One Bullet For Him

The following is a true story and sad story told to me of a long time friend of mine. The names of been changed to protect their privacy.

Growing up, every summer beginning as a newborn, my parents would pack up the car and we’d be off camping at Presqu’ile Provincial Park. These vacations were a highlight and to this day hold some of my favourite memories as a child.

While camping there we met and became friends with a family from Pennsylvania, the Anderson's, and our vacations would be planned so we would be there at the same time. They had several children who were older than me but I would spend a lot of time hanging out with them from the time I was 10 until I was in my teens. To this day some of them still come up to camp although their parents have long since passed on.

They convinced a friend of theirs to make the trip north in the late 70’s. His name is Bubba. Well, that’s what he went by. If anyone spoke his real name he didn’t appreciate it much. Bubba had such a good time that trip that he too decided to visit us every summer as well.

One year, Bubba brought his girlfriend Noreen up with him and they decided to get married while they were here.

We all helped to organize a little reception for them at the campsite after they returned from the Justice of the Peace. It was such a happy occasion surrounded by their friends and they’re still together to this day.

Time passed and Bubba and Noreen would always make the trip across the border to celebrate their anniversary at their favourite camping spot and I always made a point to visit them for a beer and maybe some card playing.

This continued up until about five years ago when we stopped seeing them and heard nothing from them. We knew Bubba had retired but as far as we were concerned all was okay, they just weren’t able to get away for some reason. Sadly, even in this day and age we didn’t even have an email address to contact them.

Fast forward to this fall when one of the Anderson boys showed up at the park again for some Fall camping. He gave us the scoop on what had happened to Bubba and why we hadn’t seen them in years.

Bubba enjoyed hunting. One day he grabbed his gun and ammo and decided to trek into the wilderness of Pennsylvania by himself. He’d done this before and he always went well off the beaten path where he’d never see another human, only wildlife.

This excursion began like so many before but eventually took an unforeseen and scary turn. It was during this trip that Bubba became ill.

He started to feel odd and eventually collapsed on the spot. I can’t even imagine the panic that must have been going through his mind. He was unable to stand or walk. He lost all use of his legs and any chance to get out of a hopeless situation. It was quite likely that where he sat was where he’d die.

Things were bleak to say the least. Bubba’s only hope was to fire off his gun and hope that someone would hear it and find him. The chances of him being found in time or that anyone would hear the gunshots or cries for help were bleak and he knew this. He loaded and discharged his weapon repeatedly most of the afternoon with no luck. As his ammo was getting low, he made the horrible choice to save one bullet for himself. If it came down to freezing to death or being lost forever in the hills of Pennsylvania, he decided that he’d rather end his life on his own terms.

It was looking more and more like his only remaining option would be to use that final bullet. The sun was setting, the temperature was dropping and not surprisingly he hadn’t seen or heard anyone the entire day. All of a sudden as if God had heard his prayers, someone emerged out of the bush right where he had collapsed. This was unheard of. In all the years hunting this area, Bubba had never encountered a single soul. But to his amazement, standing before him was his saviour.

Immediately the call went out to rescue him. Search and Rescue were scrambled and located him deep in the forest propped up against a rock and unable to move. Bubba was placed on a helicopter and air lifted to a hospital where it was eventually determined he'd had a serious stroke.

To this day, I'm told, he has been unable to regain the use of his legs and remains paralyzed from the waist down. His life is changed forever but he has his life thanks to a bullet he never used and miracle he never expected.

Remembrance Day Myth

Halloween has come and gone and with it went my diet and craving for chocolate. I think I might have set a new record for most tiny Aero bars eaten in the time it took to hand out candy to the trick or treaters visiting the house.

No sooner does All Hallows' Eve pass and the annual controversy surrounding Remembrance Day and Christmas resurfaces with a passion and anger no other holiday can achieve.

I'm not sure what fueled this debate but I can guess that the world of retail sales likely had a lot to do with it.

How dare these stores start pumping Christmas carols out of their speakers before November 11th and the day we honour our veterans of past conflicts and wars. Why is this even controversial?

Is there some rule or bylaw that states celebrating the holiday season can't begin until we've officially recognized the sacrifices made by our brave men and women in uniform? Am I disrespecting their memory by listening to Jingle Bells on November 8th?

I consider myself lucky to have spent my entire life living in a military city. I have known many people who have served in dangerous places as peace keepers and in areas of brutal conflict. My uncle served in World War 2 and I knew a couple of men who landed on Juno Beach in Normandy on D-Day and survived. One man hit the beach and had friends on either side of him shot and killed as they moved forward.

These men I knew have since passed away but I asked one of them several years ago about this very subject. While he didn't like to talk about the war too much, he did feel strongly that he fought to preserve our freedom and way of life. Freedom means being able to celebrate whatever you want whenever you want and he had no issue or complaint with people celebrating Christmas prior to Remembrance Day.

He only asked that for that minute at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month you think about the sacrifices he and his fellow soldiers gave so that we may live as we do today.

I don't think that's too much to ask which is why I always try to attend the service at the cenotaph on November 11th or at the very least stop and silently remember them. I know for a fact that if I'm listening to Christmas music on the way to the service he'd be completely fine with that and that's good enough for me.

Give Up Drivng

I think it's fair to say that the majority of people who drive their chosen mode of transportation will tell you they're a good driver. I'm here to tell you that that is complete crap for a vast majority of them!

While I feel I am an excellent driver overall, there are times when I do falter in this department. I've been guilty of driving too close or speeding, although I don’t drive nearly as fast now as I did in my younger years. I rarely speed within city limits by more than 5 km/h and on the highway when its smooth sailing I might be 15 to 20 km/h over. Judging by the number of vehicles that pass me like I'm standing still, that doesn't seem so bad. 

My biggest annoyance on the roads today is how so many drivers feel their destination is more important to arrive at than anyone else's.

This need to be first usually results in people running red lights, excessive speeding, dangerous lane changes and the general disregard of most common sense and safety concerns.

Racing to beat the traffic lights is so common in my town that instead of policing this problem and nabbing these scofflaws, the city has added delays to the most accident prone intersections. These morons now know that when they go through a red light, the delay of four seconds before the light turns green the other way means they can break the law safely. I can see the added safety by instituting these delays but this does nothing to deter this illegal practice which has reached epidemic proportions.

A few years ago I was stopped at a red light and once it turned green I slowly proceeded through the intersection only to have a woman fly through the red and sheer off the front of my new car. Had I been faster to move forward she could have T-boned me and left me seriously injured. As it was it took over $10-thousand to fix my car. Sadly, a year later a tire came off the front of a truck approaching me and demolished the front of my car again. That also cost $10-thousand to repair but luckily the tire didn't bound through the windshield and kill me. 

Speeding within the city limits is out of hand as well. Nobody likes to get where they're going more than I do but getting there in one piece and safely is most important. I'd like to say I've slowed down as I've matured but the truth is I see aggressive drivers of all ages today. To be honest however, these speed demons seem to be more often of the female persuasion and of all ages. This isn't sexist, it's a fact. I've had women agree with me on this. The majority of male speeders seem to be younger in age.

The stats speak for themselves and between speed and distracted driving these are the most likely causes of accidents today. In a province where using a hands free device is the law, I'm shocked by the number of people I see every day with phones to their ears or texting while driving.

Before the law changed and the fines became so severe, I would be one of these people and I know from my own experience that this was a dangerous practice. Once the laws against distracted driving came to be, I went 100% hands free and it was the best decision I ever made. And with the new operating system on my iPhone, I don’t get any notifications while I'm driving so I'm not even tempted to look at texts or alerts. In today's vehicles with Bluetooth a standard feature, there's no excuse to break the law.

Some days I dread leaving the house because I know I'm going to have several near misses or witness numerous illegal and dangerous examples of driving and it frustrates me beyond belief. One thing it allows me to do however is use my horn more and curse a blue streak at these menaces to society.

Enjoy Life and Smile

I posted a blog earlier today and after some reflection and some wise and loving words from my girlfriend, I realized the post wasn’t really me . Okay, it was me who wrote the words but they didn’t truly reflect my feelings and my life right now. I was, for lack of a better term, a real asshole. And if there’s one thing I’ve prided myself on, it’s being a good person and respecting everyone who shows me the same love and respect in return. So I deleted the blog.

I think most of us reach a point in our lives where we can reflect on things and appreciate the good and block out the negativity. It comes with age and wisdom.

As kids, we would let peer pressure seep in and rule our feelings and actions and then one day you wake up and you no longer allow others to dictate who you’re going to be. You can choose to hate the world and everyone around you and isolate yourself. Or you can embrace life, appreciate the people who touch your lives daily and choose to love the people who truly mean the world to you.

Bitterness can be an evil thing if you allow it to take over your life. Lord knows we’ve all had things happen through our lives where we could have allowed it to blacken our hearts or force you to put up walls. I feel sorry for those people who shut themselves off and are afraid to love and be loved. Or maybe they spend life being alone. I guess it could be possible for these people to be truly happy when they’re alone and miserable but that just seems horrible to me.

I’ve known disappointment, anger, pain, sadness and pretty much all of the good and bad feelings a lifetime can bring and yet I choose to remain optimistic, cheerful, friendly and loving because I know that it’s all a part of this short life we have.

Whether you live 100 years or something significantly less, it’s important to not waste the time you have.

Appreciate the people you have in your life and those you have met along the way. Life can bring you bad times but how you react to those obstacles and move ahead determines how you’ll move forward.

I see people walking around looking straight ahead, afraid to make eye contact, not willing to share a friendly greeting, smile or so much as a nod hello and I feel sorry for them. I suppose that’s their right but it just feels like an awful waste. When I’m out and about I may be having a bad day but I still manage to give a smile, wave or hello with those I meet.

I think it’s important to surround yourself with people who annoy you, challenge you, inspire you, appreciate you and most of all care about you. I try to do that every day.

Thank you Lee for reminding me what’s most important. I have a loving girlfriend, a family that has supported me throughout my life and will be there whenever I need them. And while I don’t have many close friends, I have a throng of supporting and caring people who are always willing to accept me for who I am and share in my life. I appreciate all of you who have touched my life and shaped me, even in some small way.

The Hap Hap Happiest Christmas

Traditionally I suppose Thanksgiving is the time to give thanks and be grateful for what you have but to be honest, this past Thanksgiving I wasn’t feeling particularly happy about what was happening in my life or the life of my family.

This year for the most part had been one hellish roller-coaster ride for me and my family. Perhaps I was just blinded by all the negative things to see the good stuff that happened in 2014 but to be honest, the bad news was so great that I didn’t feel much like smiling or enjoying the good times.

The most important man in my life, my father, has been dealing with a deadly form of cancer since the summer and the prognosis seemed bleak at best. I’m not a doctor but I suppose that’s still the case but luckily there has been some good news just in time for Christmas.

With cancer moving from his only remaining kidney into his lungs, you can imagine it was a very depressing summer and autumn. We did our best to put on a brave face and my father has done an amazing job of remaining positive and was willing to fight this bastard of a disease as best he could.

I’m not an overly religious person so I’m not going to say divine intervention has played a part in the latest results. I truly believe modern medicine has come a long way with advancements to prolong the lives of those stricken with this affliction. It was very welcome news a few weeks ago when my dad visited the doctor at the cancer clinic and was told that there were no new lesions or growth in his lungs and kidney. What was even more amazing was the fact the existing tumors had shrunk “significantly”. We knew full well going into the treatment with these expensive chemo pills that it wasn’t a cure. All we were hoping for was more time with my dad and to give him a chance. It appears as though that will be the case.

With any luck the pills will continue to do their job and keep the cancer in check for a while, thus allowing my father to enjoy more time on this earth and for those of us who love him, more time to irritate and annoy his grumpy ass. Any extra time and every day is a blessing.

On a personal level, the end of 2014 has also brought some unexpected but long sought after love into my life. That’s right, I met someone.

The funny thing is; I’ve known her for well over 30 years. We went to high school together and have always been friends.  Come to find out she actually had a thing for me in high school but as usual I was so oblivious to the signs and just a typical silly school boy that I didn’t even notice. I was too busy playing football and trying to be cool to see her for more than just a great friend and someone to share good times and laughs with.

We kept in touch and for the last three years or so chatted often online. Not surprisingly with my track record, I remained unaware of her feelings for me. I had dated several women this year with no love connection and perhaps with all that was happening with dad my heart really wasn’t into it. And then one day while chatting with her, something finally clicked in me. I realized that this woman and friend would be an amazing person to date and pursue a relationship with. Of course, that all depended on whether or not she still had any interest in me. As it turns out, she was still interested. 

Officially we’ve been dating for three weeks but since we’ve known each other for so long and been talking so much in recent years, it feels as though we’ve been together for much longer. We were able to skip that whole “getting to know each other” phase since we already knew each other so well. It’s safe to say she is my best friend and we get along so well. We are always laughing and having a good time together. We just click and are comfortable with each other. I know my family will grow to love her as much as I do.

So 2014 was bloody awful for the most part but some amazing news and events at the tail end of the year has turned the whole year around. This will truly be the happiest Christmas for me in a very long time.