Eight Sportscasters That Suck

As I was sitting in front of the TV tonight watching another hockey game, the colour announcer irritated the hell out of me and since I don't have much hair to pull out, I was forced to lob obscenities at him instead.

This got me to thinking about how often I do this while watching sports. I know it's not an easy job since I've actually been in their shoes doing the play-by-play for junior hockey games and the odd baseball game. On radio it's actually a little tougher since there's no video to watch during the quiet times so you have to fill the time with talk.

There are some broadcasters who just plain annoy me and some who are former athletes with no broadcasting experience and it shows.

Of course there are a few that will be left off my list that would likely make your list. The first one that comes to mind is Don Cherry. I love Grapes! Does he make sense all the time? No. Does he talk about Bobby Orr a tad too much? Yes. Does he entertain me and at the same time remind me of why I'm proud to be Canadian? Absolutely! Cherry may get on your nerves and his schtick might be a bit old but he speaks his mind and doesn't care what others think and I can respect that. He is the only reason why I'll sit through the first period of another bloody awful Leaf game just so I can hear what he has to say on "Coach's Corner". As for Ron McLean, I think he does an excellent job as well despite the fact his puns get a little tiresome after a while.

Now on to my personal list of the Worst Sportscasters. Some I'll go into detail about while others suck so badly that you probably already know why I've chosen them.

8. Cassie Campbell (CBC / HNIC)
Here's a case where a former athlete is given a job because she's easy on the eyes and is well known in Canada. Cassie was the captain of Canada's Women's Hockey Team and has won many championships. I can respect that and was happy to cheer her on at the time, but I cringe every time I see her do an interview or talk hockey strategy. Perhaps I'm just sexist (I doubt it) when it comes to women sportscasters but I think it's more than that...she just stinks as a broadcaster.

7. Rod Black (CTV Sports)
Here's a guy who really knows how to take all of the wind out of our sails with his monotone voice and lack of enthusiasm. Actually, I give the folks at CTV credit for having him broadcast the sports that are perfect him...Golf and Baseball. You can't get much more boring than those sports on TV. The only thing that makes listening to Rod even worse is his skill in over-stating the obvious. How about this insight, "The Jays really want to win today". Boy, that is some scintillating commentary.

6. John Madden (Football)
This one actually hurts because I like Madden but he has steadily gotten worse over the years. He used to be kinda funny as well but his insight and humour have both been sacked. Perhaps he's just changed his style of broadcasting. He certainly isn't annoying to listen to, I just don't think he has much to say anymore. Not much insight in any of the games I watch and he sounds like he's become lazy in his pre-game prep. On the bright side, I still like his Football game on Xbox.

5. Tim McCarver (Fox Sports / Baseball)
I almost dread the baseball playoffs every season because I know we'll be stuck listening to this guy. McCarver has been around for a long time and for the life of me I can't understand why. There's nothing he can't explain (even if he's wrong) and there aren't many who can do it as loudly as he can. I recall one playoff when he picked on Deion Sanders constantly. In the clubhouse after the Braves had won Sanders dumped a cooler of ice water on McCarver's head. Not the nicest thing to do but he kind of had it coming.

4. Joe Buck (Fox Sports / Baseball)
I can't mention Tim McCarver without talking about Joe Buck. Here is yet another high profile sportscaster with very little ability to entertain a baseball audience. I'm quite sure he's a St. Louis fan since he seems to belittle every team except the Cardinals. He actually gives Bob Costas a run for his money when it comes to being and sounding arrogant. The only thing that makes Buck even more annoying is the fact that he also covers the NFL as well. Yikes!

3. Bob Cole (CBC / HNIC)
Oh Bob...it's time for you to hang them up my friend. There was a time when I would have ranked Mr. Cole as one of my favourite hockey broadcasters but those days are long gone now. Forgetting the fact for the moment that he's obviously a Maple Leaf fan and likely wears his blue and white boxers to every broadcast, he's just slowing down. He can't keep up with the play anymore or identify the players on the ice as well as he used to. I think the new rule changes have affected him more than the players as the speed of the game is just to much for him to keep up with. Despite all of this I will say he has announced some of my favourite moments...Canada's win over the U.S. at the Olympics in 2002 and who can forget him saying "They're going home! They're going home!" in 1976 when the Soviets left the ice in the first period of their game with the Philadelphia Flyers.

2. Bob Costas (TV and Radio)
I think late night talk show host Conan O'Brien said it best, ""The first Olympic events start tomorrow and you know what that means, right? Bob Costas has to memorize crap nobody cares about." That pretty much sums it up. I have never liked Costas and his no-it-all mentality. He tries to be funny but it just doesn't work. If he has writers, they need to be fired immediately. Above all else, Costas presents himself as a sports snob. He may be an intellectual but I'd hazard to guess that the majority of sports viewers aren't scholars and his broadcasting style belittles anyone who may not have a college education. I am an educated individual and even I find him to be a little too pompous for his own good.

1. Pierre McGuire (TSN / NBC - Hockey)
OK...I will say right off the top that McGuire knows his hockey and like all of the people I've mentioned above, is probably a decent human being and would be interesting to have a conversation with. However knowing the game doesn't make you a good broadcaster. Of all sportscasters on the air today, he is by far the one who annoys me the most. He is the master of the obvious. He is the reason why God created the mute button on the remote. The problem is, I've gone through five remotes because of him.

He's loud, obnoxious, speaks in run on sentences and did I mention loud? Does anyone else get annoyed when he says, "Monster", "Roof Daddy", "Ka-Bong", "Whammo" and "Hammertime"? The worst one was during the World Junior Hockey Championships when Dion Phaneuf knocked down two players and he called it a "Double Dion". What the hell does that mean? I also think he'd marry Sidney Crosby if the opportunity presented itself.

If he just toned down his enthusiasm, annoying catch-phrases and stopped announcing his love for the same few players over and over again, he'd almost be tolerable. Sadly if TSN has held on to him this long, he'll likely be around for a long time to come. That's good news for Walmart as I'll be back there often to get another new remote.

I think this is an excellent example of how we can shut McGuire up. If only we could get the NHL players to do this all the time.

Here's just another brief sample of McGuire being....McGuire.