Weight Isn't Everything

As I continue to work towards improving my health I’ve been learning a few things along the way. Probably the most important thing I’ve learned is to not focus on the results when I step on the scale.

I think for those of us in my generation and older, we focus too much on weight and dropping those numbers. That isn’t to say that losing weight isn’t a big deal. In fact it’s a huge deal for many people suffering from obesity. But there’s more to achieving a healthier lifestyle than dropping pounds.

When I started on this road to increase my chances of living a longer life I was solely focused on the numbers that I saw when I stepped on my scale. My success or failure was based on seeing those numbers drop. The more the number decreased the happier I was and the more successful I felt about what I was trying to do.

There isn’t anything wrong with that…up to a point. Once I stopped just reducing my calories and walking and began making regular visits to the gym to lift weights and build muscle, my weight loss stalled. What the heck was happening?

I was still eating as I’d planned and I was exercising by walking, jogging on the treadmill and had recently started burning more calories by getting my heart rate up on the elliptical, which is my new favourite form of cardio at the gym. It’s tiring but easier on the joints and I think I actually burn more calories with a 35 minute workout.

So why wasn’t my weight still dropping. The fact of the matter is, by lifting weights five days a week I was adding muscle which weighs as much or more than fat. Building muscle burns fat as well. So even though my weight was maintaining at a steady number, my body was still making positive changes.
My waist, thighs, wrists, arms, neck, legs and butt among other fatty areas were still shrinking and in fact are still shrinking. My weight hadn’t changed a bit but my body shape is still transforming and improving. My new jeans I got for Christmas are already getting loose on me. My boxers that used to be really snug are fitting much better. The 2X T-shirts I bought that were a tad snug around the belly are now loose and hanging much better now. 
Lifting weights, building muscle and toning the body is just as important as a healthy diet. It took me some time to learn this but now I can’t imagine not lifting weights at least a few times during the week. I’ll slow down a bit in the summer months just because I’m more active then but during the colder seasons and currently I find myself at the gym working with weights a minimum of five days a week.

I still step on the scale and get a little disappointed when I don’t see my numbers dropping, mainly because I set a goal for myself when I started this journey and want to reach that number. But I’m trying to change my mindset to not focus on the weight but rather the results and my appearance.

I'm working at it!

Two people at 250 pounds can look entirely different in their body types. One could be obese with a huge belly and flabby limbs while another will look much thinner and more toned. They weigh the same but their overall health is completely different.

So I’m trying to learn that weight isn’t everything but that won’t stop me from working towards getting to my original goal of 250 pounds. That would mean I’ve dropped the needed 168.8 pounds to attain this goal I set for myself when I started.

And where am I currently in this endeavour? As of today I weigh 258.2 pounds for a total of 160.6 pounds lost. This leaves me a total of 8.2 pounds away from my goal which in all honesty, I doubted I’d ever have a hope in hell of reaching. But now even this king of all pessimists has to admit it can be done.

A Year Already! Well, Almost.

Although my weight loss journey really kinda sorta maybe began in the Fall of 2012, the real work began nearly one year ago and it still seems like a dream to me that this is really happening.

It was March 2013 when I was officially diagnosed with Diabetes and placed on oral medication to help bring my blood sugars under control. That’s not to say they were completely insane but certainly elevated and worthy of concern. My doctor at the time had me on a couple of different pills to quickly bring my numbers down. I was posting readings of 14 to 16 mmol/L which is a far cry from the range of 4.5 to 6.0 readings I’m getting now. My usual readings are right around 5.1 mmol/L which I’m very happy with.

My doctor eventually was pleased with my weight loss and reduced my daily pill intake which made me happy. I want to avoid insulin if possible just because to me that seems like a warning sign that things aren’t getting better. That’s my uneducated diagnosis any way.

But it was right after my doctor gave me the bad news that the alarms went off in my head. It was time to stop being such a wimp, grow some balls and get serious about changing and improving my life.You might think that going from eating whatever and whenever I wanted to counting calories and downsizing my portions would be a tough thing to do. Let me tell you, you’re right!

I love food. And not the leafy green, low calorie stuff. I like fried foods, fast food, greasy food, bread, butter…basically anything you can think of that isn’t considered healthy, that’s what I liked to eat. I’ve never sat down and calculated what a typical day of calories would have been for the old me when I didn’t try to keep an eye on things but I can imagine I was pushing anywhere from 5000 to 7000 calories in a day without trying. Now I shoot for around 1800 calories a day…give or take.

But it wasn’t just the calories that were an issue. After spending my youth, teens and 20’s being pretty active, that all changed and I found myself spending more time in front of the computer or the TV. I stopped being active and if you’re not doing anything to burn the calories, well, the resulting obese mess I became spoke volumes.

Yes, its been nearly a year since I finally got a clue and decided to get healthy. That isn’t to say I was then or am now expecting to become a GQ model and have six pack abs and a rock hard body. Come on! I’m not living in a fantasy world. After decades of abusing myself, I knew the best case scenario was likely going to be getting into the mid-200’s if I was lucky. I’d still have a flabby stomach and thighs but dropping my weight from 420 pounds to that would be a huge game changer.

So here I am today, 11 months into my determined effort to shape a new and improved version of myself and I think I’ve done a pretty decent job so far.

My current weight sits around 261 pounds. Now it would likely be even lower than that but I’m doing a fair bet of weight lifting and building muscle which adds weight. So I’m happy to break even there. If I’m adding muscle and my weight isn’t going up, then I must still be burning fat. Truth is, I know I am. I can still see my waistline shrinking as I can nearly get into another smaller pair of jeans. Even my watch and my Fitbit bracelet on my wrists can be done up to a tighter spot now. The separation between my thighs continues to grow. Truth be told, I just wish my ass looked better. I wish I had an ass!

I never thought I’d be a gym guy but I really like going. I try to work out five days a week using the treadmill and elliptical machines for cardio and of course the weights for muscle building. I don’t have any work out buddies and stick mainly to myself which is kind of boring but at the same time I can focus on what I’m doing and get the job done without distractions. People at the gym seem friendly although most seem to keep to themselves. We do a lot of head nodding and smiles as greetings. Not a lot of talking. Of course most people wear headphones to listen to music while working up a sweat. I’m no different but will gladly turn the tunes off if anyone wants to chit chat. I can think of a few ladies worth taking the time to converse with.

The Weight Loss Wall

As I work to make changes to my lifestyle and eating habits in the attempt to further my downward trend in heftiness, I continue to have a love / hate relationship with my bathroom scale. It's a lovely and quite attractive Weight Watchers digital scale that I purchased at the local Walmart but lately we haven't been getting along.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't put any weight back on. I'm just frustrated because my weight has been remaining as steady as the hands of a brain surgeon. Plateau's happen and I was prepared and fully expected it at some point but for nearly two weeks I've been stuck at 282 pounds.

I'm thrilled by the 136 pounds I've lost so far but for the life of me I can't understand why I'm not budging off this present number. I feel as though I've been exercising plenty and the majority of time I'm at or below my target for daily calorie intake. So I'm perplexed as to what is causing this weight loss wall I'm banging my head and ample bottom against.

I try not to get fixated on the numbers too much and tell myself it will pass. Just keep doing what you're doing and eventually my body will get the message and the weight will start to drop again. That's my hope at least.

Meanwhile I have been noticing some changes to my body shape and size. Is my body just shifting the weight around from one place to another I have to wonder? I'm no expert on the subject but while it's a tad disappointing to be stuck against this wall, it's encouraging to see that the efforts I've been making have made changes to my overall appearance.

I've posted photos of my face before which clearly indicated I was making progress. I've posted photos of me wearing new and smaller sized clothing. I've also tried wearing old clothing that is now several sizes too big for me. These are all indications that the hard work is paying off despite the fact my weight loss has stalled.

Posting photos of me in clothing only shows part of the picture. Today I've posted another photo of my ugly belly. It's taken from the side and is a comparison photo showing my progress over the last six months.

I've posted similar photos before and some people ask me if I'm embarrassed by sharing images like these. To be honest, I don't see why I should be and after years of living in this body and dealing with bullies and people who looked down on me, I eventually realized that I don't care what they think. 

If I don't respect you I don't value your opinion. I accepted who I am and that's all that matters. The rest of them can just bugger off. This is who I was and who I am at this moment. Covering up with bulky clothing in an attempt to hide what's underneath doesn't change anything. I know I'm not some GQ model with ripped abs and chiselled features but I'm still ecstatic with the transformation that has occurred so far.

Click on the image to see it larger

I think it's pretty clear in this photo that the progress in the last six months alone has been significant. My belly is less rounded and the lower stomach is shrunken in more. The fat on my elbow appears to be less and the always popular man boobs have been reduced some.

By no means am I announcing "Mission Accomplished!" In fact, it's the complete opposite. I truly believe, and this darn wall is a good indicator, that the toughest road lies ahead on this journey. I must dig deeper and work harder to reach my goals. The changes I've made to my eating habits and lifestyle have worked wonders but more changes will need to be made and I'm hoping I've started those already.

Anyone that has ever been on a journey like this knows the closer you get to reaching your goals or dreams, the more you'll be challenged and how I react and face those challenges will determine whether I succeed or fail in this life changing and saving endeavour. I will not fail!

To Diet or Not To Diet

That is a tough thing for me to consider. I really hate the word diet because to me it has seemed impossible. Well, maybe not impossible but certainly challenging.

I find myself wondering if I should give it another try. Sure my head is willing but I know I'm just setting myself up for failure one more time.

I've had some success in the past. Back in my senior years of high school I got serious for a few months and had some positive results. I was counting my calories and keeping a written record of everything I ate each day and how many calories I consumed. I can't recall what I set my limit at but I believe the most I was allowed in one day was 1400 calories. Heck, I can consume that many in one meal if I wanted to. But I stuck to it and I had some results. Now I see if I tried that, I'm actually allowed to eat a lot more calories and still be able to lose weight. There is a God!

I've never been one to weigh myself either. I have a rough idea or guess at how much I weigh at this very moment and it lets just say you don't want to try and lift me. Even when I was on that diet which was 20 years ago I didn't weigh myself, I was only concerned with how I looked and if I was looking thinner. I did lose some excess flab and people noticed which was positive but then I got off the diet. I don't recall why exactly but my grandfather passed away around that time and I took it pretty hard and that might have led to my relapse and return to my old ways.

Over the many years since then, I've had moments where I tried to control my eating habits and make some changes but they never lasted either. I'm not a Richard Simmons fan so you can forget about me Dealing a Meal or Sweating to any Oldies. I don't have anything against Billy Blanks but I won't be using Tae Bo anytime soon either. I'd probably pull my groin muscle if I tried a kick.

I'm not one who will join an aerobics class either. The last thing I want to do is be in a fitness club with all kinds of hot women in skimpy workout clothes doing lunges to crappy music. I do remember riding a stationary bike at the gym in college once and watching those ladies though. I worked up quite a sweat doing that.

No, if I'm going to take this seriously, I have to either do it my way or pay a personal trainer to whip me into shape, and I can't afford that. Actually, I don't eat a whole lot but the foods I do eat are not the healthiest. I don't think there's a diet where all you eat is pizza, meat and potatoes, French fries and Big Macs. I can't stand fruit. I won't eat any kinds of fruit at all. I wish I liked fruit because that would at least give me something healthy to snack on. So I just need to control how much I eat and when I eat it.

Exercise is my biggest problem. I don't get much of it at all. Even if I could get myself out of the house to walk around the block once a day, that would be something at least. But instead I park my butt in front of the TV or computer and come up with excuses why I can't go walking. It all comes back to willpower again. I need to get the willpower to force myself to do it. Either that or I need a 23-year-old beautiful blond to come and get me each day and be my walking and exercise partner. Yes indeed, that could be all the encouragement I need.