After viewing this video below, I felt my manly juices start to flow and I was all Gung-Ho to serve my country by whatever means they would allow me.
I watched the video and thought to myself, how could I best serve the Canadian Military at age 41?
One thing is for sure...I can't fly CF-18 Hornet Fighter Jets. It's not that I couldn't do it. Heck I've been playing Microsoft's Flight Simulator game for years. The only problem I could foresee is trying to fit my fat ass into the cockpit. Actually, I might be able to get in, but I'd need a team of specially trained grounds crew members with crowbars to pry me out.
How about the Navy? Perhaps I could be a cook or lug ammunition to the deck guns. Truth be told, I'd probably only be qualified to be the anchor. But even that won't work since I can't hold my breath very long.
That leaves the Army. Sorry...I've never been much of a backpacker and I don't enjoy taking hikes with friends.
Damn...it looks like the only way I can get involved is to continue wearing red on Friday's. Come to think of it, I need to wash my red boxers and iron my Canadian flag for tomorrow.
All kidding aside, this is an impressive video and is a great example of how the Canadian Forces should be respected world wide. We may not have the numbers like other countries, but nobody can match our heart and determination. History has proven that.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
This Summer Stinks
I don't really have anything to say other than how much I have disliked the weather this summer.
The rain has one upside and that is I don't have to put the sprinkler on the lawn at all. The heat has been almost non-existent. I think we've had one or two "hot" days and the rest have felt more like early September.
The weather experts say August could be dryer and hotter. This of course means absolutely nothing because if they're wrong they'll just come up with some reason for the change. They'll blame it on El Niño or La Niña or El Guapo or some damn thing.
It's a good thing these meteorologists didn't become surgeons. Can you imagine the conversations with the family after he / she got the procedure wrong yet again. "I'm sorry Mrs. Smith but things didn't go as forecasted...we took the wrong arm off. But I'm sure we'll get it right tomorrow."
Just today we had a lot more rain and thunderstorms. It was quite wet at the trailer. There was one bright spot however as the sun came out long enough to give us a nice rainbow. I thought about trying to find the pot of gold at the end but I didn't have a boat.
The rain has one upside and that is I don't have to put the sprinkler on the lawn at all. The heat has been almost non-existent. I think we've had one or two "hot" days and the rest have felt more like early September.
The weather experts say August could be dryer and hotter. This of course means absolutely nothing because if they're wrong they'll just come up with some reason for the change. They'll blame it on El Niño or La Niña or El Guapo or some damn thing.
It's a good thing these meteorologists didn't become surgeons. Can you imagine the conversations with the family after he / she got the procedure wrong yet again. "I'm sorry Mrs. Smith but things didn't go as forecasted...we took the wrong arm off. But I'm sure we'll get it right tomorrow."
Just today we had a lot more rain and thunderstorms. It was quite wet at the trailer. There was one bright spot however as the sun came out long enough to give us a nice rainbow. I thought about trying to find the pot of gold at the end but I didn't have a boat.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Another Damn Birthday!
Geez...didn't I just agonize over turning 40? Have 365 days gone by that fast?
It's true...the older you get the faster time seems to pass. By this time next year I'll be 70.
Oh well, I guess I'll just have to hold my chin up (to hide the sagging skin) and grin (to eliminate the wrinkles) and put on a brave face. I wonder if I can put on a new body while I'm at it?
I figure rather than posting a photo of my decrepit form I'd be better off posting a photo of my much older yet good looking parents. Maybe I can deflect the attention on to them.
Happy stinkin' Birthday to me.
If anyone wants to cheer me up, feel free to send me a pair of 20 year old sexy sorority girls. One blonde and one brunette if you can swing it. Brains are optional.
It's true...the older you get the faster time seems to pass. By this time next year I'll be 70.
Oh well, I guess I'll just have to hold my chin up (to hide the sagging skin) and grin (to eliminate the wrinkles) and put on a brave face. I wonder if I can put on a new body while I'm at it?
I figure rather than posting a photo of my decrepit form I'd be better off posting a photo of my much older yet good looking parents. Maybe I can deflect the attention on to them.
Happy stinkin' Birthday to me.
If anyone wants to cheer me up, feel free to send me a pair of 20 year old sexy sorority girls. One blonde and one brunette if you can swing it. Brains are optional.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Show Pride, Not Your Penis
(Please be aware that this brief commentary contains links to images that contain nudity and may be offensive to some readers. If in doubt or nudity offends you, DON'T click the links.)
I've never quite understood why the gay community in Toronto felt it was necessary to have a parade every year to show their pride in being homosexual. I'm heterosexual and to my knowledge there are no parades for us to celebrate our sexual orientation, nor would I need to ride a float to announce it and force it on others.
I'm not against the gay community and I'm not a religious man, I just believe there must be a moral standard we abide by even in these modern times. I have known many gay people and aside from what goes on in their personal lives and having some different interests, we're really the same. In fact, a few of them refuse to attend the parade in Toronto due to the disgusting displays and nudity that is flaunted year after year.
Seriously, if I was to organize a parade in my town and walk down the street with my penis bouncing in the breeze, I'd expect to be arrested. However, in Toronto this is a common occurrence during the Pride Parade and the police seem to look the other way. I guess tourism dollars are more important than enforcing our public decency laws.
Nudity doesn't offend me in the least. I don't have a problem with the human body and I'm certainly not a prude. Perhaps it is my upbringing but I don't understand why these individuals feel compelled to show off their reproductive organs at a public event that underage children can attend. Can't you be a proud gay man or woman without removing your pants? Sure some can...but why can't they all?
The topless women don't bother me or the men who are also topless but wear skimpy bikini briefs. At least they have their most private areas covered.
I don't have a problem with politicians who support the gay community like NDP Leader Jack Layton who actually participates in the parade but where are his moral values? If he is fine with this then I can't respect him and certainly would never vote for him.
If they are going to continue the tradition of the Gay Pride Parade in Toronto then I wish them the best of luck and continued success if they feel that it's necessary. Have fun and bring smiles to those who attend the event. I just wish the organizers would take a stand and force the participants to wear pants at the very least. If that's what it takes to be gay, then I'm glad I was born a heterosexual man.
I've never quite understood why the gay community in Toronto felt it was necessary to have a parade every year to show their pride in being homosexual. I'm heterosexual and to my knowledge there are no parades for us to celebrate our sexual orientation, nor would I need to ride a float to announce it and force it on others.
I'm not against the gay community and I'm not a religious man, I just believe there must be a moral standard we abide by even in these modern times. I have known many gay people and aside from what goes on in their personal lives and having some different interests, we're really the same. In fact, a few of them refuse to attend the parade in Toronto due to the disgusting displays and nudity that is flaunted year after year.
Seriously, if I was to organize a parade in my town and walk down the street with my penis bouncing in the breeze, I'd expect to be arrested. However, in Toronto this is a common occurrence during the Pride Parade and the police seem to look the other way. I guess tourism dollars are more important than enforcing our public decency laws.
Nudity doesn't offend me in the least. I don't have a problem with the human body and I'm certainly not a prude. Perhaps it is my upbringing but I don't understand why these individuals feel compelled to show off their reproductive organs at a public event that underage children can attend. Can't you be a proud gay man or woman without removing your pants? Sure some can...but why can't they all?
The topless women don't bother me or the men who are also topless but wear skimpy bikini briefs. At least they have their most private areas covered.
I don't have a problem with politicians who support the gay community like NDP Leader Jack Layton who actually participates in the parade but where are his moral values? If he is fine with this then I can't respect him and certainly would never vote for him.
If they are going to continue the tradition of the Gay Pride Parade in Toronto then I wish them the best of luck and continued success if they feel that it's necessary. Have fun and bring smiles to those who attend the event. I just wish the organizers would take a stand and force the participants to wear pants at the very least. If that's what it takes to be gay, then I'm glad I was born a heterosexual man.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Transformers 2...No Brain Required
(Warning...this story may contain spoilers)
The latest summer blockbuster is called Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it is making money hand over Autobot.
I enjoyed the first Transformers movie so much that when I heard there was going to be a second movie, I couldn't wait for it to come out. I was looking forward to more action and adventure and I won't lie...seeing Megan Fox again was a pleasant thought.
Now I realize these movies are more testosterone driven then they are by the plot. In fact, I'm not sure this latest installment even had a plot. Greed was probably the only reason this movie was made.
The action was impressive and the computer geeks who sat in front of their monitors for months on end creating the battle scenes earned their money. The CGI was amazing and if I were a guy with no brain who could simply be entertained by slow motion jiggling of Ms. Fox's breasts and seeing her in an awkward yet strategically sexy position while painting a motorcycle...this movie would have been awesome. But I'm not and it wasn't.
Sure it was entertaining and I can forgive some mistakes for the sake of entertainment. After all, you have to put reality aside when you go see a movie about robot aliens from space, but the plot was filled with holes and it struggled to make any sense at all. It was corny and confusing and I almost felt insulted while watching it. Sure it's just for fun but would it hurt to ask the writers to give a little effort. What the hell were they on strike for last year? OK...so where should I start?
If I counted correctly, there are two pieces of the Allspark cube that remain and weren't destroyed in the first movie. The military has one under lock and key, and Sam (Shia LaBeouf) discovers another when it falls out of a piece of his clothing. The Decepticons steal one and use it to bring Megatron back to life. So why is it that Sam had to find the Matrix of Leadership in Egypt when he wanted to give Optimus life once again. Couldn't he have just used the other piece?
For some reason everyone forgot about the Transformers being on Earth between the first movie and this one. They destroyed a whole city in the first flick and there were plenty of wintesses. I guess they borowed the flashy thing from Men in Black to erase their memories.
Apparently Transformers can look like people now as well. And if the robo-girl is made of metal, wouldn't she have crushed Sam when she straddled him on the bed and stuck her tounge down his throat? I guess they can defy gravity as well. Oh well, at least she was hot.
Bumblebee has some how lost his voice again even though it was fixed at the end of the last movie. He better book an appointment with the German doctor robot that needs glasses when he performs procedures. He's a robot...can't he just fix his own eyesight rather than wear glasses?
One of the most obvious goofs was when Sam, Mikaela, and Simmons (John Turturro) go to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C. to locate Jetfire. After they locate him they escape out the back and walk into a field with an airplane graveyard and mountains in the distance. Apparently things have changed even more than I knew in Washington since Obama took office.
I could go on....like when Sam dies for a short time and goes to Robot Heaven. What the hell! Are they serious? Robot Heaven?! Or the captain of a Navy ship taking orders from some unknown guy on a walkie talkie and fires a secret weapon just because he told him to. How about the new twin Autobots and their racially questionable accents? Did we really need to see John Turturro in a thong or a horny robot humping Mikaela's leg?
I could go on but I won't since I'm sure you get the picture.
By all means, don't let this keep you from seeing the movie if you haven't yet. It is 2 and a half hours of explosions, bad acting, great effects and excitement and I'll probably buy it when it comes out on DVD but nobody can tell me it was better than the first movie. I just hope they do a better job on Transformers 3.
The latest summer blockbuster is called Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it is making money hand over Autobot.
I enjoyed the first Transformers movie so much that when I heard there was going to be a second movie, I couldn't wait for it to come out. I was looking forward to more action and adventure and I won't lie...seeing Megan Fox again was a pleasant thought.
Now I realize these movies are more testosterone driven then they are by the plot. In fact, I'm not sure this latest installment even had a plot. Greed was probably the only reason this movie was made.
The action was impressive and the computer geeks who sat in front of their monitors for months on end creating the battle scenes earned their money. The CGI was amazing and if I were a guy with no brain who could simply be entertained by slow motion jiggling of Ms. Fox's breasts and seeing her in an awkward yet strategically sexy position while painting a motorcycle...this movie would have been awesome. But I'm not and it wasn't.
Sure it was entertaining and I can forgive some mistakes for the sake of entertainment. After all, you have to put reality aside when you go see a movie about robot aliens from space, but the plot was filled with holes and it struggled to make any sense at all. It was corny and confusing and I almost felt insulted while watching it. Sure it's just for fun but would it hurt to ask the writers to give a little effort. What the hell were they on strike for last year? OK...so where should I start?
If I counted correctly, there are two pieces of the Allspark cube that remain and weren't destroyed in the first movie. The military has one under lock and key, and Sam (Shia LaBeouf) discovers another when it falls out of a piece of his clothing. The Decepticons steal one and use it to bring Megatron back to life. So why is it that Sam had to find the Matrix of Leadership in Egypt when he wanted to give Optimus life once again. Couldn't he have just used the other piece?
For some reason everyone forgot about the Transformers being on Earth between the first movie and this one. They destroyed a whole city in the first flick and there were plenty of wintesses. I guess they borowed the flashy thing from Men in Black to erase their memories.
Apparently Transformers can look like people now as well. And if the robo-girl is made of metal, wouldn't she have crushed Sam when she straddled him on the bed and stuck her tounge down his throat? I guess they can defy gravity as well. Oh well, at least she was hot.
Bumblebee has some how lost his voice again even though it was fixed at the end of the last movie. He better book an appointment with the German doctor robot that needs glasses when he performs procedures. He's a robot...can't he just fix his own eyesight rather than wear glasses?
One of the most obvious goofs was when Sam, Mikaela, and Simmons (John Turturro) go to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C. to locate Jetfire. After they locate him they escape out the back and walk into a field with an airplane graveyard and mountains in the distance. Apparently things have changed even more than I knew in Washington since Obama took office.
I could go on....like when Sam dies for a short time and goes to Robot Heaven. What the hell! Are they serious? Robot Heaven?! Or the captain of a Navy ship taking orders from some unknown guy on a walkie talkie and fires a secret weapon just because he told him to. How about the new twin Autobots and their racially questionable accents? Did we really need to see John Turturro in a thong or a horny robot humping Mikaela's leg?
I could go on but I won't since I'm sure you get the picture.
By all means, don't let this keep you from seeing the movie if you haven't yet. It is 2 and a half hours of explosions, bad acting, great effects and excitement and I'll probably buy it when it comes out on DVD but nobody can tell me it was better than the first movie. I just hope they do a better job on Transformers 3.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Happy Canada Day
We are celebrating our countries 142nd birthday today and some days I think I feel that old.
If you're Canadian, I hope you have a chance to enjoy the day and celebrate this great country of ours.
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