Learn To Drive Will Ya!

I don’t think I’m telling you something you didn’t already know when I say that there are a lot of really bad drivers on the road. It’s not that they can’t keep their vehicle on the street; they just don’t know the rules of the road.

The simplest rules are forgotten most often and unfortunately this lack of knowledge or the sheer lack of common sense of some road warriors will be the cause of many accidents.

Now, I’m not about to make this a male versus female issue even though the majority of the offenders in my experience are women. While that may be the case, men and young drivers are just as guilty.

I’m also not going to harp on those with a lead foot. I myself have been known to creep over the speed limit from time to time, especially on the highway. The fact that I think the speed limit on the major highways should be raised from 100 to 120 kilometres per hour is just my opinion. I love to travel in the U.S. because the speed limits on the Interstates are higher than they are here in Canada and you can actually get where you’re going in much better time. Not to mention the traffic seems to flow better as well for some reason.

This discussion I am more concerned with some simple regulations of the road that people just don’t have a grasp of and I’d rather see the police start ticketing these individuals rather than someone who is 10 or 15 km’s over the limit. So here are my current driving pet peeves:

1. Turning into the Wrong Lane at an Intersection
I’m sure you’ve all seen this before and this one drives me crazy. Picture yourself sitting at a stop light waiting to turn left onto a four lane road (two lanes in each direction). There is also a car waiting across the intersection facing you waiting to turn right to travel in the same direction as you. The light turns green. What should the drivers do? According to the law you each turn into the closest lane. That means you turn left into the passing lane while the car facing you turns right into the curb lane. That’s how it should work but I would say nine times out of ten one of the cars cuts across into the far lane cutting me off. At this point my horn, hand gestures and foul mouth all go into action. Where are the police when you need them?

2. Driving in the Passing Lane
This one really steams me sometimes, especially when the car is going slow. Once again you’re traveling down a four lane road. The right lane is the driving lane and the left is the passing lane. I know this might come as a shock to some, but they call it the passing lane for a reason. You go out there to pass someone and then you pull back over to the right into the driving lane and continue. You don’t stay out there and keep putting along. The folks who really tick me off are the people who stay in the passing lane because they’re eventually going to turn left onto another road. Get the hell over until you’re almost at your turn. Surely to goodness you can change lanes half a kilometre away. You don’t need to drive 5km in the passing lane before you turn. Where are the police when you need them?

3. Passing on the Right
Along the lines of the last one, possibly as a result of someone driving in the passing lane you may have to pass on the right if they’re going too slow in the wrong lane. That is the only time I condone this. However, recently I was coming to a stop light in town and was preparing to make a left turn. Some asshole in a truck came flying up beside me on the right and swerved in front of me cutting me off and jammed on the brakes for the light. I was pissed off to say the least. So for the remainder of the light, I had one hand on the horn and the other flipping the bird. Road rage? Perhaps. Pointless? Also perhaps but it makes me feel better and in a situation like that, that’s all I care about. Where are the police when you need them?

By the way, I have to give thanks to my brother for teaching me to use the horn. He does it all the time in Florida. Maybe it’s an American thing. It accomplishes nothing but it feels so much better to help release the anger. After all, like the Hulk, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

4. Merging Into Traffic…You Don’t Have the Right of Way
I see this all the time as I’m traveling along the 401 highway. I’ll be motoring along in the driving lane (right lane) and as I approach an area where traffic can enter the highway I can see cars preparing to merge onto the motorway. Normally most drivers would move over to the left passing lane and allow those cars entering the highway an easier and clear spot for them to do so. However, sometimes the traffic is thick and you can’t move over. These idiots feel that they have the right of way to merge when actually they don’t. They will force their way on to the highway and nearly cause an accident or at the bare minimum make the oncoming traffic hit the brakes to avoid them. What they should have done is waited for the traffic to pass and the lane to clear before proceeding. They do NOT have the right of way. Where are the police when you need them?

5. Not Using the Ramp to Accelerate to Speed
Going hand in hand with number four is this one. Drivers who instead of using the on ramp to get up to speed before entering traffic, merge immediately while only doing half the speed they should be. Meanwhile, the traffic coming up behind this “tool” is forced to weave around or brake to avoid hitting said “tool.” Use the damn on ramp for its intended purpose. They make it long for a reason. Where are the police when you need them?

6. Approaching an Intersection with the Stop Lights Out
Finally I come to one that is near the top of my list of most annoying ignorant driver screw-ups. This has been a common one this summer as we’ve had a number of storms that have caused power outages at intersections. As you approach an intersection and you notice that the power to the stop lights has been interrupted and they aren’t working, what should you do? In this case you don’t just go flying through the lights if you happen to be travelling along the busier road. That’s a great way to cause an accident. Instead, you treat the intersection as a Four Way Stop.

That’s right; you must come to a complete stop and allow the car or cars to the right of you that were at the intersection first to proceed before you continue your journey. It’s really quite simple but once again, we have a lot of people driving today that either have forgotten what they learned or just don’t care and that’s why people are dying on our roads. Where are the police when you need then?

People can talk about drivers using cell phones or speeders causing accidents. I won’t deny that those situations can lead to fender benders or worse but I bet there are just as many accidents caused by people who don’t know the rules of the road rather than by those who choose not to follow the rules.

If any of the above situations sound like something you may be guilty of, I hope I’ve helped to refresh your memory and perhaps next time you find yourself in one of these situations, you’ll remember to do things properly. Happy Driving!

Oh, and to answer the question I kept asking about the police…check a Tim Horton’s parking lot.

Clip of the Week - July 14/08

Attention all owners of trailers, motor homes or any high profile vehicle. It is always best to take note of your surroundings while your vehicle is in motion or while towing a trailer.

This was never more evident than when this gentleman decided to take his fifth wheel camper through the drive-thru bank in Texas.

Luckily, both the driver and his ten-year-old son escaped quickly out the passenger side of the truck and were unharmed. I can't say the same for the rest of the items involved.

Forty and Single Sucks

The countdown is on as my 40th birthday is fast approaching and the inevitable seems unavoidable. Is forty old? By today’s standards and with the population of Canada living longer on average, I suppose it isn’t considered “old” per say but it’s obviously pushing that “old” threshold.

So what is old? I used to think you could be considered old if you took your current age and doubled it and if you figured you’d never reach that age, you were officially old. I’d sure like to think I’ll reach the age of 80 but I can imagine it won’t be a pretty picture if I do. I’m in pain now after a round of golf but I guess only time will tell.

I think what actually concerns me more is the fact that I’m 40 and “single.” Growing old alone seems more and more likely with every passing day. Of course I won’t be completely alone as I always have family in the world but as someone who as a teenager pictured himself with a wife and kids by the time I reached this age, that is probably my biggest disappointment.

I realize I'm not the only person in this situation in the world and it happens to men, women, rich, poor and everything in between. In fact, I think singer Kylie Minogue is 40 and single still. I wonder if I could get her number from someone?

Never finding the love of my life and taking that step from bachelor to husband and family man is a bit of a let down. And I had such a good role model in my father. Don’t get me wrong. I have a lot of fun as a single guy and can do whatever I want, when I want but I suppose it’s one of those “the grass is always greener” scenarios.

I haven’t given up looking for the future “Mrs. Me” but the search area has shrunk and the opportunities are few and far between. Where does a 40 year old guy go to find a potential soul mate or at the very least a date? Church, grocery store, singles dances, Tim Horton’s? I’m beyond the bar scene and to be honest, the bar was a great place to meet women but they usually weren’t looking for a boyfriend. It was like going fishing for the “one night stands” in those situations.

I don’t go to church except for weddings and funerals and I don’t think God would appreciate me showing up at his house of worship without me wanting to be there for at least some of the right reasons. It just wouldn’t feel right to me. I also can’t see myself hanging out in the fruit section at the grocery store asking potential single ladies if I could squeeze their melons to test their freshness. I mean, how do you approach a woman in that situation? Do I stroll up beside her with a roast in my cart and ask her what she thinks of my meat. Seriously, I don’t have a clue which is probably one of the reasons why I’m in the situation I’m in.

And then of course I’m a realist so I know in the competitive game of “Wheel of Wife” there are the obvious strikes against me. While I’d like to imagine that women like a guy for his personality and not for how he looks, the fact remains I have a pretty darn good personality and I’m as single as the Pope. My humour, good upbringing, stable family life and friendly disposition count for nothing since physical attraction is the first thing that peaks anyone’s interest, even my own.

The problem with me is I have plenty of physical attractiveness; it’s just hidden underneath a whole bunch of skin and on this large frame of mine. But I know there's always hope because I’ve seen other big guys with a wife and kids so I know it can happen.

The fear of rejection is also something you never get used to. Or at least, I’ve never gotten used to it and it keeps me from taking chances all the time. I was at a wedding this past weekend and there was one woman there who I knew was single and available. She is quite attractive and has a great personality and although I can talk to her as a friend and we can joke around, I just couldn’t bring myself to make an effort to take it beyond that. In a word…I’m a big chicken. OK, maybe that was two words.

Having said all of this I have had some interest over the years but it just never worked out. I dated a girl a number of years back a couple of times and although she was very nice, it just didn’t “click” for me if that makes sense. Looking back on the experience I have to smack myself in the head. The signals were all there so I could have at least slept with her right? Damn my parents for raising me to be a good man. Where was that devil on my shoulder when I needed him?

So I’m turning 40 and despite the fact that I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I’m not working in my prefered field, I haven’t been with a woman since gas was 68 cents a litre, my body is aching on the best of days and I need to win the lottery to get back to even…I’m doing pretty well and I’m fairly happy. I guess that’s all that really matters...isn't it?

Clip of the Week - July 7/08

With the 2008 Summer Olympics quickly approaching, I thought it would be fun to show you one of my favourite summer Olympic moments.

This goes back to 1996 in Atlanta, Georgia and of course with the games being held in the United States, there was a big hope on the part of the Americans that they would win not only the 100 Metre Mens final but the 4X100 Metre Mens final.

Of course now we know they didn't win either and in fact it was the Canadians who won. Donovan Bailey won the 100 final in World Record time and then along with his team-mates they cruised to the Gold medal in the 4X100 final as well.

Here now is video of that Men's 4X100 Metre final.

(I apologize for the music in this clip...it's all I could find and I guess the person who did it thought it made it better. Of course, I don't agree.)

Dave & Melissa's Wedding

I had the extreme fortune to not only attend but emcee the wedding of two of my friends this weekend.

Dave and Melissa were married on Saturday July 8, 2008 and it couldn't have been a more perfect Canadian day. Sunshine, warm and everything went perfect.

The reception was both humourous and emotional at times and the party that followed could have gone all night if not for those darn liquor laws as everyone had a fantastic time.

Congratulations to Dave and Melissa and may you share a long and happy life together.

If you're interested in seeing more photos from the day, just click here to have a look.