Miracles Do Happen

When I think back to the day I made the choice to lose weight, it amazes me that I've stayed true to the plan over a year later.

Like so many other times in the past, when I made the decision to make it really happen this time after failing countless times in the past, in the back of my mind I was thinking, "you're probably going to fail again like all the times before." But surprisingly that isn't the case.

Yesterday, after beginning this journey in October of 2012 halfheartedly and then with more serious desire in March of 2013, I finally reached my original weight loss goal. As many of you know who have been following my efforts, I started at a maximum weight of 418.8 pounds and I set a goal of 250 pounds. In actual fact I weighed much more than 418 at one point but didn't have a true weight measurement to go on until I weighed in at 418.8. Yesterday when I stepped on the scale I was thrilled to read the numbers that showed up. I was past my goal and weighed 249.3 pounds. I've officially lost 169.5 pounds to date.

As you might imagine it was a rather emotional moment for me.

Click image to see larger

I didn't cry or anything but the sense of accomplishment and pride I felt was beyond words.

If you were to ask me what was different this time after failing so many times before, I don't know if I could say for certain what changed. Where did this new found willpower and fear of failure come from? How did I commit to eating less and changing my eating habits? Where did the energy come from to start walking every day which eventually turned me into a gym rat spending five days a week on the elliptical, treadmill and lifting weights?

Beats the hell out of me.

Obviously the diagnosis of being a diabetic was a huge motivating factor. Seeing changes in my body that were indicators of a potential deadly outcome in the not too distant future was motivating. Getting winded while struggling to get out of bed, get dressed or climb stairs was motivating. The thought of being bed-ridden, wheelchair bound or attending my own funeral before I turned 50 was motivating.

Just one of those things should have been motivating enough but to combine them all and finally have the light bulb go off in my brain and realize that I'm not ready to die probably got things going in a a positive direction for the first time in my life.

And now that I've actually reached the goal I set for myself I can take a moment to look back. But only a moment because I want to forget that version of me ever existed. Well, I don't want to forget entirely because I need to remember where I came from to recognize the signs that I'm not being as healthy as I need to be and to prevent it from ever happening again.

I've yet to set a new goal for myself because I don't really know what would be realistic.

I've been toying with the idea of setting the new goal for 218.8 pounds. If I succeed in reaching that goal I would have lost a total of 200 pounds.

I'm not sure it's possible though. And then there's the debate over what to do about any excess skin I have left behind. Forty plus years of being obese and then losing a lot of weight leaves behind some unsightly skin. I'd rather have that then the weight but it's still not pretty to look at...not that anyone sees me naked. But I have to look in the mirror so it might be something I can discuss with my doctor down the road. For now, I'm not planning on wearing a Speedo on the beach or being on the cover of GQ or Muscle and Fitness, so I can live with it.

Not long into this weight loss journey I wondered what I might do to celebrate or mark the occasion if I reached my goal. I don't have any tattoos on my body and I've never really had any desire to get one, mainly because I could never think of anything I wanted bad enough to have it permanently inked into my skin. I'm still open to the idea but don't have a clue what I'd get or where I'd put it. The thought of it is kinda neat and I know that it would mean something special as it would mark a significant achievement in my life. I'm open to suggestions if anyone wants to provide any.

So I'm going to enjoy this moment for a bit while continuing to watch what I eat and work out. Soon I'll be golfing again and will be back to walking the golf course and climbing the hills which is always some good exercise, even if my game is complete crap. It's all about the greater good though.