Sometimes I Ain't Too Bright

I'll admit it. It doesn't happen too often but there are, on rare occasions, times when I might not act in the most intelligent manner or do something that would be classed as being bright.

I'm certainly man enough to admit it when I've done something just not right. You know the moments when people look at you and say, "He's not the crispiest chip in the bag."

Well, one such occasion happened just the other day. I had arrived at my parents campsite and after helping to unload some firewood, I decided to start a fire. We had some time to kill before supper and it was a cool afternoon and a fire to sit around and chat would be nice.

Now I've made hundreds and hundreds of campfires in my lifetime. I've been camping every summer my entire life and know how to make a good fire. One thing I've never been accused of is having a fire that wasn't big enough or warm enough.

I shredded a bunch of paper and put it in the fireplace. Next I took some dry wood that will easily burn and get the fire going before adding any heavier wood. You have to build up some heat and coals before you add the big log that will burn for hours.

Everything was going great, until I spotted a can of lighter fluid. I don't recall the exact brand or the exact fluid but it was likely an aliphatic petroleum solvent to light BBQ's or it could have been good 'ol Naphtha. What ever it was, I don't normally use it but thought to myself, "Hmm...why not?" So I opened the can and started pouring it on a bit at a time. I stopped and then thought that a bit more would be a good idea so I more or less soaked the wood and the paper.

I stepped away for a bit to talk and then searched the trailer for the matches and sauntered over the the fire pit. I grabbed a match and proceeded to strike it. It didn't start. I struck it again and this time the match came to life with a nice flame. I bent over and was lowering the match into the pit in anticipation of putting the flame to the paper.

I'm sure you've figured out where I'm going with this story by now haven't you?

Before I could get the match close to the paper, there was an explosion...a big poof if you will, and a large fireball enveloped my hands, arms, head and upper body. I quickly jumped back, and I don't do much of anything quickly anymore, as the shock and heat had me patting my head, face and arms to put out the fire that wasn't even there.

It seems whatever had happened managed to start the fire, however it wasn't enough to set me on fire. Instead, the worst that happened was all the hair on my arms was burnt or singed and the smell of burnt hair was quite pungent. Luckily my eyebrows were still in place and came out of the experience unscathed.

Fortunately there was no real damage and I wasn't forced to "Stop, Drop and Roll" to but out any fire on me. I've certainly learned my lesson. From now on when I light the campfire, I'll be sure to light the match and then throw it in from a distance to ignite the lighter fluid. Come on now...you didn't think I was going to stop using that stuff now did you?