Topless Security System

Growing up in almost any community you likely had some older lady in your neighbourhood that you avoided because she scared the bajeezus out of you. You know… the not so attractive woman in the old house at the end of the street or on the hill that you knew had to be a witch.

Of course as you got older you eventually realized she was harmless, or in my case, you found out she liked to be visited by strange men at all hours for “company”.

Often times she turned out to be a perfectly nice person who just didn’t like being bothered by kids irritating her. She frowned on having children trampling her flowers or yard while retrieving errant Frisbees, baseballs or soccer balls. Let’s face it, as kids we weren’t exactly keenly aware of flowerbeds and the like.

But our mischievous behaviour usually only resulted in a verbal scolding, phone call to our mothers or the odd soup can projectile targeting our heads.

In the year 2010, it would appear the tactics of the older generation are changing in regards to annoyances of the youthful kind. Take for example Marika De Florio near Kingston, Ontario who has been bothered for some time by a 6-year-old boy.

As I understand it, the young lad has an infatuation for riding ATV’s and his usual route in this rural community takes him past the De Florio home. Now anyone could deal with the youngster riding this motorized vehicle 100 feet away from your front door a few times a day but according to De Florio, the child rides “around and around the house for seven to 10 hours on a Sunday and four to five hours on a Saturday.”

This boy really loves his all terrain vehicle!

Nothing seemed to stop this incessant annoyance so finally De Florio took, what I can only assume, were drastic measures. She decided to go topless in front of the child. That’s right, the shirt came off, the bra snapped open and out they popped… and dropped, I imagine. This prompted the boy’s grandparents to grab him and swiftly shelter him from this new form of topless double-barrelled security.

While not a conventional deterrent, it seemed to get the job done, plus her tan is more even now. It should be noted that it is perfectly legal for Ms. De Florio to go topless in Ontario as women have that right in the Province…and I for one support it. Of course in my opinion there's "good topless" and "bad topless." I'm speculating that she would fall into the second category.

The parents of the boy still hope for peace with their not so shy neighbour and have taken steps to improve relations by limiting the kid to riding 15 minutes at a time and away from the De Florio property. This isn’t totally acceptable to De Florio who says she “doesn’t want (the boy) to be on the ATV when I am home.”

It would seem this story might not be over just yet and we can only assume the breasts will continue to swing freely in the breeze until a solution can be found and the situation perks up.

Wings and Breasts

All these years I’ve been writing this blog and not once have I talked about one of my favourite restaurants and the controversy surrounding it over the years.

Perhaps the reason why I haven’t talked about it is because there isn’t a franchise located within 100 kilometres of where I live. I would like to see that issue rectified sooner rather than later.

The eating establishment of which I speak is none other than Hooters.

OK, I know what you’re thinking and yes I do like it because there are usually some very attractive young ladies working as servers there but that isn’t the only reason. It’s just 95% of my basis for liking it.

Sure the gals in their tight uniform tops and skimpy orange shorts are easy on the eyes. Yes they are often times testing the strength of the fabric that contains their ample…assets, but just because they work there doesn’t mean they aren’t intelligent, educated women with more to contribute to the community than a bit of jiggle and some giggles.

When you think of Hooters you obviously think of the possible sexual exploitation of these women but when some feminist argues that they are being treated as objects, how come the girls working at Hooters don’t agree?

It’s a job like any other and the ladies who work for Hooters know full well that they’re not only selling food and merchandise, but they’re also selling themselves to some degree. They’re selling their personality, friendliness and looks and this can translate into more generous gratuities from their customers. This is no different than any other eatery.

While the eye-candy and décor may be nice, the food they serve must be tasty as well. Of course at Hooters you’re not going to get the same food you’d expect at a fine dining establishment. Instead, I’d say its quality is comparable to a Kelsey’s or Boston Pizza. The wings have always been a favourite of mine.

And for the record, I’ve eaten at both Kelsey’s and Boston Pizza and the female wait staff there can be equally attractive with a little less skin showing. But the sex appeal of Hooters is obviously part of the selling point and the experience you expect. And for that, I’m thankful.

Unlike those other restaurants, Hooters also creates a buzz with their annual swimsuit calendars, bikini contests, charity car washes and of course their huge beauty pageants.

But for some reason, Hooters has been looked down upon by the less open-minded members of our society. In this day and age I’m still shocked by how people can become flustered and upset by the female form and a bit of cleavage. I mean…come on…they’re only boobs for crying out loud! The only reason I’m attracted to them is because I don’t have any. Or at least mine certainly aren’t as nicely sized and shaped. In Europe it’s no big deal and here in Canada women are allowed to sunbathe topless if they choose…although most are still a bit too shy.

If I had the cash and opportunity I would love to own and operate a franchise in my area and I think it could do quite well. It’s an enjoyable family restaurant where anyone can be proud to stand and pronounce to the world…I love HOOTERS!