Dear Lord Baby Jesus

Ricky Bobby made it abundantly clear in the movie Talladega Nights that he prefers to think of Jesus as an infant in the manger when he says Grace at the supper table. Meanwhile, Cal Naughton Jr. liked to "picture Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt because it says I'm formal, but I'm here to party."

While these images and the movie itself were rather hilarious, as it so often happens, what occurs in real life is even more bizarre.

I was just shuffling through the Saturday edition of the Toronto Sun and came across an article with the headline, “Jesus smoothes worries away”. The story enlightened us about a woman in Methuen, Massachusetts who claims her life is going to be good, thanks to the image of Jesus Christ which has appeared on the bottom of her…iron.

At first I thought this poor soul had perhaps sucked in too much steam from the iron through her nasal capacity and it was affecting her mind. I mean, I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt having not met her and assume she’s an educated, intelligent and rational thinking person.

Luckily the article came with photographic evidence and you can clearly see the iron is worn from years of use. I suppose if you were to narrow your eyes you could visualize that the damaged area was shaped similar to the head of a person. But when I do this, I don’t see Jesus. I see a balding man that kind of looks like Benjamin Franklin.

Now, the woman is Catholic and I’m guessing a devout one at that which is fine. It isn’t my religion of choice but unlike other parts of the world, I don’t think it’s worth fighting over. But the fact that she is a religious person; this might be clouding her judgment just a little.

She’s also been going through some rough times and a little divine intervention might help to relieve her stress. I don’t begrudge her of that. But I’ve always found it interesting how people see Jesus in the most amazing places. He can be found on toast, a wall, tree bark and some even claim to have seen him in the smoke and debris while the towers fell on Sept. 11, 2001.

I’m not an expert and I’m not even a total skeptic but I do find it odd that Jesus would communicate with us in these ways. It just seems to me that if the son of God really wanted to let us know that he’s with us and wanted people to see his likeness, he’d leave no doubt.

I know what some of you might be saying…you have to have faith and believe even when there isn’t absolute proof. Perhaps you’re right, but I’m someone who likes to know for sure.

So, I would just like to ask Jesus to do us all a favour and put the rumours to rest. The best way to do it aside from showing up and speaking to me personally would be to book a guest spot on Oprah before she goes off the air in 2011. I guarantee it will be a ratings bonanza.

Franklin Gets No Respect

Today was Thanksgiving in the United States and although I reside in Canada, I was able to watch and enjoy one of my favourite cartoons that I watched every year as a child.

This of course was "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving".

Now as an innocent child of the 1970's I never gave the cartoon much thought. It was just Chuck, Peppermint Patty, Lucy, Linus, Snoopy and the gang sharing their Thanksgiving experience.

But tonight I noticed something I hadn't in the past...the cartoon was a little racist.

Now I don't know if it was intended to be that way or not but it certainly would appear that poor Franklin, the only black kid in town, was treated in a way that might even upset the Reverend Al Sharpton.

I am of course speaking of the infamous outdoor dinner scene.

The table is clearly segregated. The white kids on one side and Franklin has to sit by himself all alone on the other side. Not only that but Franklin gets stuck with the broken lawn chair that forces him to sit lower than the rest of them.

Seriously...how come he can't sit with the white kids? Maybe he was just supposed to feel grateful for the invite to enjoy the toast, popcorn and pretzel dinner. Not only that but he isn't even given any lines while at the table. The least they could have done was have him ask someone to pass the butter.

Perhaps I'm just reading too much into it but this really stood out to me. But don't feel too badly for poor Franklin, he went on to enjoy a successful singing career that all began in the back of Charlie Brown's parents station wagon with a rousing rendition of "Over the river and through the woods". Now he enjoys Thanksgiving in his own mansion while Charlie Brown is still trying to kick his crack habit.

Winter Sucks But Be Ready

Here it is late November and so far the only signs of the approaching winter weather we’ve had here are the bare trees, cooler nights and one day with some ice pellets and a couple of flurries. No doubt the worst is yet to come and if this winter is anything like the past several, we can expect lots of snow and some nights of extreme cold.

Any Canadian or anyone who lives in a place where we spend close to half the year dealing with these bloody awful conditions, knows it’s best to prepare ahead of time then to be caught off guard.

Already I’ve planned where I’ll be putting the snow to keep the driveway clean, I’ve filled up the gas tank in the snow blower and had it running once to make sure it’s in tip top shape to save my back some pain. The shovels will be next to come out for those light dustings and for clearing the deck and the bags of ice melt will be purchased soon.

Most people plan for their homes but what about your vehicle? There are plenty of things you could and should do to make your mode of transportation as winter ready as possible.

Not everyone can afford two sets of tires for their car or truck, myself included, so I’ll be gingerly making my way around on All-season tires instead of the much better Winter tires. Quebec is the only province where Winter tires are mandatory from mid November to mid April. I believe in B.C. it’s mandatory to have the tires or chains when travelling on mountain highways.

While purchasing winter tires is an expense I just can’t afford right now (I just bought 4-new All-season tires this past summer) I do think it’s the smart thing to have on your car when the snow flies. They may not be perfect but they do make a difference and could save lives. I’ll be chancing it for now like I have been since I started driving. If you drive accordingly and avoid bad road conditions whenever possible, you can do just fine.

Tires are the main safety item but there are other things you should think about as well.

I just had my rear window defroster fixed so I won’t have icing on my windows. Make sure your heater, blower and defrosters are working. If your windshield wipers are getting old, have them replaced to make sure your visibility remains as clear as possible. There’s nothing worse then looking through dirty, streaky windows and then ploughing into a snow bank.

Some people like to store a “Survival Kit” in their cars. While I don’t have all of the suggested items in mine, I do keep a few things in there, especially the ones I’ve used in the past. At the top of my list is a shovel. It doesn’t need to be a big one as long as it will do the job clearing away snow from the tires or to clear a path. Many times I’ve been snowed in while at work or the plough has gone by and created an ice and snow wall in my path. The shovel is nice to have to get out of those situations.

I think everyone has an ice scrapper or snow brush in their cars…that’s a no brainer. Extra windshield washer fluid is always a smart thing to have on hand along with gloves, hats, a blanket and a flashlight. I think that’s the bare minimum but you can be even more prepared with booster cables, sand, tow rope, first-aid kit, candle, matches and food but if you’re not venturing into the wilderness, you can probably mange without most of that. Just don’t plan any day trips into the Northwest Territories.

One other thing I always do, even in the summer time, is never let the gas in my car drop below half a tank. It’s just a habit I’ve gotten myself into and I think it’s a good one. If you get stuck somewhere, you can at least keep warm by running the car if you have the gas to do so.

Just a couple more things I would suggest and these are things that drive me nuts. I always clean my car off before I hit the road. I’ll clear the windshield, side windows, rear window, hood, roof and trunk along with my lights and license plate. How many times have you watched a car go by and someone has only turned their wipers on to get a view but their mirrors, side windows, headlights, back window and plate are still covered. These people need to be fined. In all my years I can’t recall ever seeing a cop pull someone over for this. I’m not saying they don’t, just that I’ve never seen it. They’re endangering others on the road and pedestrians as well.

Along the same lines are the people who don’t let their windows defrost before taking off. There they are hunched over to the right, peering though the only small clear spot on the windshield trying to get where they’re going. This is an accident waiting to happen. Plan ahead and give yourself time to properly prepare your car for the trip.

Finally, the best advice I can give is this…if you don’t have to absolutely travel in bad weather…DON’T. Stay off the roads. Going to work or emergencies are one thing but traveling in horrible weather conditions to pick up a loaf of bread is crazy. It can wait. Of course if you’re beer supply is running low, then I suppose that could be classed as an emergency situation.

Have a safe winter!

Ya Know What Grinds My Gears?

I don’t think I'd be wrong in saying that pretty much everyone has some Pet Peeves that annoys the “h-e-double-hockey-sticks” out of them. It could be the slightest most obscure thing but every time you see, hear or experience it, it’s as exasperating as someone dragging their fingernails down a chalkboard.

This is one of those subjects that can be continued and updated from time to time as day to day we’re reminded of new annoyances that we might have forgotten about. In the future I may talk about others that didn’t make this list. Here are a few off the top of my head to get us started.

Using You’s
Oh baby this is a big time pet peeve of mine. Nothing drives me more insane than when I’m sitting in a restaurant with family or friends and the waitress comes along and asks, “How are you’s today” or “Can I get you’s some drinks to start” or the always popular “Are you’s ready to order?” Aaarggghh! I am so tempted to reply with “we’s fine” or “yes we’s is”, but I just can’t do it. I'd rather hear them say "How ya'll doing?" It isn't much better but it's less annoying to me. Please, if you’s is guilty of using you’s would you’s please stop immediately. Thank you’s.

Lead Foot Ladies
You know who you are. These are the women drivers who put the gas pedal through the floorboards of their vehicle and nearly or sometimes do cause accidents through their aggressive driving techniques. Rarely a day goes by when I’m not tailgated and passed by a woman driver exceeding the speed limit.

This isn’t just limited to young female drivers. Just the other day I had two women over 30 (one in her 60’s at least) ride my ass and then pass without signals only to speed away. I was doing 90 km/h in an 80 km/h zone and I felt like I was standing still. I realize that not all women drivers are like this and men can be just as guilty but more and more I’ll see someone driving this way and before I get a good look at them I’ll say, “I bet it’s a woman” and 9 times out of 10…it usually is.

Debit Addicts
In this ever changing world, more and more people are moving away from carrying a lot of cash on them and instead choosing to use their debit cards. I’m one of those people. However, I won’t use it for one small inexpensive item. How many times have you been stuck behind someone in line at a store trying to use their debit card to buy something that costs 99 cents?

If they were quick about it I could forgive them but when they seem to take forever or their card isn’t working properly anymore and they’re forced to swipe the card 4 or 5 times…that gets me a little annoyed. For the love of God…carry at least 10 bucks on you at all times for these small purchases and save us all some time.

Dog Droppings
I love dogs but what I can’t stand are lazy dog owners who can’t pick up after their pets. There’s nothing more revolting than walking along the sidewalk and seeing the remnants of Fido’s last stroll.

What’s making it worse are lazy owners who let their dogs run free in public parks, soccer fields and cemeteries to get some exercise only to leave a pile of Rover’s finest stewed butt droppings as a present. Unsuspecting visitors who will be scraping it off their shoes and cleats in the near future. If you don’t like picking up after your dog…then DON’T OWN ONE! Carry a plastic bag in your pocket and keep him on a leash unless you’re in a designated dog park. Oh, and pray you don’t see me if you can’t follow these simple rules. I’ve had enough of it.

Gum Gum Dumb Dumb
At least three times this past year I stepped in some disrespectful persons disgusting, discarded chewing gum. First off, I think chewing gum is unattractive to begin with. To see someone gnawing away on a piece and looking like a cow chewing its cud looks atrocious no matter who’s doing it.

Now I realize people are naturally lazy and it’s so much easier to fire a used piece of gum out the window of a car or drop it on the ground then it is to locate a suitable garbage container or piece of paper to roll it up in. Hey, I’m as lazy as the next person at times but even these people must hate having to scrape someone else’s bubble gum off the underside of their $150 Nike’s. So why do they do it? It baffles me. These people need to have gum matted in their hair as punishment.

Restaurant Booths
As a hefty man I have to pick and choose the restaurants I visit not only by the quality of food they provide but also by the seating arrangements offered. There are a few places that only offer seating in the form of booths which is fine, provided they’re big enough to accommodate me. That is not the case in a lot of places.

When I make a reservation, I always explain that I need a table with chairs so I know I’ll have room. It’s a bit embarrassing but this is the way it has to be. I take it as a slap to the face and it is a little upsetting when the solution suggested by a restaurant employee is to place a chair at the end of a booth, thus placing me in the aisle or walkway. As if I wasn’t already feeling uncomfortable.

So if that is the only solution, I will usually leave. If I have to wait for a table and chairs to come open, I will. Fortunately most people who have dined out with me in the past know how I feel about this and are accepting. One thing I know for sure is that I’m not the only person who has to live through these awkward moments. And don’t get me started on the small seats in stadiums, hockey arenas and theatres.

Of course there are plenty of other things that grind my gears and when I think of more I’ll be sure to bring them to you. Also, if you have any, feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear them.

No Olympic Fever Yet

With the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver / Whistler B.C. less than 100 days away, I can honestly say, I’m not all that excited yet.

I’ll be honest; I’m not a huge fan of the winter sports. Biathlon, cross-country skiing, figure skating and curling just don’t get me pumped up. If there’s a Canadian taking part, and there usually is, I’ll probably watch and send supportive vibes their way but that’s about it. About the only winter Olympic sport I have any desire to watch is hockey. I’m sure that probably comes as a shock to no one.

If there’s no hockey to enjoy, I can tolerate speed skating (short distances) and short track speed skating. I’ve been known to enjoy luge and bobsled races as well and ski-jumping is like watching Nascar…you’re always waiting for the next crash.

But hockey is what really gets me excited. Sure it’s our national sport and the majority of Canadians eat, sleep and drink hockey in the winter time but it’s not just the men’s game. I also enjoy watching the women play as well.

The ladies game might not have the hitting that the men’s game has but it’s still an impressive game to watch when the best teams hit the ice. One thing I’ve noticed about the Canadian women’s hockey team the last few times I’ve watched them play is how poorly they pass the puck. I blame that on the coach, who by the way is also a woman. Now there’s no way I can say anything negative without sounding like a male chauvinist pig but I’ve said for the last few years, Team Canada’s women’s hockey team would greatly benefit from having an experienced male coach in charge. There, I’ve said it.

I don’t know how many years Melody Davidson has been coaching the girls but it’s time for Hockey Canada t make a change and bring in a coach with a resume that screams champion. Who would that be? That’s not for me to decide but there are certainly plenty of candidates available. The only thing Davidson has that another coach might not have is “time”. You thought I was going to say “breasts” didn’t you? Shame on you!

To my knowledge she only coaches the women so she can devote all of her time to that endeavour. Another coach might have an obligation to an NHL or a Junior Club which isn’t as convenient for attending other events such as the Four Nations Cup as a tune-up for the Olympics. For this reason alone, I doubt we’ll ever see hockey Canada appoint a proven NHL calibre coach to right the ship which is the National Women’s Hockey Team. I may be wrong but I believe Canada is the only team with a female head coach.

While it’s nice to see the women’s team do well, the real pressure lies on the men’s team. The team has yet to be officially announced but will be filled with Canada’s best NHL players. The selection of this team receives more attention and discussion then any other topic in Canada. Canadians are more passionate about hockey than almost any other topic. Sure there are some who could care less but overall it is something that a lot of Canadians feel strongly about. We take pride in our hockey ability and hate it when another country beats us. It does happen from time to time though.

Quite simply when it comes to the Olympics and hockey…it’s Gold or nothing. Unless we win it all, we have failed and nobody knows that more than the management, staff and players on the team. The pressure to win is unmatched by any other sport in Canada. Ask any of the players on the team and they know what is expected of them. They demand it of themselves as well.

By no means do I mean to diminish the accomplishments of other Canadian athletes. I wish they could all win gold medals and I’ll be rooting them on when they compete. But while they may be skating, skiing or curling for gold, they know that the focus of an entire nation will be fixed squarely on Team Canada and its fight to dominate the hockey world once again.

So I don’t have Olympic fever just yet and if all goes well, once it does kick in, hopefully that will be the only fever I suffer through this winter. Luckily you don’t have to stand in line for an Olympic fever flu shot.

Kick Off The Season

I can't think of any other way to kick off the holiday season other than by doing something that has become a bit of a tradition for my blog each year at this time.

The family has gotten together to sing a little Christmas Medley for you to enjoy. This year we gave my sister-in-law Erin a rest but found a super replacement in the form of my nephew Noah.

So without any further ado, here's my mom, dad, brother Scott, nephew and myself bringing you some Christmas cheer. Enjoy it while it lasts as it will be gone in the new year.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Note: If you find it slow or choppy, you might need to let it load and play once and then play it again for a better view.

Eleventh Hour, Eleventh Day, Eleventh Month

Copyright 2009 Mark Kennedy

This coming Wednesday is Remembrance Day in Canada and like all of the years past, Canadian soldiers who sacrificed their lives for their country will be remembered on this day.

Some people will remember family members or friends who fought and died in the great wars or other conflicts right up to the latest fighting in Afghanistan. I hope others with no personal connection will at least stop for a couple of minutes even if only to show a quiet respect for those brave men and women who lost their lives in battle.

I’m guilty of not knowing or perhaps remembering enough about my own family’s involvement. The only family member I can recall who took part in any war directly was my Uncle Hollis; who served aboard a sub-chaser in WWII. Beyond that, I can’t recall much else and sadly he passed away a couple of years ago so talking to him isn’t possible.

Another friend of our family is nearly 90 years old and he served in Europe during the Second World War with the Canadian artillery. He never liked to talk about it too much but from time to time he would volunteer a story from that experience and I was quite interested in what he had to say.

My father used to work with a man who stormed the beach on D-Day in Normandy and although he has since passed on, he did share some stories with my dad. His name was Rusty and he spoke of how he never understood why he was spared. During the landing on Juno Beach he had two fellow soldiers shot and killed on either side of him yet he survived. I’m sure stories like this were very common among those involved in that invasion.

These men and all of the men and women who have given their lives in service to their country and freedom deserve our thanks and unwavering gratitude now and forever.

War has changed a lot since the 1940’s. There were no smart bombs, drones or heat-seeking anything. Apache helicopters, F-22 Raptors and patriot missiles could never have been imagined. You knew your enemy and quite often you could see them as you fought them. Today, those battles are rare indeed. Of the over 130 Canadians killed in Afghanistan, the majority were killed not in traditional battles but by improvised explosive devices (IED’s) planted in the ground by the enemy.

The battle fields have changed, but the resulting loss of life, sadness and heartache never changes. Regardless of your opinions of war you have to respect the sacrifices made in the pursuit of freedom for all. Your right to express your opinions is directly related to those who have fought for our rights and freedom. Without those sacrifices, you wouldn’t be enjoying the freedom you have today. So if you can’t get to your local Remembrance Day service in person on Wednesday morning, then at least pause for two minutes at 11:00 a.m. wherever you are and remember them. They would have done the same for you.

Copyright 2009 Mark Kennedy

Photo Recognition

For the second year in a row I have received an Honourable Mention in the photo contest run by the city I live in.

I don't really enter the contest expecting to win or even do well. I usually enter as a way to sort of legitimize my photography hobby.

I take a lot of photos throughout the year and never really do much with them so it's nice to enter the odd contest just to make owning all of the expensive equipment worthwhile. I usually take photos and edit them to please myself but it's nice to see others might enjoy my work as well.

I have to attend a council meeting at City Hall on November 16th to receive my prize. Congratulations to everyone else who had their photos selected.

This is the photo of mine that they seemed to like the most. It's an old church built in the 1870's that has been restored and turned into a meeting hall.

Copyright 2009 Mark Kennedy

Yankees Buy Another Championship

Congratulations to the New York Yankees who won their 27th World Series Championship earlier tonight by beating the Philadelphia Phillies in six games.

It seems only appropriate they won as greed and excess seem to be a popular theme right now in many areas.

What other team in Major League Baseball best personifies this as much as the Bronx Bombers?

With a payroll of over $200 million dollars this season, the Yankees did what many other teams in the league couldn't do...buy a title.

To try and put this into perspective, the top three payed players on the Yankees combined made more than the entire Florida Marlins team this season. The Marlins payroll at the start of the season was just under $37-million. Heck, my Blue Jays were only around $80-million. How could they possibly compete? Sure, money doesn't guarantee a championship but it greatly improves the odds of winning.

It might sound like I'm bashing the Yankees and I admit, I'm not a fan but that isn't my point. They didn't break any league rules and that is what bothers me even more.

The fact that rules don't exist to even the playing field and make the league more competitive is a travesty. Of course a player making $33-million is another disgusting problem with the league.

Teams in smaller markets will never be able to compete because they won't have the financial resources available to lure top veteran players looking for high dollar contracts. And with free agency, the Yankees can out-bid pretty much any other team to get the players they want. It's like poker. One player has a large chip count and he can bully other players out of the pot by betting high and scaring them off.

The 2009 Yankees are sipping champagne as World Champions primarily because the team spent over $420 million to sign baseball’s top three available free agents in Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett last winter.

Then add in the fact they spent nearly $300 million to secure Alex Rodriguez following the 2007 season as well as more big contracts for superstars including Jorge Posada, Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera.

Until Major League Baseball does something to control this kind of spending, the Yanks will always have an advantage.

Birds Of A Feather

Here it is November already. Less than two months to go before another decade is complete. Actually, is that right? Do we count the year 2000 as the first year? Well, that's what I'm going with for now.

Any way, now that November is here and the clocks have returned to Standard Time we're down to about 11 hours of daylight in these parts as the days continue to get shorter. In fact, just the other day I had the snow-blower out and made sure it was running and ready to go for the winter ahead.

Sadly, with the change in weather, my opportunities to get out and photograph will likely start to drop off drastically. Being a warm weather person, I don't tend to venture out as much during the winter. Not to mention the fact that taking photos in minus 15 degree conditions isn't quite as enjoyable. I think it might have something to do with my face freezing to the camera. So I'm trying to take advantage of what nice weather we have left.

Today I struck out with the sun shinning and the mercury around +10 Celsius and had some fun. I found some Mute Swans fishing for food along the shores of the local Provincial Park and trained my camera on them for about 15 minutes before they became annoyed with me. Here's one of the shots I came away with.

Copyright 2009 Mark Kennedy