Driving Is Bad For My Health

I used to love getting into my car and going for a drive. Lately, that hasn’t been the case as I find myself becoming more and more stressed behind the wheel.

Admittedly, I do have a bit of road rage but it’s never been more than just cursing at other drivers or pedestrians. OK…I usually don’t actually curse at them so they can hear me, it’s more to myself, but on the rarest of occasions I will let someone have it with both barrels.

I mean, they deserve it! Bad drivers and people who either don’t know the rules of the road or just refuse to follow them really irritate me. In fact, I would say that every time I travel some place, someone will do something stupid to make me want to force feed them a driver’s handbook.

Now I’m not suggesting that I’m a perfect driver and never do anything wrong but I know how to use my signal and I always drive at least the speed limit and turn into the proper lane.

The examples of how people annoy and frustrate me are endless. Some of the most common annoyances lately include:

- drivers treating stop signs as yields and blowing right through them.
- turning into the wrong lane at multilane intersections.
- Not using a turn signal or waiting until they’re starting to turn before activating it.
- Women drivers in general are the absolute worst in all areas. I’m sure some are OK but most I’ve seen have a lead foot and talk on cell phones.
- Riding the brake. One foot on the gas and the other on the brake so their brake lights are on constantly. How the hell do I know if you’re actually going to make a stop?
- driving 60 km/h in an 80 km/h zone. Just driving too damn slow all together.
- pulling out without looking for oncoming traffic.
- cars flying by you on the highway and then cutting in front to take the exit.
- using the high beam lights but refusing to put them down until you flash your lights. Some still don’t put them down.
- drivers who have high beams on during daylight hours.
- drivers who can't wait for one car to go by before pulling out but would rather cut you off and force you to slow down.
- the list goes on and on.

It’s not just people behind the wheel that stress me out. I don’t know why but lately I’ve noticed more and more people walking on roads and refusing to move over when I approach them in the car. They have the room but I guess they feel as though they are entitled to the road and I should go around them. Of course I do because I don’t want to hit them but they’re putting their lives at risk just to be stubborn. They don’t even move to single file but remain walking two or more side by side out into the road. Sometimes I’ll pull right up to them just to see if they will get over. It’s one thing if there’s no sidewalk or walking / biking lane for them to use but when they’re walking where they shouldn’t be, I just want to pull up behind them and blast the horn to give them a wake-up call.

Speaking of cyclists, when did the law change that states they must ride with traffic? Lately I’ve noticed more and more riders driving on the wrong side of the road heading into oncoming traffic. I’m pretty sure that’s still not allowed.

Oh the things I see every day that annoy me to no end. I don’t like to let it bother me but stupidity and ignorance are two things that really get under my skin and lately they’ve been stressing me out. Maybe I need to see my doctor to get some time off work. Of course I’d have to take a cab and keep my eyes closed the whole way.

Leaf Fans Annoy Me

I have many friends who are Toronto Maple Leaf hockey fans and despite that, I will still talk to them.

Of course I'm kidding. I don't have a problem with most of them but I find that a lot of them like to talk trash about other teams...especially the Montreal Canadiens and the Ottawa Senators.

It doesn't surprise me that they dislike those teams since they're in the same division and have big rivalries. What shocks me is how cocky Leaf fans are when you consider how unimpressive their team has been since...well, since before I was born.

In fact, the last time the Leafs won the Stanley Cup was in 1967...one year before I came along. They don't even have colour photos or video of them winning their last cup, that's how long ago it was.

OK, it's too easy to pick on Leaf fans and their teams impressive record of futility. If they keep on the same losing track, they could eventually surpass the 100 year title drought of the Chicago Cubs in baseball.

What annoys me the most are the idiotic Maple Leaf fans who have the audacity to try and make fun of fans of other teams. It's one thing to be a winner and rub it in but how can you possibly make fun of other fans when your team hasn't done anything good in 42 years?

I'd be embarrased to continue supporting a team with owners who have made it quite obvious they'd rather collect the endless supply of money from their dumb fans then make an effort to actually win. Heck...forget winning, how about they just try and get enough good players to make the playoffs once in a while.

Say what you want about Montreal fans but their owners, management and players know that they better produce or they'll feel their wrath. They demand a winning team and they usually get one. Sure they haven't won a cup since 1993 but they usually make the playoffs.

Actually, I have colour photos of the Habs hoisting the cup. How many Leaf fans can say that. I've seen the Habs win nine Stanley Cups and that's not including the one they took home the year I was born.

So my advice to Leaf fans is shut the hell up! Until you actually win something or make the playoffs you have no reason to feel cocky enough to beak off. The good news is the season will be starting soon and after a few games, Leaf fans will once again be able to start talking about next season.

I Hate Telemarketers!

I am sick and tired of telemarketers calling. They usually call around supper time because they know they stand a better chance of getting someone with a mouth full of food.

Recently I added my phone number to the Canadian National Do Not Call List and even though that did reduce the number of annoying calls I get, it hasn't eliminated them entirely.

I'm still getting the calls where the ship horn sounds before a recorded voice tells me I've won a cruise. Ya right....I can hardly wait to hit the high seas.

The easiest one's to ignore are when you say "hello" and there's that pause before someone picks up at the other end. The auto dialer calls and as soon as they realize they have a live person, they'll start into their sales pitch. What I like about those calls is they're easy to identify and therefore I'm able to hang up as soon as they don't answer right away. Of course if I don't hang up quick enough, I still don't feel rude hanging up on them.

Part of me can't help but feel a little sorry for these telemarketers though. I mean, it's their job to bother me and I'm quite sure they'd feel exactly as I do if they were getting the calls. I'm pretty sure that just because someone works as a telemarketer, that doesn't mean they're any more tolerant when someone calls to interrupt their meals.

I'm reminded of one of my favourite Seinfeld scenes when Jerry receives a call from a guy trying to get him to switch phone companies. I loved how he handled it.



But I think Tom Mabe did a great job of turning the tables on the telemarketer who called him one evening. It seems Tom enjoys messing with their minds and records the conversations for others to enjoy...or at least that's what we're to believe in this radio clip. I don't know if this really happened or not but I still thought it was too funny to not share with all of you.