It's time for more news of the weird and wacky with comments by me thrown in for good measure.
Despite the bold prediction by a California preacher who foresaw the world's end would take place this past Saturday at 6pm, Harold Camping has now revised his apocalyptic prophecy, saying he had a slight miscalculation and was actually off by five months. He now says the Earth actually will be obliterated on Oct. 21 of this year. Camping, who predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday before global cataclysm struck the planet, said that he felt so terrible when his doomsday message did not come true that he left home and took refuge in a motel with his wife. His independent ministry, Family Radio International, spent millions — some of it from donations made by followers — on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 recreational vehicles plastered with the Judgment Day message.
**He probably left home for fear that the brain dead morons who believed him and gave away all of their money and possessions were going to track him down and make sure he saw his maker. Come on, lets be honest. Do you really think God would end the world before Oprah's final show had a chance to be aired?**
The infamous black bears of Christina Lake, B.C., appear to be weaning themselves off dog food, according to the man who once fed them $100 worth of kibbles a day. Allen Piche pleaded guilty in March to feeding the two dozen wild black bears on his property. He'll be sentenced in the fall but in the meantime was ordered by the B.C. Conservation Society to stop the practice, which had been going on for years. Police discovered the docile bears when they raided a marijuana grow operation on Piche's property last August. Initially, there was speculation the bears were guarding the marijuana, but Piche denied that was the case.
**Police became suspicious about the marijuana when they found the bears wearing tie-died Grateful Dead t-shirts and suffering from a serious case of the munchies.**
OK, I never promise my comments will be funny.
Showing posts with label Oddities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oddities. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
News Oddities For January
It's time for more news of the weird and wacky with comments by me thrown in for good measure.
Police say a man who had three outstanding warrants for his arrest gave officers a false name during a traffic stop — but ended up in custody anyway because that man was also wanted. During a traffic stop in Great Falls, Montana, Jonothan Ray Gonsalez told police that his name was Timothy Michael Koop Jr. The officer learned a man by that name was wanted in Hill County and arrested him. A a search of Gonsalez after his arrest turned up half a gram of methamphetamine in his jacket pocket and he was charged with criminal possession of dangerous drugs. To add insult to stupidity, a charge of issuing a false report to law enforcement was added.
**Why didn't he pick a different name of someone that he knew wouldn't be wanted by police like Willie Nelson, Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan?**
Authorities in Delaware say a man broke into a house, got drunk and couldn't make his way back outside — so he called police for help. Police say 44-year-old John Finch was trapped in the home partly because he'd broken into it before, back in April. That led the homeowner to change the locks so that a key was required — even inside. No one was home when Finch broke in again, through a rear window. He stayed for a few days, drinking five bottles of liquor. He was too drunk to climb back out of the window, however, and called police, who arrested him.
**He has a lawyer but hasn't been in front of a judge yet. It seems he's too busy setting up the jail house chapter of Mensa.**
A man confessed to robbing a bank after his wife saw a surveillance photo on the evening news and alerted them. A camera got a clear shot of the man with a pony tail and scruffy beard robbing the First Bank in Bradenton, Florida. The robber got away. According to reports, Manatee County Sheriff's officials got a break when Afra Sandifar saw a news report about the robbery. She called authorities and told them her husband was the robber. That's when 45-year-old Troy Sandifar fled the couple's apartment. Deputies stopped his vehicle but Troy Sandifar refused to get out. They say he ingested what appeared to be drugs before they were able to arrest him. He was taken to the hospital, where authorities say he confessed.
**See guys...this is why you don't buy your wife a Chia Pet and dieting books for Christmas.**
OK, I never said my comments would be funny.
Police say a man who had three outstanding warrants for his arrest gave officers a false name during a traffic stop — but ended up in custody anyway because that man was also wanted. During a traffic stop in Great Falls, Montana, Jonothan Ray Gonsalez told police that his name was Timothy Michael Koop Jr. The officer learned a man by that name was wanted in Hill County and arrested him. A a search of Gonsalez after his arrest turned up half a gram of methamphetamine in his jacket pocket and he was charged with criminal possession of dangerous drugs. To add insult to stupidity, a charge of issuing a false report to law enforcement was added.
**Why didn't he pick a different name of someone that he knew wouldn't be wanted by police like Willie Nelson, Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan?**
Authorities in Delaware say a man broke into a house, got drunk and couldn't make his way back outside — so he called police for help. Police say 44-year-old John Finch was trapped in the home partly because he'd broken into it before, back in April. That led the homeowner to change the locks so that a key was required — even inside. No one was home when Finch broke in again, through a rear window. He stayed for a few days, drinking five bottles of liquor. He was too drunk to climb back out of the window, however, and called police, who arrested him.
**He has a lawyer but hasn't been in front of a judge yet. It seems he's too busy setting up the jail house chapter of Mensa.**
A man confessed to robbing a bank after his wife saw a surveillance photo on the evening news and alerted them. A camera got a clear shot of the man with a pony tail and scruffy beard robbing the First Bank in Bradenton, Florida. The robber got away. According to reports, Manatee County Sheriff's officials got a break when Afra Sandifar saw a news report about the robbery. She called authorities and told them her husband was the robber. That's when 45-year-old Troy Sandifar fled the couple's apartment. Deputies stopped his vehicle but Troy Sandifar refused to get out. They say he ingested what appeared to be drugs before they were able to arrest him. He was taken to the hospital, where authorities say he confessed.
**See guys...this is why you don't buy your wife a Chia Pet and dieting books for Christmas.**
OK, I never said my comments would be funny.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
News Oddities For March
It's time once again for more news of the weird and wacky with a few comments by me thrown in for good measure.
A 25-year-old Florida man has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for violating his probation by trying to break into the Brevard County jail. Authorities say he tried to climb a 12-foot fence at the Brevard County Detention Center. He was caught and hospitalized with severe cuts from the barbed wire. He had been released a week earlier after accepting a plea deal on a manslaughter charge.
**Is the food really that good in Florida prisons? Either that or he missed some of that sweet sweet inmate lovin'.**
Two golfers at a San Diego area country club sank a most unlikely pair of aces. Charles T. White nailed a hole-in-one on the ninth hole at Bernardo Heights Country Club. Next up in the foursome was Kitty Tinker, who matched it. A spokesman for the club confirmed the consecutive aces. A 2000 Golf Digest study calculated the odds of two golfers in the same foursome acing the same hole at 17 million to one.
**Even Tiger Woods has never seen that happen although that hasn't stopped him from trying to sink more than one in the same night before.**
A college student proposed to his girlfriend on a New Jersey Transit bus at New York's Port Authority Bus Terminal. Leora Feigenbaum was on her way home from Manhattan when a Port Authority employee escorted the 20-year-old from the back of the line to the bus. On board, she found flowers, decorations and boyfriend Adam Frohlinger holding an engagement ring. Frohlinger, who is 21, says he picked the bus because he knew it was the last place his girlfriend would expect a proposal.
**Really, do ya think so? I'm sure all girls dream of being proposed to on a bus with the sweet smell of urine hanging in the air and the dazzling array of day old newspapers and garbage lining the floor.**
OK, I never promised my punchlines would be funny.
A 25-year-old Florida man has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for violating his probation by trying to break into the Brevard County jail. Authorities say he tried to climb a 12-foot fence at the Brevard County Detention Center. He was caught and hospitalized with severe cuts from the barbed wire. He had been released a week earlier after accepting a plea deal on a manslaughter charge.
**Is the food really that good in Florida prisons? Either that or he missed some of that sweet sweet inmate lovin'.**
Two golfers at a San Diego area country club sank a most unlikely pair of aces. Charles T. White nailed a hole-in-one on the ninth hole at Bernardo Heights Country Club. Next up in the foursome was Kitty Tinker, who matched it. A spokesman for the club confirmed the consecutive aces. A 2000 Golf Digest study calculated the odds of two golfers in the same foursome acing the same hole at 17 million to one.
**Even Tiger Woods has never seen that happen although that hasn't stopped him from trying to sink more than one in the same night before.**
A college student proposed to his girlfriend on a New Jersey Transit bus at New York's Port Authority Bus Terminal. Leora Feigenbaum was on her way home from Manhattan when a Port Authority employee escorted the 20-year-old from the back of the line to the bus. On board, she found flowers, decorations and boyfriend Adam Frohlinger holding an engagement ring. Frohlinger, who is 21, says he picked the bus because he knew it was the last place his girlfriend would expect a proposal.
**Really, do ya think so? I'm sure all girls dream of being proposed to on a bus with the sweet smell of urine hanging in the air and the dazzling array of day old newspapers and garbage lining the floor.**
OK, I never promised my punchlines would be funny.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
News Oddities for January
I am a news junkie. I have to know what's happening in the news so I can be up to date with current events. But sometimes, being up to date can be awfully depressing. I get tired of reading about murders in Toronto, deaths in Afghanistan and losses in the Gold Medal game by Team Canada. That last one really sucks.
So from time to time I like to read the stories that are a bit more bizarre or offbeat. Here are a few I came across today that you might get a kick out of.
A man who decided to help clear the street with his own push snowblower ended up with a public intoxication ticket. Police in Barrie, Ontario say it was for the man's own protection as he was too intoxicated to operate the machine and was almost struck twice by passing vehicles. Police arrested the 41-year-old man and held him until he was sober. A public intoxication ticket runs $55.
**Wow, that really blows for that guy. He was only going to get a warning until he used the snowblower to send yellow snow flying towards the cops.**
Police are looking for a woman who went on a rampage at a McDonald's in Kansas City because she didn't like her hamburger. Police say the woman caused thousands of dollars in damage when she became upset that the restaurant wouldn't refund her money. Employees had offered to replace her hamburger, but the woman refused and demanded her money back. Police released a video showing the woman throwing a bucket of water over the counter and pushing off a glass display case and three cash registers. She then cursed and fled.
**Did she not realize where she was? Since when was McDonald's food ever considered to be good. I'm usually just happy if it's warm and it wasn't cooked 3 hours before I ordered it.**
More than a dozen Chihuahuas from San Francisco flew in style in the main cabin of a Virgin America flight to new homes in New York. Officials from the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals met the 15 animals at New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport and will help find them homes. Chihuahuas are in abundance at California animal shelters and experts say pop culture is to blame for the overpopulation of the dogs in California, with fans imitating Chihuahua-toting celebrities like Paris Hilton.
**Two of the dogs went missing for a short time on the flight but they were found in the washroom joining the "Mile High Club". One witness said they were doing it People Style.**
So from time to time I like to read the stories that are a bit more bizarre or offbeat. Here are a few I came across today that you might get a kick out of.
A man who decided to help clear the street with his own push snowblower ended up with a public intoxication ticket. Police in Barrie, Ontario say it was for the man's own protection as he was too intoxicated to operate the machine and was almost struck twice by passing vehicles. Police arrested the 41-year-old man and held him until he was sober. A public intoxication ticket runs $55.
**Wow, that really blows for that guy. He was only going to get a warning until he used the snowblower to send yellow snow flying towards the cops.**
Police are looking for a woman who went on a rampage at a McDonald's in Kansas City because she didn't like her hamburger. Police say the woman caused thousands of dollars in damage when she became upset that the restaurant wouldn't refund her money. Employees had offered to replace her hamburger, but the woman refused and demanded her money back. Police released a video showing the woman throwing a bucket of water over the counter and pushing off a glass display case and three cash registers. She then cursed and fled.
**Did she not realize where she was? Since when was McDonald's food ever considered to be good. I'm usually just happy if it's warm and it wasn't cooked 3 hours before I ordered it.**
More than a dozen Chihuahuas from San Francisco flew in style in the main cabin of a Virgin America flight to new homes in New York. Officials from the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals met the 15 animals at New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport and will help find them homes. Chihuahuas are in abundance at California animal shelters and experts say pop culture is to blame for the overpopulation of the dogs in California, with fans imitating Chihuahua-toting celebrities like Paris Hilton.
**Two of the dogs went missing for a short time on the flight but they were found in the washroom joining the "Mile High Club". One witness said they were doing it People Style.**
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
News Oddities
It's amazing how much stupidity there is in the world. From politicians to just your average every day schmucks, the number of people out of touch or just plain out of it never ceases to amaze me. Here are a few stories that you might find amusing. I know I did.
Freddy Lives...Or Not
The Mayor of Zagreb has called for Freddie Mercury to make a comeback gig in the Croatian capital.
Speaking on national television about his musical preferences, Milan Bandic said he wanted to attract rock legends to the city. "I would like to see David Bowie play in Zagreb. And Freddie Mercury could come, too," he said.
Mayor Bandic reportedly seemed shocked to be told that the Queen frontman had died 18 years ago.
The mistake caused shock among many Croatians but Bandic himself shrugged off the gaffe.
Look Before You Eat
A hospital visitor went straight to Emergency after he bit into a cafeteria sandwich - with a dead lizard inside it.
Medics gave him Giuseppe Ferri the all clear at Maceretta hospital, in central Italy, but have launched an investigation into the snack horror.
Ferri said afterward: "I bit into what was supposed to be a cheese and tomato sandwich and was surprised when I tasted something a bit meaty and chewy. I looked down and saw a lizard tail sticking out of the side of the sandwich. I opened it up and saw the dead animal and nearly passed out. It was so disgusting I felt sick."
Caterers say the reptile must have fallen into the machinery at the factory that prepared the sandwiches for the health authority.
Don't Believe Your GPS
A motorist was charged with careless driving after he nearly followed his GPS over the edge of a cliff.
Robert Jones, 43, followed the device as he headed for a friend's house even when it began taking him up a steep, rocky footpath. He finally realised something was seriously wrong when his BMW hit a fence just inches from a 100 foot drop.
Mr Jones said: "I just trusted the GPS. It kept insisting that the path was a road even as it was getting narrower and steeper. I rely on my GPS, I couldn't do without it for my job. I guess I'm lucky the car didn't slip all the way over the edge. But it has been a bit of a nightmare."
It took nine hours for a recovery team to haul the BMW away from the cliff edge. Police confirmed Mr Jones had been charged. A spokesman said: "Nobody was hurt. But when someone nearly drives off a cliff that shows a lack of care which needs to be investigated."
It's stories like these that always make me feel a little better. It's nice to know that even when I might have a bad day or screw something up, there's always someone out there who can still make me look like a genius.
Freddy Lives...Or Not
The Mayor of Zagreb has called for Freddie Mercury to make a comeback gig in the Croatian capital.
Speaking on national television about his musical preferences, Milan Bandic said he wanted to attract rock legends to the city. "I would like to see David Bowie play in Zagreb. And Freddie Mercury could come, too," he said. Mayor Bandic reportedly seemed shocked to be told that the Queen frontman had died 18 years ago.
The mistake caused shock among many Croatians but Bandic himself shrugged off the gaffe.
Look Before You Eat
A hospital visitor went straight to Emergency after he bit into a cafeteria sandwich - with a dead lizard inside it.
Medics gave him Giuseppe Ferri the all clear at Maceretta hospital, in central Italy, but have launched an investigation into the snack horror. Ferri said afterward: "I bit into what was supposed to be a cheese and tomato sandwich and was surprised when I tasted something a bit meaty and chewy. I looked down and saw a lizard tail sticking out of the side of the sandwich. I opened it up and saw the dead animal and nearly passed out. It was so disgusting I felt sick."
Caterers say the reptile must have fallen into the machinery at the factory that prepared the sandwiches for the health authority.
Don't Believe Your GPS
A motorist was charged with careless driving after he nearly followed his GPS over the edge of a cliff.
Robert Jones, 43, followed the device as he headed for a friend's house even when it began taking him up a steep, rocky footpath. He finally realised something was seriously wrong when his BMW hit a fence just inches from a 100 foot drop.Mr Jones said: "I just trusted the GPS. It kept insisting that the path was a road even as it was getting narrower and steeper. I rely on my GPS, I couldn't do without it for my job. I guess I'm lucky the car didn't slip all the way over the edge. But it has been a bit of a nightmare."
It took nine hours for a recovery team to haul the BMW away from the cliff edge. Police confirmed Mr Jones had been charged. A spokesman said: "Nobody was hurt. But when someone nearly drives off a cliff that shows a lack of care which needs to be investigated."
It's stories like these that always make me feel a little better. It's nice to know that even when I might have a bad day or screw something up, there's always someone out there who can still make me look like a genius.
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