The following is a true story and sad story told to me of a long time friend of mine. The names of been changed to protect their privacy.
Growing up, every summer beginning as a newborn, my parents would pack up the car and we’d be off camping at Presqu’ile Provincial Park. These vacations were a highlight and to this day hold some of my favourite memories as a child.
While camping there we met and became friends with a family from Pennsylvania, the Anderson's, and our vacations would be planned so we would be there at the same time. They had several children who were older than me but I would spend a lot of time hanging out with them from the time I was 10 until I was in my teens. To this day some of them still come up to camp although their parents have long since passed on.
They convinced a friend of theirs to make the trip north in the late 70’s. His name is Bubba. Well, that’s what he went by. If anyone spoke his real name he didn’t appreciate it much. Bubba had such a good time that trip that he too decided to visit us every summer as well.
One year, Bubba brought his girlfriend Noreen up with him and they decided to get married while they were here.
We all helped to organize a little reception for them at the campsite after they returned from the Justice of the Peace. It was such a happy occasion surrounded by their friends and they’re still together to this day.
Time passed and Bubba and Noreen would always make the trip across the border to celebrate their anniversary at their favourite camping spot and I always made a point to visit them for a beer and maybe some card playing.
This continued up until about five years ago when we stopped seeing them and heard nothing from them. We knew Bubba had retired but as far as we were concerned all was okay, they just weren’t able to get away for some reason. Sadly, even in this day and age we didn’t even have an email address to contact them.
Fast forward to this fall when one of the Anderson boys showed up at the park again for some Fall camping. He gave us the scoop on what had happened to Bubba and why we hadn’t seen them in years.
Bubba enjoyed hunting. One day he grabbed his gun and ammo and decided to trek into the wilderness of Pennsylvania by himself. He’d done this before and he always went well off the beaten path where he’d never see another human, only wildlife.
This excursion began like so many before but eventually took an unforeseen and scary turn. It was during this trip that Bubba became ill.
He started to feel odd and eventually collapsed on the spot. I can’t even imagine the panic that must have been going through his mind. He was unable to stand or walk. He lost all use of his legs and any chance to get out of a hopeless situation. It was quite likely that where he sat was where he’d die.
Things were bleak to say the least. Bubba’s only hope was to fire off his gun and hope that someone would hear it and find him. The chances of him being found in time or that anyone would hear the gunshots or cries for help were bleak and he knew this. He loaded and discharged his weapon repeatedly most of the afternoon with no luck. As his ammo was getting low, he made the horrible choice to save one bullet for himself. If it came down to freezing to death or being lost forever in the hills of Pennsylvania, he decided that he’d rather end his life on his own terms.
It was looking more and more like his only remaining option would be to use that final bullet. The sun was setting, the temperature was dropping and not surprisingly he hadn’t seen or heard anyone the entire day. All of a sudden as if God had heard his prayers, someone emerged out of the bush right where he had collapsed. This was unheard of. In all the years hunting this area, Bubba had never encountered a single soul. But to his amazement, standing before him was his saviour.
Immediately the call went out to rescue him. Search and Rescue were scrambled and located him deep in the forest propped up against a rock and unable to move. Bubba was placed on a helicopter and air lifted to a hospital where it was eventually determined he'd had a serious stroke.
To this day, I'm told, he has been unable to regain the use of his legs and remains paralyzed from the waist down. His life is changed forever but he has his life thanks to a bullet he never used and miracle he never expected.
I posted a blog earlier today and after some reflection and some wise and loving words from my girlfriend, I realized the post wasn’t really me . Okay, it was me who wrote the words but they didn’t truly reflect my feelings and my life right now. I was, for lack of a better term, a real asshole. And if there’s one thing I’ve prided myself on, it’s being a good person and respecting everyone who shows me the same love and respect in return. So I deleted the blog.
I think most of us reach a point in our lives where we can reflect on things and appreciate the good and block out the negativity. It comes with age and wisdom.
As kids, we would let peer pressure seep in and rule our feelings and actions and then one day you wake up and you no longer allow others to dictate who you’re going to be. You can choose to hate the world and everyone around you and isolate yourself. Or you can embrace life, appreciate the people who touch your lives daily and choose to love the people who truly mean the world to you.
Bitterness can be an evil thing if you allow it to take over your life. Lord knows we’ve all had things happen through our lives where we could have allowed it to blacken our hearts or force you to put up walls. I feel sorry for those people who shut themselves off and are afraid to love and be loved. Or maybe they spend life being alone. I guess it could be possible for these people to be truly happy when they’re alone and miserable but that just seems horrible to me.
I’ve known disappointment, anger, pain, sadness and pretty much all of the good and bad feelings a lifetime can bring and yet I choose to remain optimistic, cheerful, friendly and loving because I know that it’s all a part of this short life we have.
Whether you live 100 years or something significantly less, it’s important to not waste the time you have.
Appreciate the people you have in your life and those you have met along the way. Life can bring you bad times but how you react to those obstacles and move ahead determines how you’ll move forward.
I see people walking around looking straight ahead, afraid to make eye contact, not willing to share a friendly greeting, smile or so much as a nod hello and I feel sorry for them. I suppose that’s their right but it just feels like an awful waste. When I’m out and about I may be having a bad day but I still manage to give a smile, wave or hello with those I meet.
I think it’s important to surround yourself with people who annoy you, challenge you, inspire you, appreciate you and most of all care about you. I try to do that every day.
Thank you Lee for reminding me what’s most important. I have a loving girlfriend, a family that has supported me throughout my life and will be there whenever I need them. And while I don’t have many close friends, I have a throng of supporting and caring people who are always willing to accept me for who I am and share in my life. I appreciate all of you who have touched my life and shaped me, even in some small way.
If you live in Canada or follow the hockey world you most likely have heard about Donald Sanderson.
Don was a 21-year-old young man who lost his life early this morning at Hamilton General Hospital after succumbing to his injuries sustained during a hockey game in December while playing for the Whitby Dunlops Senior "A" team.
Following a fight with one of his opponents he banged his head off the ice and slipped into a coma. While many opportunists are using his passing to further their own agendas regarding fighting in hockey or how helmets should be improved, I think it's more important to remember who Don was. There will be plenty of time to debate hockey safety in the weeks and months ahead.I'm proud to say that Don was a friend of mine. Our friendship stemmed from our love for the game of hockey and the hours we spent at the arena during his time with the Trenton Sting Junior "A" Hockey team.
While I was nearly 20 years older than Don, we seemed to grow on one another rather quickly when he arrived to become a part of our hockey club. I can still remember his very first practice and the immediate impact he brought to the ice. In fact, the impact was mostly him laying out his own team-mates who were taking the practice too lightly. Some of the boys came over and complained to me at the bench but I just told them that this is the time we use to prepare for real games and if you can't take a hit now, how will you be able to handle it when it matters.
It's fair to say, I liked Don right away. When he came to the bench and we talked for the first time, I told him to just keep doing what he's doing and he'll stick with the team.
When I got to the rink for practices or games, Don was always serious about the task at hand but never shied away from a chance to converse about life and hockey. We had some good debates about the Leafs and the Habs while sitting in the medical room. We'd chat during breaks in practice on the bench and even during games when Don was assessed a penalty...and that was quite often as I recall...we'd share a few laughs as I was in the timekeepers box as the games official scorer.
During a trip to Boston where our team competed in the Chowder Cup, Don and I along with several other players made the long and hot trek across the city, up and down Beacon Hill by Boston Common to visit the original Cheers restaurant. As a big guy I was dragging my butt in the sweltering heat but Don stayed with me as we trudged our way back to meet the rest of the team at Boston Market.(Don is in the back row of the photo with the hat on)
Don was a winner. He demanded the best of himself and his team-mates. I recall a couple of conversations with Don being frustrated when he felt some of the guys on the team weren't pulling their own weight. I'm pretty sure after we talked he went into the dressing room and voiced his opinions. His fellow team members could never deny Donnie's desire to win and succeed.
After Don left Trenton we didn't chat nearly enough but he did make a point to keep in touch via the online Facebook community. As I look back and read one of his last messages to me, it's easy to see that Don was a very mature young man who appreciated everything and everyone in his life.
His message to me read, "Thanks for the support while i played in trenton...people like you are what make us players able to play because of your support. take care DON".
Be at peace Don. Rest easy my friend.
(You can click on the photos to see them larger)
I just wanted to take a moment to wish all of you who visit my Blog and all my family and friends a Very Happy Thanksgiving.
I figured I'd better post this now before I have my big meal on Sunday night. I have a feeling I'll be eating so much that my fingers might get too fat to punch the letters on my keyboard.
It's this time of year when we start to think about what we are truly thankful for and with my life going through some difficult times the last year I thought it would be hard to find anything to be thankful about.
The truth is, I'm very thankful for the love of my family who mean everything to me. Although I knew it all along they've proven that they really are there for me when I need them.
And I'm thankful for the friends I've had through the years and today. They've made life much more interesting and worth living.
And considering the hell I've put my body through for the last 37 years, I'm very thankful for my health. You'd never no it by looking at me but I'm not doing too bad for a guy like me. It's amazing how the right amount of medication will take away the pain.
I hope you all have as much to be thankful for as I do.
