Three Years Later...

HUH! So this is what my blog looks like.

Almost three and a half years have passed since my last blog post and so much has happened since then I could probably type for ages but I won't bore you. I'll save that for another post that I hope will happen a lot sooner.

Just briefly since my last entry, I'm still with my Sweetie and we're coming up on nine years together.
How she has put up with my wacky ways I'll never know but I'm very happy and grateful for her love and support.

My father passed away in September 2020 and that has been difficult to deal with. We were so close and he was my best friend for so long.

I might touch on that more later.

We survived the pandemic which is more than so many others could say. I still wear a mask inside grocery stores and the like. There continues to be variants popping up and probably will be the rest of my life. Honestly, it's not a big deal to mask up but to listen to others, having a cover on your face is an attack on their freedom. Clearly we have different ideas of what freedom means. So we'll continue to do what we feel is right and stick our hidden tongues out at the selfish and uneducated people.

I just wanted to pop on here say hello and give a quick post. I always enjoyed sharing my thoughts on pretty much everything. Nobody has ever been forced to agree with them but having a creative outlet is cathartic. I hope I used that word properly. LOL

That's it for now on this Labour Day Monday.

What Day Is It?

Seriously! Does anyone know what day it is or how long we've been cooped up in our homes trying to avoid the Covid19 pandemic?

Life has been anything but normal and I think most will agree that this really sucks.

I know in the grand scheme of things I have it pretty good right now with a roof over my head and high speed Internet to stream Netflix. As good as that is, I still miss so many other things we used to take for granted.

The nicer weather has started to show signs of returning as the days get longer and warmer. I might even take my snow tires off the car this week. This change that we'd normally be happy about isn't being met with the same enthusiasm as it would have had 2020 gone as planned.

Everything is pretty much shutdown or closed to try and keep people safe, although it seems some selfish morons are still trying to do things they shouldn't. These mental defective numbskulls aside, most people are making an effort to keep themselves and the most vulnerable in our communities as safe as possible.

Here it is the end of April. What things would I be doing at this time of the year that I can't now. Obviously the first thing I think of is spending quality time with my Fiancée. We don't live together and therefore are not allowed to get close to each other. Are either of us carrying the virus? Probably not but that doesn't mean we can risk it for her health or mine. We'll make up for lost cuddle time when this is all over.

The snow is gone so clearly I'd love to put my golf clubs in the car and head to the course to shake the rust off my swing after a long winter.

Not to mention carrying my clubs around the course chasing the ball for exercise. As of right now, all golf courses are closed and our leagues will have to wait to begin, if we ever get them started this year.

I'm not alone in wanting the option to do other things like go to restaurants, walks in Provincial Parks, going to the gym and most importantly, gathering together in person with family and friends.

All we can do right now is put everybody's health first. That is more important than standing outside Tim Hortons having a smoke with your buddies drinking coffee. It's more important than taking kids to play on the swings at the park with their friends. It's more important than getting into arguments and fights with store staff or other people because you had to wait in a line to get groceries. Use the common sense you were born with and do what HAS to be done and not what you WANT to do.

Stay safe and let's take care of all of us.

Self-Quarantine TV Shows

Sitting here late on a Saturday night self-distancing and doing laundry, I flipped on the TV and realized with no hockey and mostly Big Bang Theory reruns on, watching the tube is getting old quickly during this crazy time we find ourselves working through.

During the week there are still some shows bringing out new programming and while watching the news is important, it can also be depressing and it's nice to escape with some pointless television fluff.

Everyone has their thing when it comes to the TV shows (not movies) we enjoy. Some people don't like Reality TV programs and in this day and age, that shrinks your options significantly. We can all use a laugh but oddly enough, some folks don't see the humour in Comedies. For me personally, I used to enjoy Cop and Lawyer programs but I can't think of any that are on now that interest me.

So what I thought I'd do, because what else do I have to do approaching midnight during a pandemic, is just share with you some of the shows I enjoy or enjoyed watching. Some you may have watched already and others you might not. This may include regular broadcast television, Netflix and other streaming services and programs found online.

So in no particular order, here we go with Dramas and Comedies:

The Crown (Netflix)
This is a historical drama about the reign of Queen Elizabeth II. I was hesitant to watch this but once I started I couldn't stop. There have been three seasons so far and you can binge watch them all right now.

Homeland (Showtime)
This is an American spy thriller currently in its Eighth season. While the main character can sometime be a bit annoying with her story line, this final season has been amazing so far.

GLOW (Netflix)
This is a comedy-drama set in the 80's based on the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. Once again, I didn't think I would enjoy this but so far I've watched all three seasons and look forward to the next.

The Goldbergs (ABC)
How did I not give this show a chance long ago? A comedy set in the 80's now in it's seventh season. Lee and I just started watching this program and catching up on all the seasons this year. The writing is smart and funny and for those of us who lived the greatest decade, it transforms us back every episode.

Hunters (Amazon Prime)

With only one season so far, this series has been excellent. Nazi hunters discover high ranking Nazi officials and search them out to bring them the justice they deserve while stopping their plans to continue where they left off at the end of WWII.

The Mandalorian (Disney +)
If you love Star Wars, you'll love this show as well. Set five years after The Return of the Jedi, a bounty hunter becomes the one hunted after he fails to turnover a very special bounty.

Game of Thrones (HBO)
I know some of you haven't watched this series yet and you are really missing out. It's a fantasy drama with several interesting plot lines and characters. It really is as good as the hype surrounding it. Plus, how can you not want to see dragons. By far the best show on TV in the last 10 years in my opinion.

There are so many more dramas and comedies worth watching if you haven't seen them that I could mention here. Peaky Blinders, Mindhunter, Sex Education and Black Mirror all on Netflix to name a few.

When it comes to Reality TV, we watch a wide range of these shows and honestly, there are way too many to mention them all so I'll just give you a few of our favourites.

Gogglebox (Britain and Australia)
Picture a camera in your living room pointed at you capturing your reactions and commentary on the shows we watch and news of the day.

The program shows clips from the shows they watch and edit in the comments they make. It can be hilarious. This is a really fun show and I would love to see a similar program on Canadian television.

Survivor (USA, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa)
I'm sure everyone in North America is familiar with the American and original version of the show but other countries have their own versions as well. To be honest, it's only in its seventh season but the Australian Survivor has been the most entertaining of them all and the competitions are a lot more intense and difficult.

Love Island (UK and Australia)
Ya I know. What the heck am I watching this drivel for? I don't know why but this show about finding love while competing to win cash has been fun to watch the last couple of years. The only downside is avoiding spoilers because the show airs hours ahead of our time zone.

Cooking Shows (Various)
This is more of Lee's thing but I have enjoyed several of these cooking competitions as well. Among my favourites would be Top Chef, MasterChef, Hell's Kitchen and Chopped.

First Dates (UK and Australia)

Singles of all ages are set up on blind dates in the First Dates Restaurant and we get to listen in to the conversations. This is like being a fly on the wall and if you're someone who wants to know what you should or shouldn't do on a date, you can learn a lot here and have a laugh as well.

Again, there are so many shows in this genre that can help pass the time. A few others we enjoy include Vanderpump Rules, Real Housewives, Married at First Sight (U.S. and Australia), 90 Day Fiance and Big Brother.

If you have any shows you enjoy that you'd like to share, feel free to leave a comment. If you don't like the shows mentioned here, that's okay as well. Just find something that helps you and your loved one's get through these tough times and if all else fails, turn off the TV and try playing a board game.

Get Away From Me!

It doesn't take much to realize our world today is much different than it was a few months ago. Everything was holly jolly at Christmas but little did we know how quickly the normal day to day routine would change.

This COVID19 outbreak has turned the world and our lives upside down. If it hasn't for you, then I fear you're either part of the continuing problem or you'll have a serious wake up call before too long.

For some I'm sure self-quarantining is no big deal. If you rarely ever leave your home and interact with people in your normal lives, you likely aren't being too inconvenienced.

For someone like me, I prefer to be on the go either shopping or chatting with people here and there.

I don't mind being inside doing stuff but I can get the "Jimmy Legs" after a while and really desire an escape to the outdoors. Of course, being outdoors isn't really an issue, it's being around other people that is to be avoided as much as possible.

I think we've done a pretty solid job of that so far. I've quarantined my parents and I'm hoping their friends call rather than visit. Lee and I also limit our trips as much as possible. I encourage her to stay in and I volunteer to do all the shopping for us and my parents and when I return home I hose myself down with soap and hot water.

Yesterday when I was out to pick up a few things I couldn't help noticing how little traffic was on the roads. The fact so many places are closed likely has much to do with that.

It was also nice to see most people practicing self-distancing. Well, until they got in line at the checkouts. I was shocked at first to see how bunched together people were waiting to purchase their supplies. Do they think this is smart?

I tried my best to set a proper example but that went horribly. Standing in line at Dollarama I made sure to leave six feet between me and the man in front of me.

I thought this was going well until a woman moved in behind me and was about an arms length away and to make matters worse, she had a cough. I covered my mouth and kept my back to her to shield me from any possible sputum and also so she couldn't hear me cursing her under my breath.

It baffles me how inconsiderate or unaware some people are. I realize there are people who don't follow the news and don't care to be informed. Any other time I couldn't give two shits but when people's lives are at risk, your ignorance is not only embarrassing but it could also be deadly to someone. I won't be so nice next time.

COVID 19 Anxiety

I can't help but wonder if all generations go through something traumatic and scary that has us praying for the best resolution possible.

My Great-Grandparents had the Flu Pandemic that killed 20-50 million people worldwide. My parents and Grandparents had the Asian Flu that killed two million. My parents and others my age have lived in fear with the HIV/AIDS Pandemic that took 36 million lives. Most recently the SARS epidemic in 2003 struck fear in all of us and the threat of an Ebola pandemic still can't be ruled out entirely as parts of Africa continue to deal with that.

In war time, at least traditional war, you knew your enemy. Often you had to see them to defeat them. Our ancestors fought bravely in WWI & WWII and of course the many smaller wars in various parts of the world since then. Fighting a war with a microscopic virus is a different battle altogether and very unsettling.

As of my writing this, the COVID19 virus or Coronavirus has no known cure and many parts of the world are seeing significant infections and deaths. Here in Canada we have 424 confirmed cases and there have been several deaths. World wide the numbers continue to grow.

I don't need to sit here and spout numbers. Just turn on the TV and you'll have numbers thrown at you constantly. What I set out to do by writing this and bringing my old blog back to life was to share my own personal concerns.

First and foremost the biggest concern is the health of my family and friends. My Fiancée Lee and I have been doing our best to limit our contact with others. We haven't self quarantined at this point but we are staying home as much as we can. When I go out I try to follow the guidelines on how to reduce the chances of contracting COVID19. Hand washing has never been more important and while I've always considered myself to be hygienic, I've certainly upped my hand washing frequency.

My parents are my biggest concern. They are the most vulnerable being 82 and 79 and both diabetic. To make matters worse for my father, he is also on oxygen with diminished lung function due to severe pulmonary fibrosis. And if that wasn't enough, he's been fighting stage four renal cell carcinoma since 2014.

They are essentially under self quarantine until things improve. I'm pretty sure I've convinced them to not leave the house or at the very least, not spend time with others.

This is not an easy task for my mother who, let's be honest, has a gift for the gab and a need to converse with everyone she knows. Hopefully she can fulfil that need by telephone only for the time being. Dad, well, he's a home body and is quite content for the most part although the lack of televised sports will cause some discomfort to him.

I've decided that I or Lee and I will do all of their shopping until this passes. Mom loves to shop and this will be another tough pill to swallow for her but it's for the best. My only fear is that, despite my best efforts, I might get the virus and pass it on to them. So when I do go out I will try to practice safe shopping habits by distancing myself from others, avoiding human contact physically and by limiting my trips to stores to a minimum.

It's my hope that others will do the same and together by being smart about the whole thing we can come out the other side healthy and wiser.

My NHL Moments

Hockey is a sport that the majority of Canadians have a passion for. Not everyone I'm sure but for most our National Sport is something we all enjoy and to some extent worship. 

All levels of the game are appreciated and celebrated. I liken it to the fervor that surrounds football in the United States or soccer in Europe. Hockey in Canada is a way of life and a source of national pride. And aside from international tournaments where our very best compete, the highest level of competition comes from the National Hockey League.

The NHL provides the best and brightest in the game a place to play and entertain. Certainly the talent level is watered down now that the league has grown from six to 31 teams but each team has its stars and there's nothing like sitting in the crowd to cheer on your favourite team in person.

My favourite team is the Montreal Canadiens. Twenty-four Stanley Cup victories and a perennial playoff participant usually. I've been fortunate to be alive for 10 of those Championship seasons. Sadly, this season they've faltered but don't get me started on that.

I come by my love for the Habs honestly. My father is and always has been a Montreal fan all of his 80 years. We'd sit in front of the TV and listen to Danny Gallivan and Dick Irving Jr on Hockey Night in Canada. Of course for my dad, it started with Foster Hewitt and the Montreal and Toronto rivalries.

My grandfather was an Engineer for the Canadian Pacific Railroad and my father as a young man also found work with CP in the train yard in our hometown. Back then CP ran passenger trains as well and among those passengers were the Montreal Canadiens players who would from time to time stop in Trenton on the way too and from Montreal. For a young man to see these legendary figures was something to behold.

So the Habs have been my team for 50 years and I hear if from my friends who are Toronto Maple Leafs fans quite often. We enjoy some friendly jabs back and forth but despite our loyalties to our respective teams, we all share a common love for the game.

Over the years I've been lucky enough to attend some of these game in person. Ticket prices now are for the most part obscene and attending a game is a rarity. I have however been witness to some wonderful memories at the few games I have enjoyed at the rink.

The best player to ever play the game, in my opinion, is Wayne Gretzky. Number 99 holds all kinds of records and to see him play with Edmonton and Los Angeles on TV was a treat. But there was nothing compared to seeing him play live. I had an opportunity to see Wayne play for L.A. in 1991 at Maple Leaf Gardens.

My ticket stub from the game.

When you see what he did when the camera wasn't on him it was so impressive. The way he could anticipate the play and where he needed to be was one of a kind.

Going to the game I remember thinking to myself, "I'd just like Wayne to score a goal." It was the one and only time I was going to see him play and I just wanted to say I saw him score once. My all-time favourite player was Guy Lafleur and I did have an opportunity to see him play in person at the end of his career but his age was a factor and even though the thrill of seeing him was there, he just wasn't the player he used to be. That wasn't the case for Gretzky on this night. Not only did Wayne score one goal but he added another and two assists on the way to a 5-2 win over the Leafs. Luc Robitaille also had two goals in the game and one assist. I left the rink a very happy 23 year old kid at heart.

My last time in Maple Leaf Gardens was also the last time the Montreal Canadiens played there as well. I had a pair of tickets to see the Leafs host the Habs in the final meeting between these two teams at MLG. Being able to say you were there was pretty cool.

My ticket from the game.

My friend Matt and I were seated at the south end of the rink and before the game even started, the level of excitement was intense. It usually is when these two teams meet but on this night with what it represented it went to a whole new level.

The game itself was entertaining and Montreal would win 2-1 but it was the pre-game festivities that I was most excited about and will never forget. With this rivalry and the history we knew something special was going to happen and we weren't disappointed. Welcomed to the ice for the ceremonial puck drop were two legends, former Maple Leaf Ted "Teeder" Kennedy and former Canadiens player Maurice "Rocket" Richard. I didn't put a stop watch on it but the standing ovation for these two greats had to have lasted at least 10 minutes if not longer. My hands were killing me by the time the applause finally subsided. The love and appreciation shown to these two men I'm sure was something to see on Hockey Night in Canada but to be there in person was exhilarating.

The last of my favourite NHL hockey moments doesn't involve any player. It centers around a man who I've admired, loved and aspired to be like my whole life...my dad.

In the past I had on a couple of occasions to take my dad to see Montreal play but it was always on the road. We saw them play the Lightning in Tampa a couple of times and after this we saw the Leafs and Habs play at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto. Seeing a game with my dad has always been special, even a Junior hockey game.

My dad had never seen Montreal play in Montreal. The Forum would have been fantastic but sadly it was gone and the team was playing in the Bell Centre but I was determined to get him to a game to experience a Habs home game first hand. 

The game was on Valentine's Day in 2012. We took a train to Montreal and got our hotel room for the night.

Dad standing beside the plaque of his favourite player.

It was freezing cold so we couldn't venture out too long but we could see the Bell Centre just a block away so we decided to bundle up and go down in the afternoon to view the monuments and history outside the rink. We then went and enjoyed an early supper before going back to the hotel to get rested and then left for the rink to be there when the doors opened. I must say, we didn't speak a word of French and anyone we talked to were kind enough to switch to English no problem at all both on the street and in the arena.

Seeing dad look out at the ice once we get inside was kind of a cool moment for me. He was finally going to see a Habs home game. It didn't matter if they won or lost, we were just thrilled to experience the atmosphere first hand. And I can tell you, even for a regular season game against Carolina, the crowd and feeling inside that arena was like nothing else. It's true what they say about seeing a game in Montreal. In the end the trip cost me a pretty penny but the memories I have and to experience that with my dad was priceless.

I've included a video below that I shot of my dad walking out and seeing the rink for the first time.

I have been very lucky to witness some very cool NHL moments in person and I'm sure many of you have similar experiences as well. What saddens me is seeing what the prices of tickets are now and knowing that there are a lot of hockey fans who will never get to have similar opportunities simply because they can't afford it or justify spending so much money on tickets to a game. Greed has taken priority today.

Family Blessings

Looking outside as I type this, the snow is falling and the mercury has begun to plummet into double digits. This time of year I always find myself being a little conflicted.

The summer is my favourite season. The mosquitoes and bugs kinda suck but I'll take the warmth, golfing and time spent sharing campfires under the stars with Lee and the family all year round if I could. Something so simple brings me so much happiness. For this reason I despise winter because I don't like the cold, being stuck inside for months and the sun is rarely seen.

For as much as I can't stand the arrival of winter, I also appreciate that it brings the end of the year and a perfect opportunity to reflect on what has happened over the last 12 months and to appreciate the people in my life.

I am so blessed on several points. I have a loving, funny, beautiful and intelligent girlfriend who; despite my quirks and weird behaviour; embraces my faults and brings so much happiness into my life every day.

Her two beautiful daughters and their husbands have welcomed me into their lives from day one and I appreciate them very much. The year has been stressful at times but our support and love for each other grows every day. I love you Lee.

My parents are still alive, which in my father's case is a miracle. Over three years ago, in June 2014, dad was diagnosed with with Stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma. Cancer had formed in his only remaining kidney and had moved beyond it. The prognosis was not good and the Oncologist told us that Christmas 2014 would be his last.

My dad is my hero and I've never known a stronger, sweeter, more hard working or caring man. But he also showed me just how much of a fighter he is as well. The road hasn't been easy for him but he's still fighting hard and if all goes well he'll celebrate his 80th birthday in June.

Mom has faced her own battles as well, including surgery to have a defibrillator / pacemaker placed in her chest. The woman never stops going.

At 76 she still caters for the Lioness Club, canvasses for the Cancer Society and prevents dad from becoming a permanent part of the furniture by keeping him active. I don't say it enough but I love you mom and dad.

The year brought some fun moments along the way including a visit from my brother Scott, sister-in-law Erin and the kids who traveled from Florida to spend a couple of weeks here in the summer. We had so much fun and made some amazing memories.

Lee's daughter Addison got married to Conrad in October in Collingwood and we were so happy to be a part of their special day. Now we await the arrival of a baby girl due later this month. Lee's oldest daughter Jessyca and her husband Matt were here a few weeks ago and we all celebrated little Dax's first birthday.

I truly believe that family is always the most important thing in our lives and I have been blessed to have oodles of family moments this year. Life may throw you some curve-balls and challenges along the way but family is always the glue and support system you can count on.

One Bullet For Him

The following is a true story and sad story told to me of a long time friend of mine. The names of been changed to protect their privacy.

Growing up, every summer beginning as a newborn, my parents would pack up the car and we’d be off camping at Presqu’ile Provincial Park. These vacations were a highlight and to this day hold some of my favourite memories as a child.

While camping there we met and became friends with a family from Pennsylvania, the Anderson's, and our vacations would be planned so we would be there at the same time. They had several children who were older than me but I would spend a lot of time hanging out with them from the time I was 10 until I was in my teens. To this day some of them still come up to camp although their parents have long since passed on.

They convinced a friend of theirs to make the trip north in the late 70’s. His name is Bubba. Well, that’s what he went by. If anyone spoke his real name he didn’t appreciate it much. Bubba had such a good time that trip that he too decided to visit us every summer as well.

One year, Bubba brought his girlfriend Noreen up with him and they decided to get married while they were here.

We all helped to organize a little reception for them at the campsite after they returned from the Justice of the Peace. It was such a happy occasion surrounded by their friends and they’re still together to this day.

Time passed and Bubba and Noreen would always make the trip across the border to celebrate their anniversary at their favourite camping spot and I always made a point to visit them for a beer and maybe some card playing.

This continued up until about five years ago when we stopped seeing them and heard nothing from them. We knew Bubba had retired but as far as we were concerned all was okay, they just weren’t able to get away for some reason. Sadly, even in this day and age we didn’t even have an email address to contact them.

Fast forward to this fall when one of the Anderson boys showed up at the park again for some Fall camping. He gave us the scoop on what had happened to Bubba and why we hadn’t seen them in years.

Bubba enjoyed hunting. One day he grabbed his gun and ammo and decided to trek into the wilderness of Pennsylvania by himself. He’d done this before and he always went well off the beaten path where he’d never see another human, only wildlife.

This excursion began like so many before but eventually took an unforeseen and scary turn. It was during this trip that Bubba became ill.

He started to feel odd and eventually collapsed on the spot. I can’t even imagine the panic that must have been going through his mind. He was unable to stand or walk. He lost all use of his legs and any chance to get out of a hopeless situation. It was quite likely that where he sat was where he’d die.

Things were bleak to say the least. Bubba’s only hope was to fire off his gun and hope that someone would hear it and find him. The chances of him being found in time or that anyone would hear the gunshots or cries for help were bleak and he knew this. He loaded and discharged his weapon repeatedly most of the afternoon with no luck. As his ammo was getting low, he made the horrible choice to save one bullet for himself. If it came down to freezing to death or being lost forever in the hills of Pennsylvania, he decided that he’d rather end his life on his own terms.

It was looking more and more like his only remaining option would be to use that final bullet. The sun was setting, the temperature was dropping and not surprisingly he hadn’t seen or heard anyone the entire day. All of a sudden as if God had heard his prayers, someone emerged out of the bush right where he had collapsed. This was unheard of. In all the years hunting this area, Bubba had never encountered a single soul. But to his amazement, standing before him was his saviour.

Immediately the call went out to rescue him. Search and Rescue were scrambled and located him deep in the forest propped up against a rock and unable to move. Bubba was placed on a helicopter and air lifted to a hospital where it was eventually determined he'd had a serious stroke.

To this day, I'm told, he has been unable to regain the use of his legs and remains paralyzed from the waist down. His life is changed forever but he has his life thanks to a bullet he never used and miracle he never expected.

Remembrance Day Myth

Halloween has come and gone and with it went my diet and craving for chocolate. I think I might have set a new record for most tiny Aero bars eaten in the time it took to hand out candy to the trick or treaters visiting the house.

No sooner does All Hallows' Eve pass and the annual controversy surrounding Remembrance Day and Christmas resurfaces with a passion and anger no other holiday can achieve.

I'm not sure what fueled this debate but I can guess that the world of retail sales likely had a lot to do with it.

How dare these stores start pumping Christmas carols out of their speakers before November 11th and the day we honour our veterans of past conflicts and wars. Why is this even controversial?

Is there some rule or bylaw that states celebrating the holiday season can't begin until we've officially recognized the sacrifices made by our brave men and women in uniform? Am I disrespecting their memory by listening to Jingle Bells on November 8th?

I consider myself lucky to have spent my entire life living in a military city. I have known many people who have served in dangerous places as peace keepers and in areas of brutal conflict. My uncle served in World War 2 and I knew a couple of men who landed on Juno Beach in Normandy on D-Day and survived. One man hit the beach and had friends on either side of him shot and killed as they moved forward.

These men I knew have since passed away but I asked one of them several years ago about this very subject. While he didn't like to talk about the war too much, he did feel strongly that he fought to preserve our freedom and way of life. Freedom means being able to celebrate whatever you want whenever you want and he had no issue or complaint with people celebrating Christmas prior to Remembrance Day.

He only asked that for that minute at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month you think about the sacrifices he and his fellow soldiers gave so that we may live as we do today.

I don't think that's too much to ask which is why I always try to attend the service at the cenotaph on November 11th or at the very least stop and silently remember them. I know for a fact that if I'm listening to Christmas music on the way to the service he'd be completely fine with that and that's good enough for me.

Give Up Drivng

I think it's fair to say that the majority of people who drive their chosen mode of transportation will tell you they're a good driver. I'm here to tell you that that is complete crap for a vast majority of them!

While I feel I am an excellent driver overall, there are times when I do falter in this department. I've been guilty of driving too close or speeding, although I don’t drive nearly as fast now as I did in my younger years. I rarely speed within city limits by more than 5 km/h and on the highway when its smooth sailing I might be 15 to 20 km/h over. Judging by the number of vehicles that pass me like I'm standing still, that doesn't seem so bad. 

My biggest annoyance on the roads today is how so many drivers feel their destination is more important to arrive at than anyone else's.

This need to be first usually results in people running red lights, excessive speeding, dangerous lane changes and the general disregard of most common sense and safety concerns.

Racing to beat the traffic lights is so common in my town that instead of policing this problem and nabbing these scofflaws, the city has added delays to the most accident prone intersections. These morons now know that when they go through a red light, the delay of four seconds before the light turns green the other way means they can break the law safely. I can see the added safety by instituting these delays but this does nothing to deter this illegal practice which has reached epidemic proportions.

A few years ago I was stopped at a red light and once it turned green I slowly proceeded through the intersection only to have a woman fly through the red and sheer off the front of my new car. Had I been faster to move forward she could have T-boned me and left me seriously injured. As it was it took over $10-thousand to fix my car. Sadly, a year later a tire came off the front of a truck approaching me and demolished the front of my car again. That also cost $10-thousand to repair but luckily the tire didn't bound through the windshield and kill me. 

Speeding within the city limits is out of hand as well. Nobody likes to get where they're going more than I do but getting there in one piece and safely is most important. I'd like to say I've slowed down as I've matured but the truth is I see aggressive drivers of all ages today. To be honest however, these speed demons seem to be more often of the female persuasion and of all ages. This isn't sexist, it's a fact. I've had women agree with me on this. The majority of male speeders seem to be younger in age.

The stats speak for themselves and between speed and distracted driving these are the most likely causes of accidents today. In a province where using a hands free device is the law, I'm shocked by the number of people I see every day with phones to their ears or texting while driving.

Before the law changed and the fines became so severe, I would be one of these people and I know from my own experience that this was a dangerous practice. Once the laws against distracted driving came to be, I went 100% hands free and it was the best decision I ever made. And with the new operating system on my iPhone, I don’t get any notifications while I'm driving so I'm not even tempted to look at texts or alerts. In today's vehicles with Bluetooth a standard feature, there's no excuse to break the law.

Some days I dread leaving the house because I know I'm going to have several near misses or witness numerous illegal and dangerous examples of driving and it frustrates me beyond belief. One thing it allows me to do however is use my horn more and curse a blue streak at these menaces to society.

Enjoy Life and Smile

I posted a blog earlier today and after some reflection and some wise and loving words from my girlfriend, I realized the post wasn’t really me . Okay, it was me who wrote the words but they didn’t truly reflect my feelings and my life right now. I was, for lack of a better term, a real asshole. And if there’s one thing I’ve prided myself on, it’s being a good person and respecting everyone who shows me the same love and respect in return. So I deleted the blog.

I think most of us reach a point in our lives where we can reflect on things and appreciate the good and block out the negativity. It comes with age and wisdom.

As kids, we would let peer pressure seep in and rule our feelings and actions and then one day you wake up and you no longer allow others to dictate who you’re going to be. You can choose to hate the world and everyone around you and isolate yourself. Or you can embrace life, appreciate the people who touch your lives daily and choose to love the people who truly mean the world to you.

Bitterness can be an evil thing if you allow it to take over your life. Lord knows we’ve all had things happen through our lives where we could have allowed it to blacken our hearts or force you to put up walls. I feel sorry for those people who shut themselves off and are afraid to love and be loved. Or maybe they spend life being alone. I guess it could be possible for these people to be truly happy when they’re alone and miserable but that just seems horrible to me.

I’ve known disappointment, anger, pain, sadness and pretty much all of the good and bad feelings a lifetime can bring and yet I choose to remain optimistic, cheerful, friendly and loving because I know that it’s all a part of this short life we have.

Whether you live 100 years or something significantly less, it’s important to not waste the time you have.

Appreciate the people you have in your life and those you have met along the way. Life can bring you bad times but how you react to those obstacles and move ahead determines how you’ll move forward.

I see people walking around looking straight ahead, afraid to make eye contact, not willing to share a friendly greeting, smile or so much as a nod hello and I feel sorry for them. I suppose that’s their right but it just feels like an awful waste. When I’m out and about I may be having a bad day but I still manage to give a smile, wave or hello with those I meet.

I think it’s important to surround yourself with people who annoy you, challenge you, inspire you, appreciate you and most of all care about you. I try to do that every day.

Thank you Lee for reminding me what’s most important. I have a loving girlfriend, a family that has supported me throughout my life and will be there whenever I need them. And while I don’t have many close friends, I have a throng of supporting and caring people who are always willing to accept me for who I am and share in my life. I appreciate all of you who have touched my life and shaped me, even in some small way.

The Hap Hap Happiest Christmas

Traditionally I suppose Thanksgiving is the time to give thanks and be grateful for what you have but to be honest, this past Thanksgiving I wasn’t feeling particularly happy about what was happening in my life or the life of my family.

This year for the most part had been one hellish roller-coaster ride for me and my family. Perhaps I was just blinded by all the negative things to see the good stuff that happened in 2014 but to be honest, the bad news was so great that I didn’t feel much like smiling or enjoying the good times.

The most important man in my life, my father, has been dealing with a deadly form of cancer since the summer and the prognosis seemed bleak at best. I’m not a doctor but I suppose that’s still the case but luckily there has been some good news just in time for Christmas.

With cancer moving from his only remaining kidney into his lungs, you can imagine it was a very depressing summer and autumn. We did our best to put on a brave face and my father has done an amazing job of remaining positive and was willing to fight this bastard of a disease as best he could.

I’m not an overly religious person so I’m not going to say divine intervention has played a part in the latest results. I truly believe modern medicine has come a long way with advancements to prolong the lives of those stricken with this affliction. It was very welcome news a few weeks ago when my dad visited the doctor at the cancer clinic and was told that there were no new lesions or growth in his lungs and kidney. What was even more amazing was the fact the existing tumors had shrunk “significantly”. We knew full well going into the treatment with these expensive chemo pills that it wasn’t a cure. All we were hoping for was more time with my dad and to give him a chance. It appears as though that will be the case.

With any luck the pills will continue to do their job and keep the cancer in check for a while, thus allowing my father to enjoy more time on this earth and for those of us who love him, more time to irritate and annoy his grumpy ass. Any extra time and every day is a blessing.

On a personal level, the end of 2014 has also brought some unexpected but long sought after love into my life. That’s right, I met someone.

The funny thing is; I’ve known her for well over 30 years. We went to high school together and have always been friends.  Come to find out she actually had a thing for me in high school but as usual I was so oblivious to the signs and just a typical silly school boy that I didn’t even notice. I was too busy playing football and trying to be cool to see her for more than just a great friend and someone to share good times and laughs with.

We kept in touch and for the last three years or so chatted often online. Not surprisingly with my track record, I remained unaware of her feelings for me. I had dated several women this year with no love connection and perhaps with all that was happening with dad my heart really wasn’t into it. And then one day while chatting with her, something finally clicked in me. I realized that this woman and friend would be an amazing person to date and pursue a relationship with. Of course, that all depended on whether or not she still had any interest in me. As it turns out, she was still interested. 

Officially we’ve been dating for three weeks but since we’ve known each other for so long and been talking so much in recent years, it feels as though we’ve been together for much longer. We were able to skip that whole “getting to know each other” phase since we already knew each other so well. It’s safe to say she is my best friend and we get along so well. We are always laughing and having a good time together. We just click and are comfortable with each other. I know my family will grow to love her as much as I do.

So 2014 was bloody awful for the most part but some amazing news and events at the tail end of the year has turned the whole year around. This will truly be the happiest Christmas for me in a very long time.

Online Dating With Bundy

I love women! Seriously, I love everything about them. Okay, there is one thing I don’t love about them and that’s how damn confusing they can be. But maybe that’s just another reason to love them even more because they frustrate me and drive me crazy.

The truth of the matter is this. I haven’t dated much in my life. If I had to guess, the number of real dates I’ve gone on up until this year was probably less than I could count on two hands.  I know the reason for this is pretty simple. When you’re the size of a house, women tend to be less attracted to you. I get that and I was never really bitter about that. I’ve never been in what I would call a real relationship with anyone. It just never happened. Sure I fooled around from time to time but nothing on a commitment level.

Back when I weighed over 400 pounds and I finally decided to make some critical changes to my life, I did it strictly for health reasons. I knew if I didn’t change my eating habits and if I remained stuck in a sedentary lifestyle I was likely sentencing myself to an early death. So the journey to lose weight began and as you probably know, it has been fairly successful to date and my health has improved greatly.

Although it wasn’t my main reason for dropping pounds and getting thinner and healthier, in the back of my mind I thought, “maybe this might also open the door to some romantic possibilities if I become more attractive to women.” It was nice to have women I’ve known for many years tell me how handsome I was or how good I look after lightening my load. It sort of boosted my confidence which in all honesty could use all the boosting it could get. The person I was on the outside that people knew was an act to some extent. When I saw people I was happy, laughing, telling jokes, friendly and putting on a brave face. The real me when I was alone was lonely, depressed, bitter and in need of affection.  Oh sure, the happy version of myself is probably who I am or who I want to be all the time but I spend a lot of time alone which leaves me way too much time to dwell on negative thoughts.

But now I figured I had an opportunity to try and change all of that and seek out the female companionship I’ve always longed for. The only problem was finding a woman. Damn, I was back to square one again. In my mid-40s I wasn’t going to start hanging out at the bar again and I’m certainly not the type to hit on random women at Walmart or on the street. I’ve had friends who would hit on anything with a heartbeat but that’s not who I am. So what were my options?

The truth is there aren’t a lot of options left, other than online dating websites which I’ve never been a fan of. Sure they’re interesting to scan over and see who’s on them but to go beyond that really wasn’t something I thought I could do. However, somewhere in my new found confidence I decided to give it a try.

My website of choice is called Plenty of Fish. It was free and surprisingly there are a lot more local women on the site than I expected. I knew going into the process that the odds of finding a woman without kids and baggage was going to be nearly impossible and I was okay with that.

I like kids so that’s not an issue for me.

I made the conscious decision from the beginning to stick to my beliefs of being honest and sincere. I refused to lie on my profile and I posted photos of myself that were not misleading anyone. I immediately had some messages from women which I must admit shocked me a little.

One woman from my area contacted me and we decided to meet in a public place which I always prefer. I only had a photo of her face and the way she described herself on her profile to go on so when I walked into the coffee shop and found her I was a little surprised by who was looking back at me. Now let me be completely honest and say I don’t have a problem with women of size. If you’re a larger woman and you embrace it and are a wonderful person with a super personality and brain to match, I won’t discriminate because you’re over weight. I’m not exactly tiny and I was a much larger man at one time so I know that people of size can be loving and beautiful people. I do however have an issue with people who lie and deceive. This woman had described herself as being an “average” body type when clearly she weighed closer to what I used to weigh. Had she been honest from the start I might have given her a chance but she already had a major strike against her. We went for a slow walk and talked a bit and after learning more about her it became very clear that this wasn’t a match for me and I let her know this. I also believe that if you don’t feel something it’s best to not lead someone on or go out on more dates which will only make it tougher later to break it off without hurting someone.

I had another woman pursue me who gave me the impression that she really wanted to see if a relationship could work but for one reason or another that ended up being untrue. I’m not looking for a friend only situation. I have plenty of friends. So we parted as friends and I moved on.

Recently I had another woman contact me. We chatted online for about a week before we finally met. We had a great conversation and both of us were genuinely attracted to each other. I have to think in hindsight that things moved way too quickly which could have been a major warning sign that I should have seen. We dated five times in about a week. I’ll spare you the details, although they are pretty juicy, but needless to say it ended almost as quickly as it had started. On the bright side, I did get a couple of nights of adult fun out of it so it wasn’t all bad. I truly believe I was used for sex, and that my friends was a first for this guy.  I will admit that I fell hard and fast for this one and when it ended last weekend I was hurting but it was a good lesson for me and the knowledge I gained will go with me as I move forward.

I was still feeling quite devastated the next morning after things went from feeling amazing to feeling heartbroken in a matter of minutes. But as I was trying to sift through the wreckage I got another message from another woman on POF. Life wasn’t over and there was still hope. This woman is French and lives about an hour away. We decided to meet and go for a walk with her dogs and then we went and sat by the water and talked for a couple of hours on a bench. With there being a bit of a distance between us, there’s no chance of moving too fast with this one and time will tell if anything will come of it or if I’ll continue fishing for someone else. It’s just nice to know that after so many years of swimming in the pond by myself, some other female fish have finally noticed me.

Life Gets In The Way

Summer highlight having the family together in Canada.

 The summer isn’t officially over yet but having moved into September it can definitely be classified as being on life support. This has truly been the summer from hell. Easily one of the hardest summers of my life and that’s saying a lot for me.

Going into the summer I was feeling great. I had lost over 170 pounds, was working out daily, work was going well, family was doing fine and the thought of feeling the heat of the sun on my face again was something I was looking forward to. The only thing that didn’t look promising was my love life which in all honesty hasn’t been much to cheer about for a very long time.

I don’t mind sharing my own personal thoughts and life story with all of you because I like to think I’m a pretty open book. There are some family things that will always remain as private as possible. I try to walk a fine line between being honest and protecting those I love.

The one big reason why I’ve been neglecting my blog this summer revolves around my father who was diagnosed with kidney cancer and not the kind that can be cured. It’s Stage 4 renal cell carcinoma and unfortunately it has moved out of his only remaining kidney and into his lungs.

Quite simply, it devastated us when we learned the news as I’m sure it does for most families. My dad is my best friend and the toughest man I’ve ever known and he’s wearing a brave face through all of this but knowing what he is facing in the months ahead scares me and I’m sure behind his brave face he is also feeling some fear. But I made a decision to spend as much time as I can with him and keep life as normal as possible which I think I’ve been pretty successful at doing.

The support of family and friends has been pretty amazing to see and I know my dad and mom both appreciate the kindness of those who have closed ranks around us at this time.

Of course with all that is happening in my family it has taken up a lot of my free time which I’m perfectly fine with. But my plans to be more active this summer by golfing more and walking and running more has suffered. I haven’t golfed nearly as much this summer as I have in past years and as far as my health goes, the summer has taken a bit of a toll on that as well.

I postponed my gym membership for July and August which means a lot of the progress I had made last winter with my weight lifting and fitness has been lost. I’m still in pretty decent shape but I’ve lost a lot of the muscle tone I had built and I’m sure some of that muscle has also turned into fat again. Thus, my weight has increased some this summer. That’s not to say I’ve ballooned up again but I’d say I gained about 20 pounds at one point.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been trying to ease back into my old routine again and the pounds have started dropping again and I’ve returned to my original goal weight. Come the middle of September my gym membership will kick in and I hope to be back pumping iron and burning more fat.

My love life this summer has been interesting at times. Perhaps I should just dedicate a whole other blog to that subject as it’s kinda interesting how times have changed since I used to date years ago.

So I’m sort of back writing again but as usual I’m sure life will throw me some curveballs and I won’t be able to write as often as I’d like but I’ll do my best.

Where Have You Been?

This is just a quick update to let everyone know that I am still around, however health issues in my family (specifically my father) have taken priority over updating my blog. I hope to find time to get back at it soon. 

My blog isn't the only thing that has taken a back seat. My weight loss has stalled although it remains steady and I'm not gaining weight back at least but my focus has changed to something more important right now. My plan to golf a lot this summer has also gone out the window. I probably should have saved my money and skipped my membership this year but it was already paid for so there's nothing I can do about that now except try to find time when I can.

My family is and always will be my number one priority. I'll try to get back to normal eventually.

Thanks and I hope your year is going well so far.