I envy those of you who can jump into bed before 1:00 in the morning and go to sleep. However, you are really missing out on some quality entertainment.
I am not blessed with the ability to put head to pillow that early. Of course my current job has a lot to do with that since I work mostly graveyard shifts and my work day usually starts at 11pm and ends at 7am. Yes, while you're dreaming away the night, I'm at work. Of course that isn't a bad thing since I like being awake at night and enjoy having the afternoon's to do what I like and the evening's as well to golf or whatever.
The only real downside to staying awake all night is the quality of television and radio that is provided. I could listen to the radio but I don't care for a lot of the music that they play on most of the local stations except for one. And the fact that I used to work for one company and they screwed me over has left a bitter taste in my mouth. Even that has certainly lost some of its bitterness. I guess time really does heal all wounds. Of course I'd still like to have a chat with a couple of people.
The one thing I really hate about late night local radio in 2006 (and for the last 8 years or more) is that there are no live announcers on in the evening or overnight on most of them. It's all automated and if you do hear a voice, it was recorded earlier in the day by someone working at one of the other stations in the company. In fact, when I started in radio in 1992, we had five full-time announcers and we were live 24-hours a day. When I was "laid off", the station only had two full-time announcers and was automated between 6pm and 6am weekdays and even more so on weekends. The need to make money means more than providing quality programming. All storms, disasters or urgent events had better happen before 6pm or you won't hear about it until the next morning. You might as well just buy the newspaper.
Television isn't much better when it comes to entertainment. After Letterman, Leno, Conan or Stewart, the pickings become pretty slim if you don't have a bunch of specialty channels. Sure I can always watch CNN, TSN or Sportsnet but you can only watch the highlights so many times. Everything else is reruns of Raymond, Seinfeld, Friends or Drew Carey until 2am.
Now after 2am is when the really good stuff comes on. I just can't watch the "Little Giant" ladder infomercial enough times. If you are dieing to get your hands on a new amazing food processor, miracle oven, zit cream remedy or you just want to become your own boss and a millionaire, you should stay up late.
Of course the real people being catered to late at night are the single, lonely, sexually frustrated men sitting on their couches. And yes, maybe I am one of those guys but it hasn't been confirmed yet. No, nothing beats the sexually suggestive videos of scantily clad women playing by the pool, spreading themselves across rocks or lounging on expensive yachts. Just call the 1-900 number on the screen, empty your bank account and you can talk to some of the sexy women just like the one's on the TV. Call now and talk live with these girls...or some 50-year old mom pretending to be a hot 20-something boy toy.
Someone please tell me, where is this place that 12 women are lying around half-naked on a fur covered bed begging for guys to call because they're lonely and need someone to talk to? Tell me please and I'll take the money I would have wasted on a phone call and use it for gas to drive there and join them on the bed.
I really get a kick out of the girls on the boats. Here they have these women in bikinis on the front of the boat talking on phones that look like they're 20 years old. The phones have cords attached to them and even though I don't own a vessel full of hot babes, I'm pretty sure the phone company won't run a phone line to a boat in the middle of the bay. And maybe I'm just being picky, but could someone please give these girls a dental plan.
So as you can see, the entertainment provided to those of us blessed with a work schedule a little out of the norm or those who just can't sleep at night really leaves a lot to be desired. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a cute redhead in a string bikini that needs me to call her for a good time. Come to daddy.
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