I Can't Believe My Luck

I'm not a mean person and I certainly don't wish bad luck on anybody but sometimes things just happen and while it's a sad event for some, it's a happy event for others.

For example, there's a woman I've had an eye on for quite some time and although she's quite unattainable, there's still that hope that maybe we could get together. My odds, while slim, have improved with this news about Reese Witherspoon.

In case you hadn't heard, actors Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe have separated after seven years of marriage. "We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate," publicist Nanci Ryder said in a statement. Witherspoon, 30, and Phillippe, 32, have two children, daughter Ava, 7, and son Deacon, 3. The two married shortly after appearing in the 1999 film Cruel Intentions.

Of course I would never wish this on any couple, especially when there are kids involved but this is Reese 'frickin' Witherspoon we're talking about here and what's done is done. I've had a thing for her ever since I saw her in the 1996 movie "Fear". I hated Mark Whalberg after that movie because he got to spend all that time with her the lucky SOB. Ok, I don't hate him but he was still lucky.

I also loved the movie "Pleasantville" but with Reese in it, that made the movie just that much more enjoyable. Of course the most recent movie of hers that I watched was "Walk The Line" about Johnny Cash where she played June Carter. Awesome acting and that's why she won the Oscar.

Now before you start thinking I'm obsessed with this woman, keep in mind she's on my "list". All men have a list, even the married one's and if they say they don't then they're lying. The list isn't long but it contains the names of a few ladies we'd give up our right leg to be with. For me, Reese is at the top of my list.

I realize the chances of Reese and I hooking up are slim to none but there's always that hope and that's why we keep our list until the day we die. Besides, if it doesn't work out with Reese, I can always keep trying to hook up with number two on my list...Jennifer Love Hewitt. It could happen.

My Extreme Christmas Wish List

Ok, I know there's still just under two month's until Christmas but I'm in the receiving mood. That's right; there are a few items I'd love to find under my tree after Santa's visit.

Sure there's no way it will happen but since the holiday season is a time for miracle's, maybe I'll win the lottery and play Santa myself.

So here's my brief but a tad expensive Extreme Christmas Wish List.

Nikon D80 Digital SLR Camera ($1600.00)

LG 60 inch HDTV Plasma TV

Bose Surround Sound System ($5000.00)

Dell Dimension XPS 700 Computer
- with a few modifications. ($4000.00)

2007 Cadillac Escalade ($72 000.00)

New Home in Florida (approx. $5 000 000)

That's about it. I'd be happy with these things and several million in spending money. Of course I know I'm more likely to get socks, underwear and maybe a shirt or two.

I suppose as long as I'm spending Christmas with my family that's all that matters. Isn't that the politically correct thing to say?

Another Reason Why I Love The Family Guy

Ok...I'll admit I'm normally not into "Fart Humour" as some people would call it but I am a fan of the "Family Guy" cartoon and I busted a gut when I saw this.

My apologies if you don't appreciate it or are disgusted by it. I'll do my best to get some more highbrow content for you in the future.

For the rest of you...Enjoy!

Tim Hortons...Why Bother

For those who live in Canada, the words "Tim Horton's" is self explanatory. We all know it's probably the world's best coffee shop franchise and it's named after a Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player.

Actually, Horton wasn't just a Leaf as he also spent time playing for the Rangers, Penguins and Sabres. He was still playing for Buffalo when he tragically died in a single vehicle car crash while driving back there after playing a game in Toronto. He was 44 when he died.

The very first Tim Horton's store opened in Hamilton in 1964, ten years before his death. Interestingly enough, he was born in Cochrane, Ontario and that town didn't get their first Timmies until 1994. I found that to be be a little odd.

Of course today most towns and cities have numerous Tim Horton's coffee shops. In fact, let me do a quick count. Here in my small city, we have six of them.

Why are they so popular? Is the coffee that good? Perhaps it's just the social aspect of it. People like to gather at Timmy Ho's for a coffee and some gossip.

I'm not a coffee or donut drinker so I don't know the joy of ordering a medium "double double" and a honey-glazed. The same goes for the Timbits which can only be described as the donut holes for those who aren't familiar with them.

I've tried their sandwiches which are so-so but the one item I always get when I need to cure some hunger pains and Tim's is the only place near, is their chocolate chip cookies.

They can keep their peanut butter and their oatmeal cookies. I'll have the chocolate chip cookies please. Actually, I always order six of them at a time because it's cheaper.

However, I shouldn't say "always" since I can't always get them. And that brings me to the subject of this little musing.

I would say that easily, and I'm not exaggerating, 94.8% of the time I go to a Tim Horton's in my town, they never have chocolate chip cookies. It's so bad that every time I go in or through the drive-thru, I won't say, "may I have six chocolate chip cookies please?" Instead, I'll ask "Do you have any chocolate chip cookies?"

Most times they don't even have to check, the already know the answer and away I go. Of course, If I'm in the drive-thru I have to wait behind all of the coffee drinkers in their cars before I can leave.

I guess my advice to Tim Horton's would be this. If you're not going to keep the cookies in stock or a steady supply of freshly baked cookies on the shelves, then stop selling them because you're only teasing me.

Commonsense tells you if you're always running out of them, then you should probably make more because they're popular. Instead all you're doing is making people like me angry and I'm forced to go without my cookies.

And when I'm cookie deprived, you don't want to be around me.

Oh and one more thing...their "Roll-Up The Rim" contest is no damn good for people like me who don't drink coffee. So much for my chances of winning.