list of names scroll up the screen behind the band was unbelievable but at the same time the exceptional playing of "Where the Street's Have No Name" was electric.

If you don't believe me, have a look at the video evidence below. Keep in mind, I'm a huge U2 fan from way back in my youth. I've also included my second favourite performance by Bruce Springsteen and the 1987 show for your enjoyment.