Lifting To A Healthier Me

Its been almost two weeks since I joined the local YMCA so I could work out and keep active during the cold winter months and I have to say, so far it's going pretty good.

Not knowing what it would be like I was rather oblivious to the rules, both written and unwritten surrounding life in a gym. Don't get me wrong, it's not a big deal and very reasonable and responsible. The simple things like wiping down machines after you've used them makes total sense. And I like that fact that this place is very clean and well looked after.

I honestly don't see what the big deal is with mobile phones though. They don't like you taking photos or using your phones in the gym. Granted, I realize there are creeps out there but some people rely on their phones for work or to stay in touch with family. I can understand them not wanting photos taken in the pool area, but if I'm working out and want to take a photo of myself using a machine, where's the harm in that? But I know it's easier just to make a blanket rule to ban all mobile phone use so there's no confusion. Truth be told, I see people using their phones all the time. It doesn't bother me in the least, provided you're not snapping shots of me in the shower.

A look at my progress so far.

As far as the actual workouts and exercise goes, I'm pleased with my efforts so far. I've been to the gym every day except one since I joined. I usually do intervals on the treadmill for 30 minutes to start each visit. I'll walk at 6 km/h and jog at 9 km/h, alternating between each one every few minutes. I'll also increase the incline so I'm always going uphill. I try to walk 3.5 kilometres and burn around 360 calories in the 30 minutes. I usually work up quite a sweat.

I'll then move into the strength training portion of my visit. I usually alternate between arms one day and legs the next. I'll also throw in some abdominal, back and shoulder work as well. The first couple of days I felt some pain using muscles I hadn't used in some time but to be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

While I don't have any official routine, I have some favourite machines I use to work the muscles I want to target. Some day in the future I may target more specific areas but I just try to get in a good general workout.

Most days so far I just keep to myself but I have chatted with a couple of friendly and fit ladies and I've also run into a few guys I haven't seen in quite some time. It would be nice to have a regular workout buddy to help push each other but I'm doing pretty well on my own so far.

I'd like to keep going at least 5 days a week and take the weekends to rest if all goes well but of course other things come up that could throw a wrench in those plans. Like my eating, I'm trying to make going to the gym part of my daily routine and plan my days around it. So far it's going well.

Now The Pain Begins

I have mixed feelings today.

I finally bit the bullet, opened my wallet and joined the local YMCA. It's an expense I'd rather not have but it's also something that I don't think I can go without.

Having lost over 150 pounds so far I'm thrilled with my results but simply cutting back on my food intake and walking many kilometres will only do so much. I needed to take that next step towards shaping the new me.

With that knowledge I joined the gym today. I'm not a fan of winter and the cold so this will allow me an opportunity to workout and walk inside. The treadmill is foreign to me but in time I'm sure I'll get a grasp of how to use it.

I've never been a "gym guy" so to speak. This goes back to my late teens when I used to visit another local fitness club semi-regularly and always found it to be kinda snobby. I always felt like people were looking at me and wondering why I was infringing on their gym experience and social group. The truth of the matter is I rarely talked to anyone when I was there other than people I knew or worked out with. So maybe those snobby people thought I was a snob as well. But I certainly didn't come from money like they did. We didn't travel in the same social or economic circles

New Under Armour Workout Gear

But having visited the YMCA a couple of times to check it out before joining I don't think that will be much of a concern. The people I've seen for the most part are just average everyday folks like myself and I think I'll fit right in.

My other concern was something that has always been an issue for me and that's acceptance. By this I mean having people looking at my large body and talking about me or pointing at me. Eventually this stopped bothering me because I stopped caring what others thought. Again, I don't think this will be a problem here. For one thing, I'm not quite as big as I used to be and I think people today in general are more accepting of overweight individuals making an effort to get healthy. The snobs are in the minority now. Kind of like Caucasians in Canada.

Even though its been over 20 years since I last used free weights or did any kind of real weight lifting and exercise of that type, I still remember the pain associated with using muscles I haven't strained in some time. That pain is not something I'm looking forward to but I know that eventually it will pass as I work through it. The thought of not being able to get out of bed without Advil doesn't excite me but what lies beyond that pain threshold does. The results of toning and tightening my ever shrinking and sagging body is something I look forward to.

So what do I hope to achieve?

One thing I don't care about is having big muscles although losing some of the flab and seeing some of the results would be nice. What I really want is to gain strength and hopefully continue to lose body fat both inside around my organs and on the visible surface.

During my walk through the gym today I spotted a couple of fit guys running on the treadmills. I'm a long way from being able to do that but perhaps one day I'll be able to increase the speed of my walk to a jog.

The facility also has a couple of pools which were busy today with it being a Sunday. I'm not sporting much of a beach body but I might be willing to try my hand at a few lengths of the pool if there aren't too many people around to begin with. A few of the girls in bikini's there today seemed comfortable so I suppose eventually I'll get more comfortable at some point.

Now it's just a matter of making the time to get to the gym for an hour or two each day or as often as possible and to begin the next step of my weight loss journey. My hope is that it will eventually become a routine and a regular part of my day that I plan my schedule around. It would be nice to have a workout buddy to help motivate me and keep me honest but I don't know anyone yet. But who knows, maybe I'll meet someone and we'll help push each other to reach our goals. Either way, I'm going to get the job done.

Closing In On My Goal

Time for another quick weight loss update.

After over 25 years of trying and failing to lose weight, this time things are going well.

I was asked by someone, what's the difference this time as opposed to my previous attempts? I don't have a clear cut answer but if I had to try and narrow it down it would probably just be my ability to stick to my plan. It's a simple plan and has worked for me.

1. Limit my daily calorie intake.
2. Remove all regular pop from my diet.
3. Exercise at least 5 days a week.

For the most part I have been able to stick to these three simple goals although I do have the odd day where I will eat a bit more than I should. The difference being that before I would do that and relapse into my old ways. This time if I do mess up I don't let it become a habit again. These changes have become more of a lifestyle change rather than a diet.

Latest progress comparison photo - profile view.

My daily calorie intake that I allow myself is 2000. That's not a lot compared to what I used to eat. The old me could easily eat 5000 or more calories a day. Heck, I could still do it today if I allowed myself to but that's where the willpower comes in. As I said, there are still days that I'll eat slightly more than 2000 calories but as long as I'm close and don't do it every day I can live with it.

I also try to cut out or at the very least cut down on the late night eating. When you work nights and sleep days, that isn't always possible. I'll have supper before I go to work and then I'll have a sandwich and snack at 1am. Not the greatest but it's still better than having fast food for lunch. Plus, you have to eat or your body will try to store fat because it thinks you need it. That's why it's better to eat several small meals and drink lots of water rather than one big meal a day.

The exercise I get is usually just in the form of walking. A typical walk could be anything from 3 to 12 kilometres depending on where I am and how energetic I feel. Plus in the summer I'm back to walking the golf course instead of taking golf carts. I'm proud of the fact that this summer I golfed over 40 times and not once did I rent a golf cart.

I've been talking about joining the local YMCA or a gym but as of yet haven't made that move. I want to but the membership fees have kept me from taking the plunge but I'm leaning towards biting the bullet and taking the financial hit soon. It's not a huge amount but $50 a month is still something I'm not thrilled about spending. But I suppose if I think about how much money I used to spend on fast food each month, it's probably a lot less. Plus, I'm still a big guy and have that big guy mentality that only fit people go to the gym and look down on bigger people. Perhaps times have changed.

As far as eliminating all regular pop from my diet, that was huge. I've talked about it before that I would drink a lot of pop every day and now that I think about how much sugar I was consuming, that change alone has gone a long way towards helping me to try and reach my goal.

And speaking of my goal, I'm getting closer to it. The whole point of this update was to just keep everyone that has been following and supporting my journey towards a healthier me up to date on my progress. So here are the numbers folks:

Starting Weight: 418.8 pounds

Current Weight: 266.4 pounds

Weight Lost To Date: 152.4 pounds

Original Goal: 250 pounds

So I'm only 16.4 pounds away from reaching the original goal I set when I began this quest. I am also now just 4.4 pounds away from reaching my high school football / rugby weight when I played my last year of Senior ball. And for the record, I have no plans to get back into a scrum anytime soon. I don't miss the ear biting and nipple pinching.

Pound by Pound & Inch by Inch

It's been almost a month since my last quick update on my progress in the battle to shrink myself to a respectable size. So I figured I'd take a few moments today to bring you up to speed on where things stand as of today.

The last month I've actually done a pretty good job of staying active and walking almost every day which hasn't necessarily resulted in pleasant results during my visits to the scale but I have been noticing some changes in my body.

I'm still big but my body shape is changing.

For example my thighs have started to shrink. I hadn't measured them in quite some time but the last time I lashed the tape measure around them the other day they had decreased by four inches each. I used to be 32 inches around the thighs and I'm currently at 28 inches and can actually start to see some separation between them which I'm thrilled about. Less chaffing is a good thing. I've always been big in the legs, both my thighs and calves, even as a child so I'm not expecting miracles to happen there but any reduction will be a positive result.

I haven't measured around my waist lately but I can tell you those size 46 jeans I purchased several weeks back are already feeling loose on me and my belt has already had one new hole punched in it and will likely need another one very soon or my pants will be around my ankles as I'm reaching for something on a high shelf at Walmart.

When it comes to my eating, which is what got me in the mess I was in to begin with, every day continues to be a struggle but I win the battle most days. I still limit myself to 2000 calories per day which I think is pretty reasonable. I'm still eating what I like but one thing I have tried to change in my daily routine is not counting my calories burned towards my calorie intake. For example, if I walked 8 kilometres and burned 1000 calories, I would look at that and say I have an extra 1000 calories I can eat that day. So in fact, I would be eating a total of 3000 calories a day instead of my allotted 2000. Now I'm only eating up to or around the 2000 calories a day no matter what I burn exercising. I think this will help aid my weight loss more and hopefully diminish the frequency of plateaus. We'll see how that works.

So where do I stand with my overall weight loss?

My starting weight was 418.8 pounds and as of today's trip to the scale, my current weight stands at 269.5 pounds. That's a total of 149.3 pounds lost so far.

My goal weight when I started was and still is 250 pounds so I'm currently 19.5 pounds away from reaching it. Surprisingly I am also just 7.5 pounds away from getting back to the weight I was when I played high school football many many years ago. I'm thrilled by this progress and the idea of actually attaining my goal but when I began my journey I jokingly stated that I would run naked in the street if I ever reached that goal. My neighbours should be on alert that as I get closer they might want to keep their blinds closed and children inside.

The Weight Loss Wall

As I work to make changes to my lifestyle and eating habits in the attempt to further my downward trend in heftiness, I continue to have a love / hate relationship with my bathroom scale. It's a lovely and quite attractive Weight Watchers digital scale that I purchased at the local Walmart but lately we haven't been getting along.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't put any weight back on. I'm just frustrated because my weight has been remaining as steady as the hands of a brain surgeon. Plateau's happen and I was prepared and fully expected it at some point but for nearly two weeks I've been stuck at 282 pounds.

I'm thrilled by the 136 pounds I've lost so far but for the life of me I can't understand why I'm not budging off this present number. I feel as though I've been exercising plenty and the majority of time I'm at or below my target for daily calorie intake. So I'm perplexed as to what is causing this weight loss wall I'm banging my head and ample bottom against.

I try not to get fixated on the numbers too much and tell myself it will pass. Just keep doing what you're doing and eventually my body will get the message and the weight will start to drop again. That's my hope at least.

Meanwhile I have been noticing some changes to my body shape and size. Is my body just shifting the weight around from one place to another I have to wonder? I'm no expert on the subject but while it's a tad disappointing to be stuck against this wall, it's encouraging to see that the efforts I've been making have made changes to my overall appearance.

I've posted photos of my face before which clearly indicated I was making progress. I've posted photos of me wearing new and smaller sized clothing. I've also tried wearing old clothing that is now several sizes too big for me. These are all indications that the hard work is paying off despite the fact my weight loss has stalled.

Posting photos of me in clothing only shows part of the picture. Today I've posted another photo of my ugly belly. It's taken from the side and is a comparison photo showing my progress over the last six months.

I've posted similar photos before and some people ask me if I'm embarrassed by sharing images like these. To be honest, I don't see why I should be and after years of living in this body and dealing with bullies and people who looked down on me, I eventually realized that I don't care what they think. 

If I don't respect you I don't value your opinion. I accepted who I am and that's all that matters. The rest of them can just bugger off. This is who I was and who I am at this moment. Covering up with bulky clothing in an attempt to hide what's underneath doesn't change anything. I know I'm not some GQ model with ripped abs and chiselled features but I'm still ecstatic with the transformation that has occurred so far.

Click on the image to see it larger

I think it's pretty clear in this photo that the progress in the last six months alone has been significant. My belly is less rounded and the lower stomach is shrunken in more. The fat on my elbow appears to be less and the always popular man boobs have been reduced some.

By no means am I announcing "Mission Accomplished!" In fact, it's the complete opposite. I truly believe, and this darn wall is a good indicator, that the toughest road lies ahead on this journey. I must dig deeper and work harder to reach my goals. The changes I've made to my eating habits and lifestyle have worked wonders but more changes will need to be made and I'm hoping I've started those already.

Anyone that has ever been on a journey like this knows the closer you get to reaching your goals or dreams, the more you'll be challenged and how I react and face those challenges will determine whether I succeed or fail in this life changing and saving endeavour. I will not fail!

It's A Double XL Miracle

Just a quick posting today. I had one of those moments during my weight loss journey that I had to celebrate. As I work my way towards a healthier and longer life by dropping my weight, every now and then I have these moments of big success and little successes.

What would I class as a big success? For me this would include reaching major weight loss goals that I've set for myself. So far I've had a few of those when I reached 400 lbs, 350 lbs, 300 lbs and at the point where I'd lost 100 lbs total. My next big success moment will happen when my weight drops to 250 lbs. I'm confident I'll get there eventually but I'm not in any huge rush.

A little success could be almost anything else. A few that come to mind include adding new holes to my belt as my stomach shrinks, dropping from a 6X shirt to a 3X shirt or as it recently happened, fitting into size 46 jeans and vowing never to need my size 60 jeans ever again.

This past weekend I had another little success. I bought clothes from some place other than the Big & Tall store. Okay, I admit there are times when I've found some clothes at Walmart but they were still size 3X which is nice but not what I would call a normal every day size for clothes.

As I've mentioned before, I hope to get to a fitness club this Autumn and Winter to start toning and lifting weights. It's the logical next step while continuing to try and shed the pounds. So on Sunday after a round of golf I decided it was time to try and find some workout clothes.

I knew what I wanted but didn't have a lot of confidence that they would have the sizes I needed at the local athletic store. I had my mind made up that I really wanted to get some Under Armour clothes. It would be nice to wear something trendy and not created by companies that cater to fat people.

After finding the racks containing the gear I wanted I became worried when the largest sizes they had were 2X. I had my doubts that they would fit. But I figured I was there so I should try them on. At the very least it would give me an idea of how close I was to being able to wear them.

The items I picked out were a 2X loose fit UA Tech short Sleeve T-shirt and a 2X pair of HeatGear Dynasty Vented 6" compression shorts. These are designed to take the place of the old athletic supporter and keep everything in place during exercise. It's more stylish as well. They also prevent chafing and rashes, keep sweat away from the body and are lightweight. They kind of look like cycling shorts except the only extra padding in the rear is courtesy of my own big butt.

Modelling my new fitness clothing that actually fits.

You can imagine how surprised and thrilled I was when I tried them on in the dressing room and found both items fit me. The shorts are a bit snug around the waist but they're supposed to be and feel great. The shirt was the big shock for me. I was amazed at how well it hung on my frame. While I still have a hefty midsection it's clearly no longer protruding as much as it once did.

I got dressed and quickly made my way to the checkout and was thrilled to spend the $70 for these two items. They're cheaper than one pair of work pants I bought recently. I think the biggest surprise of the whole experience was coming to the realization that I had actually bought fitness clothing. What has happened to me?

Bye Bye Belly

So here I am approaching one year since I honestly started to make an effort to shed my massive amounts of fat and reduce the weight I had been carrying around for 20 plus years. Actually, in reality I've been carrying around too much weight most of my entire life. Even as child I was big but after college was when I really started to pack on the pounds.

Fast forward to September 2012 when I decided to give an honest effort to shed some of my excess weight. Topping out at 418 pounds I knew my health and life depended on it. Being as large as I was and having so much weight on my joints I had to ease into the diet. I actually hate calling it a diet as it's more of a lifestyle change but it's just easier to say "diet".

I began reducing my calorie intake per day which automatically reversed my upward trend in weight. I stopped drinking regular pop like Coke and Pepsi which I would easily drink 3-6 cans per day. That equalled a lot of sugar. I switched to diet pop which still isn't ideal but I have no doubt that one move alone was a major factor in getting to a lighter version of myself.

Same jacket fitting differently. Left: 2003 On a cruise. Right: 2013 Too big.

Eventually I got below 400 pounds and began to go for short walks and increase my activity. This continued all winter and my walks gradually got longer and more intense. As my weight continued the downward spiral I would reduce my daily calorie allowance. I would guess at my top weight I was eating well over 5000 calories per day. Today at this current moment I allow myself 2000 calories. If I exercise that will allow me more if I desire it. But to be honest, I have rarely had moments where I felt as though I was starving or ill for lack of food. Sure I have days where I might go over my goal and perhaps eat 100-300 more calories than I would have liked but it balances out because there are days when I might only have 1600 calories.

From time to time and probably more often than I should some cheat meals will take place. I might stop at Tim Horton's and pick up a couple of chocolate chip cookies or I might have lunch at A&W and eat a Papa Burger and fries. But usually when this occurs I will make a point of going for a long walk or go golfing to offset those calories by burning a bunch as well. When it comes to snacking I've really cut down on that vice. My typical night would consist of me sitting in front of the TV watching my beloved Montreal Canadiens playing hockey while devouring an entire large bag of potato chips. Night time snacking is rare for me now but from time to time I will enjoy some chips. The difference is I'll make a bag last 3 or 4 nights or go weeks without any chips at all. I have to allow myself to snack every now and then just to keep my sane.

Whatever I've been doing the last 12 months has worked and eventually I hope to make even more changes. The biggest change I'd like to make is to train myself to eat healthier foods. You know the foods I'm talking about...the food I never eat or hate eating. But if I can learn to like even a few of them and add them to my diet I hope that will propel me to even more success. I'd also like to get a membership at a local fitness club for the winter months. As much as I enjoy walking in the snow and cold, sometimes I just can't will myself out the door to walk on icy roads and sidewalks while braving temperatures of minus 15 or worse.

By joining a gym I also hope to get back to lifting weights and building muscle and toning my body. Believe me, there's plenty to tone. I haven't lifted weights since my days of playing football and rugby in high school. Sadly that's more than a few years ago now.

So as I approach one year of busting my butt to get healthier, I'm proud of the fact that I've lost 136 pounds so far and at the same time I know that losing the next 32 pounds to reach my initial ultimate goal will not be easy. In fact, it might be harder to lose those last 32 pounds than what I lost in the first 12 months but nothing worth having is ever easy and I hope and plan to keep charging ahead with this mission. I may stumble along the way but I won't be denied this if I can help it.

Someone asked me once, "what will you do when you reach your goal?" My usual smartass answer was, "I'm going to run naked downtown to celebrate!" That actually might be a good idea. I hear the food in jail is awful so not eating would help even more. I suppose if and when I reach my long term goal I'll celebrate briefly in some manner and then quickly create another goal to work towards.

Shrinkage Is A Good Thing

I wanted to take a quick moment to give another update on my journey to a thinner and healthier me for those who continue to follow my progress. I promise this won't be a long drawn out affair because it's getting to be late at night and I'm ready to make love to my pillow.

First and update on my weightloss. I am happy to report that I have now lost a total of 135 pounds to date. The progress has slowed some which I expected to happen and I know reaching my long term goal will be a battle I hope to win over the long haul.

The big news for this update centres around my centre so to speak. The all important waistline. This is one of the areas that I hope to continue shrinking not only to look better but for health reasons as well. Other areas I want to shrink badly include my thighs and arms. But this is about my waist.

When I began my journey towards getting healthy and losing weight I was more or less maxed out on the size of pants I could buy locally at the Big & Tall store. The largest size they carried was a 60 waist in any of their clothes. I was able to locate larger sizes in the U.S. but didn't require any at that point as the 60's were still working for me.

Today I decided to try shopping at Walmart for pants rather than the usual store for fat guys. I knew I would still likely be in the 50's at the very least when it came to jeans but I took a chance that they might have some. They didn't.

After a fair bit of time searching through and lifting up the jeans on display to see the different sizes, I came across the largest pair I could find to that point. I didn't have much hope that they would fit but figured it doesn't hurt to zip into the changing room and at least see how close I was to fitting into them.

Surprise! The actually fit me.

I was shocked and pleasantly surprised when I pulled them on, did up the button without having to suck in my gut and zipped the fly. The damn things actually fit!

The young lady must have wondered what the heck was going on when I came out with a big smile on my face. She was probably afraid to go in there. I grabbed a new t-shirt and my new jeans and headed for the checkout.

I left the store with my brand new size 46 jeans and a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. It was a great way to start off my weekend. Dropping from a size 60 to a size 46 was in my plans at some point but I had no idea it would happen that fast. Now I just have to get them hemmed since the legs are about eight inches too long for my short legs. Sadly there isn't any plan I know of that will allow me to increase my height. Not yet at least.

Regaining My Life

As I travel down this weight-loss road I continue to receive amazing support from so many friends and family. Even complete strangers who know me have made comments about the changes they've seen in my appearance. Feed back like that does two things for me. It makes me feel great knowing that all of the hard work, exercise and changes I've made to my lifestyle are making a difference. It also motivates me to keep going because while I don't want to let myself down, I also feel as though I'd be letting a lot of other people down as well.

I've also heard from so many people following my journey, witnessing what I've accomplished and continue to strive for and they come to the realization that they can also make the changes necessary to work towards their own weight-loss goals. By no means did I set out to become a role model of any kind but I will certainly take that as a compliment.

If my updates here and on Facebook ignite something in you or give you hope then I only feel that much better about what I'm doing. Believe me when I say the encouragement I've received can never be repaid. It has propelled me in the right direction towards a healthier me. My life will only be richer if more of my friends feel motivated to make changes to ensure they're around for many more years as well.

Before I talk about the changes I've noticed so far since I began dropping the pounds, let me give you a quick update on where I stand.

Starting Weight: 418.8 pounds

Current Weight: 289.7 pounds

Weight Lost To Date: 129.1 pounds

Next Goal: 260 pounds

Can you see a difference? I think progress is being made.

So as you can see, it's going pretty well. I think if you look at the comparison photo I posted of my stomach you can clearly notice how much it has shrunk so far. I admit it looks ugly with the skin getting loose and sagging at the bottom of the belly but after a lifetime of obesity and in recent years having the skin stretch the furthest it ever had, asking it to tighten up quickly is probably a pipe dream. But hopefully as I continue to shed the weight, I'll hit the gym this fall and start lifting weights and exercising to tone all of my problem areas. Trust me, I have plenty of those. My biggest concerns are the stomach, arms and thighs. I've always had huge thighs so anything I can do to shrink them down would be a bonus.

So let me get back to my original idea for this blog update, which is to mention a few of the changes I've noticed in my day to day life. These are things that all healthy people take for granted and might not even consider an issue for people who are overweight.

WALKING - It doesn't sound like much but if you've ever watched an obese person walk, it almost looks painful. In many cases it is. That's a lot of weight on the ankles and joints. For me I hated walking prior to dropping some pounds. Just the thought of having to walk put me in a bad mood because I knew even if I made it to where I was going, I would almost certainly pay for it the next day with a lot of pain. Today, I went for a 4km brisk walk and felt great. The only pain I have is in my right foot which suffered a lot of minor fractures over the years from supporting so much weight. But it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be. And my ankles feel fantastic. I had to give up a job working at a good friends golf course because my ankles couldn't handle working on the hills and uneven ground. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be the case today.

RESTAURANTS - You're probably thinking, "what the heck could the issue be in restaurants?" Imagine being a size 60+ waist and having to squeeze into a booth. It can't be done. That was the dilemma I was faced with every time I went out to eat with family. I know this annoyed some people because there would be booths open and the hostess could have seated us but because of me and my girth, we were forced to wait until a table with chairs came open. And if all they had were booths and they weren't big enough to accommodate me, then I had to go to a different place. I recall one time at a local place in Brighton there was only a booth available and the owner said she could place a chair at the end of the table for me. While I'm sure she thought she was helping, I was insulted and humiliated. I didn't want to be sitting out in a traffic area with patrons and waitresses trying to manoeuvre around me. I was already a big target for insults and stares, I didn't need a flashing neon arrow pointing at me saying, "Look at this fat bastard who can't fit in the booth!" Now, while I still prefer tables and chairs, I have found some restaurants where I couldn't sit on the bench or in a booth before, I can now. And in some others I can at least make it work. Hopefully in the near future this won't even be an issue for me.

I was offered a job at Sea World in 2007.

DRIVING - This was more of a minor annoyance than anything else. As you can imagine the problem was fitting my stomach behind the wheel of the car or truck. When I bought my last car in 2007, I had to purchase a vehicle based on which one actually allowed me to drive it without having to steer with my belly. There were other vehicles I liked better but they just weren't an option. Today, I have plenty of room behind that same wheel and I've driven other vehicles that I used to rub against but now have lots of space to work. I look forward to getting my next mode of transportation. Maybe I'll get a Mini Cooper.

SHOWERING - Do you have any idea how difficult it is to shower when you can't reach every nook and cranny? I like to be clean and sometimes this was difficult to achieve properly when I was larger than I am now. I'm happy to report today that I am spic & span from top to bottom and all places in between. Also, some showers just aren't as roomy as others. I remember trying to shower on a cruise and spent more time bouncing off the walls as the ship rocked on the waves.

BATHROOM - I'll spare you the details. Lets just say I found some interesting ways to complete the job. This is something we deal with several times a day and most people wouldn't even give it consideration. I often thought about trying to invent something to assist obese people in similar situations. But I'll leave that up to someone more creative.

DRESSING - Again, this is something we have to do every day unless we vacation in a nude resort. When was the last time you got winded putting on socks or tying your shoe laces? I'm ashamed to admit this was the case at times. Straining to reach my feet was made all the more difficult with a huge belly in the way. Lifting my legs up to get my underwear or pants on was also a challenge at times. I could get the leg up but only keep it there momentarily and had to work quickly to try and get the leg of my pants under my foot to slide them on. It wasn't a pretty sight. It's not even an issue today.

CLOTHING - Along the same lines as dressing is trying to purchase clothes that fit. There is only one Big & Tall store in the area and unless you've stepped inside one you have no idea how expensive it is to buy clothing for large people. In fact, it's so bad here, I usually make two or three trips to the Casual Male location near my brothers place in Florida when I visit. Not only can I get clothes that fit and are cheaper but they have a much wider variety and nicer styles. The only bad thing so far with losing weight, other than not eating as much, is having a bunch of new clothes that I bought a year and a half ago that are now way too big for me. I bought a golf jacket that's a 6X and only wore it once. It's like a tent on me now. At this point I'd need a 3X and I'm almost into 2X size clothing. But it's a small price to pay to not have to spend a small fortune on a pair of pants or a new shirt.

Again, these are the challenges of being obese and I see people every day who I know struggle with the same things I did. That's right, I said "did." I'm thrilled by the little things now that have changed in my every day life that I have no doubt you wouldn't even bat an eye at. My goals are still a lot of hard work away but knowing how much I've accomplished so far will make achieving that goal easier. Not because it will be easy or because I'll get to my next goal quickly. It will be easier because I feel like a whole new person inside and out.

Losing Weight is Hard Work

The changes are happening slowly.

Its been over a month since I last posted anything on my blog so I figured it's probably time to give an update on how my battle against all things fatty and tasty are going.

I'm posting some photos here that are slightly embarrassing but I think they'll illustrate where I've come from and how I'm progressing. I've made a point of documenting my progress to have a visual reference of the transformation. I've never been comfortable in my own massive skin but I want to be as open and honest about this journey as possible and I'm glad so many people are taking the trip with me and supporting me.

June 2007 - Likely heavier than 418 lbs.

My progress is continuing nicely
although some weeks I do seem to run into a brick wall and my dropping weight stalls. I guess this is normal as my body continues to adjust to the changes taking place but I will admit it's frustrating stepping on the scale and not seeing the results I think should be looking up at me.

But I continue to make an effort to improve my life and my health by eating less and exercising more. I try to get in at least four types of cardio exercise each week. This could be anything from a three hour round of golf to a 30 minute walk around the neighbourhood. I feel if I can continue to stay vigilant of my food intake and keep burning calories on a regular basis, positive results will happen.

A good college and radio friend of mine wanted to know what changes I've made to my diet and if I've embraced new and healthier foods that I wouldn't have normally eaten in the past. To answer your question Scott (Freddy), I'm still pretty much eating the same foods I used to eat when I weighed 418 pounds. The difference of course is that I'm not eating nearly as much of it even though some days I really want to.

On July 3, 2013 I finally dropped below 300 lbs.

When I sat down with my Dietician we discussed the foods I like to eat and what I don't like to eat. It became clear to her that I was a very picky eater who frowns on most "healthy" foods. I will eat a salad if I go out for supper but I'm not a big veggie connoisseur. That isn't to say I'm not going to try and make some changes. In fact, I have tried some different foods but the bottom line is, if I don't like it I'm not going to force myself to eat it. She eventually talked me into eating smaller portions of the foods I like which most days I have no trouble doing. 

Fruits are not something I enjoy at all. I wish I did like them because that would make finding healthy snacks much easier. Instead, I usually end up not having snacks or only on rare occasions and certainly not something that would be considered healthy. Lets just say it's a work in progress and I hope to make more changes at some point.

Wearing a ball jacket that hadn't fit for 20 years.

I mentioned in the past that I switched from regular pop to diet pop to eliminate the calories and sugar but now I'm reading that diet pop can be just as bad for you. I'm going to stick with it for now until I can find something that will take its place. I like drinking water but I can't just drink water. Maybe I should just drink water and Molson 67 beer from now on. It's only 67 calories ya know.

One thing that I'm quite proud of is how I've kept my promise to myself to exercise. When I first started this journey to a new me I thought I'd probably exercise twice a week for maybe 10 minutes but I've been doing much more than that. One thing that's helped me to be more active like I was 20 years ago was dropping the weight. That's right, I had to lose weight in order to be more active and lose even more. The more weight I lose, the more energy I seem to have and the more willing I am to get out and wear out my running shoes. I enjoy my walks and if sweating is a sign of progress than I've been making plenty of progress this summer. And between you and me, I think losing weight makes you feel more horny. Maybe it's more testosterone or something. I'll have to do more research on that. I just need to find a research partner. 

So where do I stand on my road to a new and improved me you might be wondering. As I mentioned previously, my goal was to get below 300 pounds by my birthday on July 17th. I'm happy to report that I was able to reach that goal two weeks ahead of schedule.

It may look ugly but my stomach is shrinking.

My starting weight was 418 pounds. My current weight as of today is 295 pounds. That gives me a total weight loss of 123 pounds so far after working at it in earnest for 10 months.

I fully expect the amount of weight and the ease in which I lose it to slow down and I'm okay with that. The way I feel now compared to a year ago is like night and day. If I didn't lose another pound I wouldn't be happy but with the daily aches and pains I grew accustomed to and endured for all those years now gone I feel so much happier about myself.

But my hope is to continue to shed as much weight as I can and hopefully find myself in a gym this winter lifting weights and toning the now sagging skin that is developing from losing the fat. At my age and after decades of abuse my body just won't bounce back like other people I see. At least not quickly.

I'll never have six-pack abs or tightly toned legs, butt or arms, however I'd like to get to the point where I don't step out of the shower and scare myself. It would be nice to look in the mirror one day and say, "damn, where have you been all my life?"

It's Either Gravy or the Grave

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to take one look at me and know I'm overweight. Okay, not just overweight, I'm freaking obese. No point in sugar coating it.

I don't know if it's hereditary or what but even as a young boy I was "big boned". I hate that term so I'm just going to use the word fat from here on in. I was called fat all my life so it must be the right word to use. And by the way, just a note to those who called me fat behind my back growing up, I know who you are and I've never forgotten. I guess you could say I'm like an elephant. Insert your own joke there.

Me at my heaviest. Christmas 2009

But this isn't about who I was. This is about who I hope to be and in fact, who I am becoming. Now I have no grand illusions about what my future holds. I never have been thin and I never will be but I am trying to get healthier. I'm 45 this year and I would like nothing better than to be around in another 20-30 years see my niece get married and be in good enough shape that I don't require a forklift to load me on to the plane to get there.

I've had nothing but bad luck with diets in the past so I try to avoid using that word. What I'm doing isn't really a "diet" it's more of a lifestyle change. And that is not something I ever thought I'd be able to do.

Food is a weakness of mine. I love food. Even more to the point, I love food that is not good for me. Potatoes, bread, pizza, fast food...you know the yummy goodness of which I'm referring to. I like all the foods that are usually forbidden on any weight-loss plan. Long story short, I love those fatty calorie filled goodies but obviously they don't like me. Correction...the amount that passes by my lips disagrees with me. And sadly I'm a finicky eater which means either I eat what I like or I don't eat at all.

This brings me to the situation that I was confronted with in the Fall of 2012. After having been diagnosed as a diabetic in March of that same year I knew that unless I made some kind of change to my eating habits and lifestyle it was possible that body parts might soon be surgically removed from my body until I eventually found myself with only a head and a big fat torso.

My doctor recommended to me that I was a prime candidate for gastric bypass surgery. And while I've never ruled that out, it wasn't something I was willing to do right away. I wanted to try and lose weight on my own. It's not that I'm afraid of the operation. I know people who have had it done and they've lost a great amount of weight and their lives have drastically improved. I just felt I could find enough will power inside of me to get the job done and at the very least get to a more manageable weight.

I've always been active in sports but in recent years my weight gain has pretty much ended that. All except golfing but even there I was forced to use a motorized golf cart to get me around the course instead of walking due to the pain associated with walking. My ankles and other joints would ache for days. But back to my original train of thought.

When I played football in high school I weighed 260 pounds. That's pretty big but I was a solid and well proportioned 260. I could run short distances pretty quickly. I played baseball 5-6 nights a week in my 20's but all the time I kept adding on the pounds. Fast forward to 2011. I hadn't been to my doctor in years except to be diagnosed with Sleep Apnea, another common condition for obese people. I also hadn't weighed myself in nearly 20 years so I had no idea what damage had been done from the decades of overeating and the sedentary lifestyle I had adopted simply because I didn't like being sore from getting exercise.

One day on a job site I spotted an industrial scale used to weigh large heavy loads before they were packed into trucks for shipping. I knew most household scales would be useless for me at this point. I knew I wasn't going to like the results if I stepped on but the curiosity was killing me. I had to know what damage I had done. Lets face it, nobody ever looks in the mirror and actually sees what others see. I stepped on expecting it to come back with a shocking reading of something like 350 pounds or so. My heart nearly stopped when the reading settled on 420 pounds. That wasn't possible I thought, but the numbers didn't lie.

Heaviest weight in August 2009

The next day I started trying to eat better and smarter but as in the past, it didn't last long and I fell back into my old habits. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with the diabetes and knowing what that can lead to that I realized this was my life I was wasting and possibly eating away. I had to make a change or at the very least die trying.

I began my changing immediately. It wasn't easy and I had to ease into it because the damage had been done and in order to get active and walking again I had to lose some initial weight. And I did. By the Fall of 2012 I was starting to walk short distances and eventually several kilometres at a time working up a good sweat and getting my heart rate up enough to start burning calories. I won't lie and say my food choices changed much but I did make some changes.

The biggest change I made was to stop drinking regular Coke and Pepsi. I would drink a lot every day. I didn't like the switch to diet pop but I have acquired a taste for it now. The foods I eat for meals are more or less the same however instead of filling my plate up 2 or 3 times for supper I'll fill it once and maybe get a tiny bit more if I haven't had much else during the day. I've cut way back on my night time snacking as well which I know has had a major impact on things. I've also started using the MyFitnessPal App on my iPad and iPhone to track everything that I eat and drink each day. I only allow myself a certain number of calories which allows my body to change and shed the pounds.

Along with the change in my eating I've also been walking regularly. I have another app called MapMyWalk which uses GPS and calculations based on my age and weight to determine how many calories I burn during my walks. I can see maps of where I've been and how many calories I burned during my trip. These two apps have really proven to be great motivators for me.

Left: December 2009             Right: May 2013

So where do I stand you might be wondering after starting at 418 pounds and feeling like there was no hope of ever breaking out of a nose dive towards an early death? As of today, eight months into an honest effort towards weight-loss, I am sitting at 321 pounds. I'm happy with what I've achieved so far but still not satisfied with my weight. I'm approaching the 100 pound milestone and mini-goal I set for myself. Ultimately I'd like to lose as much as I can but the goal I set for myself when I began was to try and get below my football playing weight. My goal is 250 pounds. If I'm able to make that weight, I'm sure I'll set a new goal. But I don't want to get ahead of myself. I take it day by day and week by week.

I feel great walking and I no longer ride a cart when I'm golfing. I walk the course and carry my clubs. Sure when I climb the big hills I get huffing and puffing but everyone does and it's a good sign that I'm working my body, raising my heart-rate and dropping more calories. Best of all, the feeling I get every time I finish a round of golf knowing that where I was just a year ago, gives me a great sense of pride in myself.

So here I sit feeling healthier and lighter but my journey is long from over. My diabetes is under control with my lowest blood sugar readings ever and my aches and pains are no longer weight related; they're exercise related. While I'm still single I hold on to the hope that perhaps the changes I'm making will eventually lead to some new relationship down the road. Every day is a challenge but I've had a lot of wonderful support from family, friends and even complete strangers. I know that I can get the job done. After all, my life depends on it.